Like every emo kid that came before him, Pete Wentz thinks his son's name, Bronx Mowgli, is above everyone else's comprehension:
'I feel weird — people have all these ideas of what it means now,' Wentz says of his offspring's name during a phone call today to E! News' Ryan Seacrest. 'I think it's kind of cool to leave the narrative the way it is. People are stoked or pissed or whatever … I don't think anybody knows the real story of why or how.'
'We came up with the idea Bronx, we'd been throwing it back and forth a while ago,' he says. As for the origin of the middle name? 'The Jungle Book is something me and Ashlee bonded over. It's really cool.'
Trust us, Pete, you're not nearly as ground-breaking or cool as you'd like to think you are.
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We knew it was bound to happen: American Idol judge Paula Abdul inspired a woman, Paula Goodspeed, to sit outside Abdul's LA home in a parked car. Perfectly normal, no? Anyway, Goodspeed reportedly committed suicide last night in said vehicle.
And because TMZ thrives under situations that are part devastating, part exploitative, the Web site has already dug up everything about this woman, except her social security number. But don't worry, that's on its way.
Here's what the TMZ stalkers have come up with so far:
Before you continue reading, please make sure there are no Britney Spears crazies in the immediate vicinity, because this news just might send them over the edge.
Tiny narc Ryan Seacrest announced on his radio show that Brit will reunite with ex Justin Timberlake tonight as part of increasingly desperate Madonna's "Sticky and Sweet" concert tour. The beginning of the end of days will take place at LA's Dodger Stadium, where all three singers will come together on stage for some world-class lip-syncing.
For our LA readers: It might be wise to stock up on flashlights and bottled water today.
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Nikki McKibbin, one of the contestants on the very first season of American Idol, is on the road to recovery after a drug and alcohol addiction that she partly blames on judge Simon Cowell. This oughtta be good.
I came out of Idol with a lack of self-confidence. I think I had my first solo in school when I was 5. … I had never been told I wasn't good enough. Having to hear it for so many weeks from Simon Cowell killed me inside. I couldn't get the shit he had said to me out of my head. It drove me deeper into my depression. I wouldn't say that this was Simon's fault. It just added to the addict that I already was.
We were heavily chaperoned, but I would buy vodka and sneak it into the refrigerator on the bottom floor. If I wasn't too exhausted, I'd have one or two drinks.
We feel a bit sorry for her, seeing as how she was on the first season of the show and had no idea how brutal Simon can be — but then we rewatched one of her performances, and we have to agree she has no business singing. Sorry, Nik. (Clip — featuring a baby Seacrest! — after the jump.)
Paris Hilton, the original reality TV queen of bad music, released a new single on Ryan Seacrest's radio show, where bogus artists go to debut their latest travesties. The song, titled "My BFF," is basically another way to hawk her terrible new reality show, which we will be watching only for the good of Reality Bytes (and to warn our dear readers of the monstrosities we will surely face).
Interested in how terrible the new song is? You can listen here or just sample some of the genius lyrics:
Could you be the one I waaaaaant? (My best friend)
Could you be the one I neeeeeed? (My best friend)
All of my life, don't you know I've been waitiiiiiing (For a best friend)
Could you be the one I waaaaaant? (My best friend)
Yep, it's that bad.
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Last night was the first time I sat through Dancing With the Stars, and let me tell you: American Idol it is not. I could watch Ryan Seacrest lead me through that nonsense five nights a week, but I can't imagine watching this ballroom competition on a regular basis for the next few months. The only thing keeping me around is the promise of future husband Lance Bass, who is also being wooed by his partner, So You Think You Can Dance alum Lacey Schwimmer. After dancing the cha cha, she confesses that she once believed Lance would marry her. Pshh, please.
And after the jump, my second favorite contestant, Cloris Leachman. Who knew the 82-year-old would inject some life into this drag of a program? CONTINUED »
Svetlana Pankratova, the woman with the longest legs on earth (4.33 feet), and He Pingping, the world's shortest man (coming in at 2-foot-5), smiled with their eyes today in London for a Guinness Book of Records photoshoot. We heard that Tyra Banks was supposed to help coach the two through the shoot but was asked to leave after she refused to stop talking about that one time when she went undercover as a little person.
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Oh come on, you knew this day was coming. The day where you'd have to tear down all your Ryan Seacrest posters, scribble out his name in your notebooks, and stop planning for the time when you two could own all forms of media, forever and ever amen.
• A video of a video of Amy Winehouse doing drugs. Someone put too much effort into something everyone's seen before. [Yeeeah]
• Christopher Nolan hopes Cher can ruin the Batman franchise. [ICYDK]
• Some people still find Paris Hilton attractive. Why? [HT]
• This is actually quite frightening: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes stand next to each other in identical jeans. [DListed]
• Ryan Seacrest shatters America's dreams of a Britney Spears VMA comeback. [PS]
• The paparazzi are no longer interested in John Mayer. Poor thing — it must be devastating to lose all of your friends. [INO]
America must have passed around some sort of petition saying they wanted their next Rupert Murdoch to have frosted tips and a tiny snub nose, because how else would you explain why Ryan Seacrest is becoming the next media mogul? Sorry, not mogul, "media player," which is what happens when someone like Seacrest decides to split from William Morris and take his agent with him (that's a buy out) to start his own empire.
It's a good year to have a fake job. First, all those Bigfoot researchers are getting some airtime. Then Jon Stewart gets fingered as the most trusted man in news. And now "Outstanding Reality Host" is a category at this year's Emmys. Taking this nonsense a step further, the nominees won't just have their names read off a teleprompter — the five contestants nominees will group-host the primetime ceremony. But as we all know in reality show hosting, one day you're in, the next day, you're out. So who's going to show up for the opening of an envelope and hear her own name called?
TMZ has found a picture of a bare-chested Ryan Seacrest from before he was famous. And yes, of course the online garbage dump used this opportunity to say it's too bad alleged child molester Lou Pearlman didn't get to the young Seacrest.
THE EMMYS JUST LOST ALL STREET CRED "The five nominees for top reality show host are not just up for Emmy awards — they're also going to oversee the entire ceremony! American Idol's Ryan Seacrest, Project Runway's Heidi Klum, Dancing with the Stars' Tom Bergeron, Deal or No Deal's Howie Mandel and Survivor's Jeff Probst have all signed on to co-host the Sept. 21 awards show."
In what is sure to be one of the most groundbreaking interviews of our time, Joel McHale stopped by Late Night with Conan O'Brien to discuss the really important matters, like the Kardashians and the art of Bedazzling. But what really makes Joel awesome is the fact that he isn't afraid to make comments like this about his own network: "E! will walk into a needle exchange and ask someone if they want their own show." (Which, to be fair, is accurate.)
Brody Jenner, all-American toy, has inked a deal with MTV to star in Bromance, a reality series that will follow The Hills monkey as he, and we fucking quote, "auditions a group of dudes to fill his 'bro' vacancy."
Each week, losing contestants will be booted from Bromance's bachelor pad in a "hot tub elimination ceremony," until the ultimate broham has been chosen to fill the spot of Jenner's ex-best broseph, Spencer Pratt.
Of course, twee ponce Ryan Seacrest is producing the massive mistake and laughing all the way to the munchkin bank where he gets his twinkle bucks. Sayeth the American Idol dildo, who doesn't at all enjoy the press speculation about his sexuality: "I can speak from experience — girls can come and go, but a 'bromance' can last forever." Let's hope not.
Apparently it's Joel McHale Day here at Mollygood, and we're OK with that because he trumps the Hogans/Spears/Lohans any day. Joel, who says he sometimes feels like he's "doing the Lord's work," gave an awesome interview with The A.V. Club where he provided many, many gems, chief among them this: "On Flavor Of Love, when a woman took a dump on the stairs, I mean, that's like J.R. being shot on Dallas, or like maybe the last episode of M*A*S*H. It's a milestone on television that's covered with chlamydia."
Seriously, he's our favorite celebrity ever. Click through for lots more. CONTINUED »
My future husband Joel McHale paid a visit to the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson for no apparent reason other than to make me fall in love with him all over again. I'd suggest waiting until the six minute mark, where he provides the most accurate description of Ryan Seacrest I've ever heard. CONTINUED »
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