The unstable and Peter Pan-like Michael Jackson has once again put himself in a suspicious position, this time moving into a Las Vegas mansion across the street from an elementary school for children 13 and younger. We couldn't make this stuff up.

Casino owner Steve Wynn reportedly put Michael up in attempts to persuade the singer to appear in a Vegas comeback show. Regardless of who selected this property, did nobody think for one second that this might look bad for someone previously accused of child molestation? Nobody?

Most of the parents are concerned, claiming "he can see the kids getting on the school bus from his house." We'd be more concerned about the children actually wandering over to his Neverland-type setup like moths to a flame, but to each his own.

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I foolishly gave my e-mail address to an American Apparel store four years ago and now receive regular correspondence from the company reminding me things like "Summer's Back!" or "School's Here!" In the most recent message, this cluster of lithe bodies at left is described as a "Back to School look." Where these people matriculated I have no idea.

Our favorite character from The Paper (and personal hero), Amanda Lorber, is awesome for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which is her ability to handle herself in a classy way despite stupid high school drama. Unfortunately for Amanda, drama has also followed her in the form of a Columbia University reporter who called her "overbearing and annoying," among other insults. Amanda fired back with the most eloquent e-mail ever written by a 17-year-old.

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According to this statement from the Spice Girls, the Girls' children haven't been attending school during the groups' now defunct, months-long reunion tour. We're unsure of whether that's because the kids been traveling with their mothers or because they're at home where nobody but their absent moms are willing to take them to school, but either way it's a bad excuse for truancy.