In honor of Thanksgiving, Sarah Palin performed one of our favorite traditions, pardoning a turkey. That's great and heartwarming and all, until she conducts a post-pardon interview with turkeys being killed in the background. Fantastic.
Clip after the jump. CONTINUED »
It's sad that at a time when Senator John McCain is doing the admirable thing and going back to his public duties, the tattered remnants of his campaign just can't seem to fade away.
Last week it was the whole Sarah Palin/Martin Eisendstadt hoax, then it was whether or not GOP apologist Bill Lieberman would be able to keep his place in the senate, and now we're into the real meat of the issue: what's going to happen to Joe the Plumber??
Don't worry guys, he's got it covered. Just like we originally guesstimated, Joe is getting his own book deal.
Now that she's done with that whole running for Vice President of the United States thing, Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin is kicking back and relaxing poolside in an XXL T-shirt (guess she had to return all those fancy elitist clothes) and a tabloid in hand. Of course, it's not all fun and games: The Protector Against Russia was in Miami to attend the Republican Governor's Conference. Hard at work!
(Check out the rest of the photos here.)
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Somehow, when Nate Archibald from Gossip Girl can't answer a question correctly about countries and uh, fashion, it somehow comes off adorable and charming. A certain governor from Alaska could have used this video of Chace Crawford answering a Grazia Guy Fashion Quiz as a template for how to field inquiries by Katie Couric.
Michelle Obama's Election Night earrings, white-gold, diamond-encrusted, dangling things that blinded bitter Republicans when the spotlight hit them, reportedly cost the First Lady-elect a cool $11,000.
How is this any better than when Sarah Palin adorned herself in luxurious clothes and jewels? For one, Obama didn't purchase her earrings with donations from Democratic supporters. Nor did she bemoan "rich elitists" for weeks and weeks before buying the accessories.
That said, when will everyone come to their senses and stop spending thousands of dollars on something as stupefyingly useless as jewelry, which has the same root word as joke?
Sarah Palin was on The Today Show yesterday with secretly-roasted Matt Lauer to discuss how annoying it was that Katie Couric asked her about what newspapers she read in Alaska:
To me that was a little bit annoying. Because I'm like, what do you mean, what do I read in Alaska? I read the same things that you guys read in New York. And there in LA and in Washington state. What do you mean what I read up there? But anyway, just– just some annoyance, that certainly I'm sure showed through. And, you know, perhaps that annoyance that showed through would have led some to be annoyed with me watching the interview.
Except, erm, hate to stop ya there Sarah, but we have this thing called YouTube now, and you can see for yourself that's not the question the Couric asked you.
COURIC ON PALIN • "I think she should keep her head down, work really hard and learn about governing."
SHOUT OUT FROM SARAH PALIN, Y'ALL • "Ms. Palin directed most of her media criticism at liberal bloggers, whom she twice called, 'those bloggers in their parents' basement just talkin' garbage.'"
Remember that Simpsons where Marge buys a pink Chanel suit for cheap and then wears it over and over again until it's in tatters? It looks like Sarah Palin is totally living that plot line in an attempt to get everyone to forget about how she spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on luxurious, rich-people garments. Hahahahahahaha!
Whose encyclopedic knowledge of The Simpsons is "absolutely useless" now, Mom?
So the same guy who sold us on the old "Joe the Plumber making out with Kristin Wiig scam" apparently got Fox News and the rest of the country believing his story about Sarah Palin not knowing that Africa was a continent and not a country.
S'crazy, right? Because wouldn't Fox News have people to fact-check this? And yes, Martin Eisenstadt (pictured left next to Joe) says he's a McCain strategist and shares/stole the name of a conservative analyst but didn't the flack over at News Corp bother to Google him or anything? This dude is a total phony.
But it gets weirder.
The persecution of "witches" throughout the African continent continues.
Far worse than Thomas Muthee, Sarah Palin's spiritual adviser who famously ran an old lady from his village in Kenya after deeming her evil, is the story of the "child-witches" of Nigeria. Convinced by insane, stupid, greedy clerics that their children are being possessed wholesale by demons, Nigerian parents have taken to abandoning boys and girls as young as five after torturing them for their sins. The innocents who have survived their attacks now clog the West African nation's refuges.
Sarah Palin's sweet comeuppance continues! After being left as carrion by Fox News, the station that once gently coddled her, the Alaskan governor is trapped in her icy home state with a bunch of gotcha journalists wondering WHAT THE FUCK WENT WRONG!!?!??!?!!
Asked this week if it's true that she didn't know Africa is a continent, not a country, the bumbling, fumbling Palin employed a term used by former opponent Barack Obama – a term with which the GOP once took huge issue – to describe those Republicans who now question her intelligence: "bitter."
God is this ever a pleasure to watch.
DIVIDE AND CONQUER Only three days after the election, the conservatives are doing exactly what we Obama maniacs hoped they would. Rather than taking their loss Tuesday in stride, regrouping and focusing on getting stronger, the right is consuming itself with useless finger-pointing. The Free Republic forum, a major Web destination for conservatives and nationalists, is calling for a boycott of Fox News for being too harsh to Sarah Palin in the wake of the election. Hahahahaha. Rejoice! Machiavelli would be proud.
Now that the election is over and both Tina Fey and Sarah Palin have ended their runs playing the potential future Vice President, what's in the cards for the two women? Both are hilarious — one intentionally, one unintentionally — and both are beautiful and (arguably) talented. So who will stand a better chance for success in life after the presidential election? CONTINUED »
Here it is, your Fox News briefing on just how frighteningly ignorant Republican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin is. Not sure what's scarier, that the middle-aged Palin thought Africa was simply the country where the blacks are, or that, had they won, the Republicans would be denying all this shit. What a rotten world.
LET THE MCCAIN-PALIN INFIGHTING BEGIN!!! "On Wednesday, two top McCain campaign advisers said that the clothing purchases for Ms. Palin and her family were a particular source of outrage for them. As they portrayed it, Ms. Palin had been advised by Nicolle Wallace, a senior McCain aide, that she should buy three new suits for the Republican National Convention in St. Paul in September and three additional suits for the fall campaign. The budget for the clothes was anticipated to be from $20,000 to $25,000, the officials said. Instead, in a public relations debacle undermining Ms. Palin’s image as an everywoman 'hockey mom,' bills came in to the Republican National Committee for about $150,000, including charges of $75,062 at Neiman Marcus and $49,425 at Saks Fifth Avenue. The bills included clothing for Ms. Palin’s family and purchases of shoes, luggage and jewelry, the advisers said."
FEY RETIRES PALIN IMPRESSION; SNL TO BE CRAPPY AGAIN "Tina Fey’s hilarious turn as Sarah Palin put Saturday Night Live on the electoral map like nothing else in recent memory — viewership is up nearly 70 percent this season. But will Fey continue to moonlight as the gorgeous governor, who could be a parody-worthy public figure for years to come? 'I have to retire just because I have to do my day job,' reveals the creator and star of NBC’s 30 Rock (which experienced a 20 percent ratings uptick for its Oct. 30 season premiere). 'I think [Kristen] Wiig would do a really good job.'"
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