Yet another remake this way comes. And this time we're more skeptical than ever before, because the film that's getting the makeover is one quite dear to our inner child.

It's another heavy role for Samuel L. Jackson.

Having most recently played a dirty cop in "Lakeview Terrace," Jackson is set to star as a bad guy again in Columbia Pictures' remake of Berry Gordy's 1985 cult classic "The Last Dragon."

Jackson will play Sho'nuff, the Shogun of Harlem, a role played in the original by the late Julius Carry, whose spiel included asking ego-driven questions like "Am I the baddest mofo lowdown around this town?" Each time his gang of thugs answered, "Sho 'nuff!"
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The updated plot will be along the same lines of the original, centering on young martial arts student Leroy Green in his quest through the streets of New York to achieve the highest level of martial arts accomplishment, known as the Last Dragon. Those who achieve the high ranking possess the Glow, making them the greatest fighter alive.

If the plot, as described by a nerdy Yahoo news writer, sounds to you like it's absolutely awful and juvenile, that's because it is. But, like the 80s in general, it's awful and juvenile in the best way possible.

After the jump, a roundup of a few great scenes from the original Dragon.

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WHAT'S BLACK AND WHITE AND NEW? Saw the new movie Lakeview Terrace last night, and I liked it. Too few films have explored the dynamics of interracial relationships, and even less have taken a serious look at interracial relationships between white men and black women. There's also a fire metaphor. Kudos!

Despite the fact that 66 percent of its stars died suddenly and tragically this weekend, Soul Men, starring Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes and Samuel L Jackson, will be released (albeit possibly later than planned).

So last night was the ESPY Awards, and you're looking at the best part of the evening: The Giants won for "Best Upset." Speaking of upset, we're a little concerned that there were more celebrities than athletes in attendance. Sure, you need some famous people to attract attention to the event, but when Trista Sutter is posing on the red carpet next to Terrell Owens, you know things have gotten out of control.

Click through for the pictures and feel free to take note of all the expendable celebrities.

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Last evening, everyone from Samuel L Jackson to Dane Cook (yeesh) turned out for the annual MTV Movie Awards, that glorious time of year when the network transforms itself from being simply a constant commercial for bad pop culture into a vastly more obvious constant commercial for bad pop culture.

Highlights of the evening included very high-minded comedy like a fat guy chasing Sarah Silverman (brilliant!) to Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen kissing (I mean, men kissing—can you believe it?).

The most inexplicable photo grouping of the night must be Chris Tucker, Victoria Beckham and Bruce Willis, whose mere proximity to one another must have led to a completely unnecessary picture. I guess it's up to you to name the star, the has-been and the never-was.

PS Megan Fox, the awe-inducing beauty from Transformers, will be the new "it" girl. I'm calling "it."

There's a lot more pictures after this jump.

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Who is this Japanese girl and what have you done to Christina Ricci? Seriously, how much make-up and Photoshop to achieve these results? Her forehead is about half its normal size! I'm not saying she doesn't look beautiful, but she certainly doesn't look like herself.

Did anyone else see Black Snake Moan? It was kinda shitty. Tighter editing would have gone a long way.I will say that it was one of the first movies I've ever seen—save for really contextual films like Boyz n the Hood—to have almost no redeemable white male characters. So, that was interesting; not necessarily good or bad. It also had great music.

Jessica Biel was spotted arriving to Park City, Utah to spend time with Justin Timberlake at Sundance. While she doesn't have a movie premiering, Timberlake is promoting Black Snake Moan, a film which—in all seriousness—revolves around Samuel L. Jackson keeping Christina Ricci on a leash to prevent her from sexual self-destruction. Hmmmm.

Actress Jessica Biel reportedly flew out to the Sundance Film Festival on Wednesday to spend time with new love interest Justin Timberlake.

…Timberlake's new film, Black Snake Moan, premiered on Wednesday.

The athletic twosome spent the following day snowboarding together, a Biel insider tells Perez.

But what about Timberlake's kooky ex-girlfirend, Cameron Diaz, who had this meltdown at the Golden Globes:

A witness told Us, “First she started saying all these nasty things to him about Jessica like, ‘What is she? Your new fucking girlfriend? Look at her!’ And then she insinuated things about other guys that Jessica has been with.”

Well, I guess Diaz has been in Hawaii, hanging ten with a surfer. However, sources have said she is interested in coming to Sundance to see Justin's new film. "The idea of kidnapping and physically restraining a human being in order to prevent them from having sex with others has become very interesting to me as of late," said Diaz, before crying and shaking uncontrollably.

[Source]

What in the name of anything sacred is this movie? A comedy? A drama? A porn? Anything? Anyone? Ricci's a whore? Samuel L. Jackson chains her up? Did I miss something that makes this trailer make sense? Anyone? Bueller?

I post this video of Samuel L. Jackson on Bill Nye the Science Guy in honor of it officially maybe probably being the last day that we have to endure this Snakes on a Plane marketing ploy to the degree at which I feel a need to gouge my eyes out every time I see that fucked up caduseus. Congrats, SoaP, you figured out how to take advantage of blogs. Sigh, I'm probably the asshole here. Enjoy the movie, I'll be drinking wine alone on my couch.

There, I said it. Watch this video. This is why I think that not only will Snakes On A Plane be a crappy movie, but the buzz is so unbelievably hideously unfunny-self-made-music-video-ly over it won't even get the Six Months Late To The Hype Party kids. The hipster who bought the first Snakes On A Plane t-shirt, last year, already gave it to Goodwill.

You get over 73,000 hits when you search Blogger for Snakes On A Plane. Need I say more? If the people behind this had their wits about them at all, they would have rushed to release this moving a long ime ago, when it was still going to be so-unfunny-it's-HILARIOUS, but releasing a trailer now and the movie August 18th. Too late. Way too late.