• Wait, wouldn't Tom Ford want from his scent the exact opposite kind of attention? [Jossip]

• "Sober partners"? Didn't those used to be called "nags"? [DListed]

• Haven't seen much from this woman lately, but don't fret, she's still a creepy loser. [HT]

• Santana performs with Nickelback, thereby officially tipping the How He'll Be Remembered Scale to "Shitty." [INO]

• Something is washed-up in the state of Denmark. [ICYDK]

• Jessica Simpson's going to try recording a country album. Or, rather, Jessica Simpson's going to try and woo a fan base she has yet to alienate. [Yeeeah]

• Everyone loves Starbucks, even hyperactive children with stunted growth. [CityRag]