After the jump, what you've all been waiting for—a totally SFW minute of political porno Who's Nailin' Palin?

Because the clip ends before the nailin' begins, we can't be certain, but we think the answer to the film's titular question is: the Russians.

CONTINUED »

More news from Mother Russia! Known mostly for its sense of humor and unwillingness to accept differences, Russia is in the midst of planning its own version of the hit Western comedy The Office. Exact details of the show are still sketchy, but do expect an episode in which Jim invites Pam to his apartment to drink hairspray and rub the chill from each other's legs.

Criminalizing things: It's what's made Russia grand for years and years (that, and secret torture rooms).

Legislation is currenting being formulated in Russia to heavily regulate emo websites and ban emo and goth dress style in schools and government buildings.

The new laws are apparently being driven by fears that these "dangerous teen trends" encourage depression and suicide.

The legislation defines "emo kids" as "teenagers who wear black, have facial piercings and black hair with fringes that 'cover half the face,'" and it's been met with rampant protesting. One demonstration in Siberia saw a banner that read, "A Totalitarian State Encourages Stupidity." Sensitive but smart, these emo kids.

AMERICAN PRICK SELLS GAUDY MONSTROSITY TO RUSSIAN PRICK "Real estate mogul Donald Trump closed the sale of a Palm Beach mansion to a Russian billionaire Tuesday for the blockbuster price of $95 million. 'I love breaking records,' Trump said Wednesday, 'and this is a record.' It's believed to be the most expensive single-family home ever sold in the United States."