We are of the school of thought that any celebrity sex tape made public is usually the doing of said celebrity, and this time is no different: Verne Troyer, also lovingly referred to as Mini Me, has leaked an X-rated video shot with his ex-girlfriend. Kevin Blatt, sex tape distributor to the stars, is peddling the tape for $100,000, which is $100,000 too much.
As a lovely preview of the tape, please direct your attention to the left. And then feel free to throw up your breakfast. (Image has since been removed.)
Let’s face it — unless, due to some warped, wishful thinking, you are convinced that the real R. Kelly is “I Believe I Can Fly” and not “You Remind Me of My Jeep,” or you are just such a die-hard fan that you are completely delusional, most people believe that R. Kelly did indeed film himself having sex with and pissing on his 14-year-old goddaughter, whether they’re in the cut-off-his-balls or the she-was-old-enough-to-know-what-she-wanted camp. You believe this because you saw the tape — which very clearly shows R. Kelly and a sickeningly young girl in an ugly wood-paneled room one might also have seen if one had tuned into his MTV Cribs episode — or because you know that R. Kelly married a 15-year-old Aaliyah, or because you’ve heard about the multiple settlements he’s paid to underage girls who have accused him of sexual misconduct.
The jury saw the same tape many of us did (I was in college; it still makes me queasy to think about it). And, from what they’re saying in post-trial interviews, they saw what everyone else saw. So why the hell did R. Kelly get away with it? There was one little thing. Well, one big thing.
OK, so this is another Hills post. But before you start shaking your fists and cursing my name, let me state for the record that I truly feel in my heart this is worthy of a posting, if only for the pure enjoyment of watching David Letterman make fun of Spencer Pratt for six minutes. To make matters worse, Dave gets so annoyed by Spencer that he resorts to visiting Heidi in the green room, where the interview grows 10 times more awkward than previously imagined. By the end of it all, I'm still left wondering: With The Hills on hiatus and no LC sex tape rumor to promote, what the hell was Spencer doing on Letterman in the first place? CONTINUED »
R. Kelly’s tell-tale mole has been found, the tape has been verified, the young girl has been identified by friends and family, and the prosecution in R. Kelly’s child pornography trial has rested its case. Yesterday, 27-year-old Lisa Van Allen testified that she had multiple three-way encounters with Kelly and the victim when the victim was underage.
R Kelly's defense team in his child pornography trial hit a dark patch on Thursday—literally.
Although lawyers for Kelly had claimed that a mole the singer has on his back was not shared by the man from the sex tape on which this trial is based, prosecutors yesterday used advanced digital imaging to prove that, indeed, the man from the tape has the exact same mole. Uh oh!
Kelly and his attorneys looked grim and dejected during the expert's testimony, while prosecutors looked pleased, appearing to smile as they sat at their courtroom table.
R Kelly's next hit: "Trapped in the Jail Cell (and Getting My Teeth Kicked In)"
SEX TAPES, DRUGS AND R&B "Ray J was tossed out on his behind early Saturday morning from the Hyatt Regency in D.C., because Brandy's bro allegedly had a stash of marijuana and a drug called 'Boat' (a club drug). … Our sources say the singer tried to bribe hotel security so he could stay but they didn't bite."
You didn't think we had forgotten about the weekly advice dished out by Spencer Pratt, did you? America's favorite d-bag is back, and this time he's advising a gay man on how to manipulate and humiliate his straight friends. Spencer dispenses a golden nugget of wisdom in which he points out that, without evidence, you have no case. So that whole thing where you and Heidi went on every talk show imaginable and declared that there really was an LC sex tape but no proof — what was that about?
It's called taking your own advice. Try it.
The series premiere of Living Lohan debuts next week, but to hold you over, here's a clip from an upcoming episode in which Dina berates the press for not having proper boundaries while allowing her 14-year-old daughter to look at pictures from Lindsay's possible sex tape. CONTINUED »
Heidi Montag is back this week with an appearance on Ellen, and it's the same stuff she's been saying on every talk show — Lauren Conrad is evil, Heidi didn't start the sex tape rumor, she's praying for LC, etc. But the interesting thing about this clip is how she has taken to talking just like Spencer Pratt — it's disturbing, but not nearly as bad as her hollow claims that she has lots of friends (like her sister).
Full video after the jump. CONTINUED »
We call bullshit on the Jimi Hendrix sex tape. Though the man in the movie does bear a resemblance to Hendrix, it's not uncanny (where are the acne scars?) and before jumping to conclusions it would serve people well to remember that porn has a long history of adapting things to fit its purposes. Duh: Throbbin' Hood?
Heidi Montag continues to inspire pure hatred in my soul, and this time she's doing it on the worst daytime talk show in the history of television: The Tyra Banks Show. She and Spencer Pratt are still talking about the Lauren Conrad sex tape rumor — which is interesting, seeing as how she constantly insists that she's the bigger person and she's "praying" for LC. Also: She continues to rewrite history by claiming Lauren gave her an ultimatum simply because she didn't like Spencer. Um, Heidi? The reason she's not your friend is because of what you went on this show to talk about in the first place. I can't decide if she really believes what she spews out of that horse mouth of hers or if this is all part of her genius plan to drive me to insanity.
After the jump: Video of the entire Speidi-Tyra experience. Enter at your own risk. CONTINUED »
In what will truly be the worst hour in the history of television, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are set to appear on Tuesday's episode of The Tyra Banks Show. And, because they don't know how to discuss anything else, the topic of conversation is Lauren Conrad.
Spencer offers to take a lie detector test and claims he is "1,000 percent" positive that a sex tape featuring Lauren and ex-boyfriend Jason Wahler exists. Did we suddenly travel back in time to one year ago? Who cares? Of course, neither Spencer nor Heidi has actually seen the tape, because Spencer claims he "would rather throw up." Oh, please. You know Speidi would be watching that on repeat if, in fact, it did exist. Those two are so obsessed with her it's pathetic.
Heidi agrees, saying the tape was not a rumor: "From what I have heard from confirmed sources … her ex-boyfriend was going around trying to sell it. … I am not sure she has it anymore, but from what I've heard … I am not really allowed to elaborate." And she wonders why Lauren refuses to give her the time of day.
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ROYAL SEX TAPE? "Two blackmailers demanded £50,000 from a member of the Royal Family for tapes claiming he performed a gay sex act on an aide, it was claimed yesterday. The tapes also featured claims the alleged victim - who cannot be named - was guilty of dodgy business dealings and complained of another royal exposing himself to him, the Old Bailey heard."
Marilyn Monroe and Paris Hilton just got even more similar. Besides drugs, alcohol and hidden pain, America's two most famous blonds are said to share another burden: sex tapes. Yes, a recently uncovered movie allegedly showing Monroe giving oral sex to an unidentified male has sold to an anonymous New York businessman for $1.5 million, a hefty fee considering it's not even the original film but a duplicate slyly obtained by a Monroe documentarian some years ago. The original reel remains in the possession of the US government. In the 60s, the rabid J Edgar Hoover attempted in vain to prove that the man in the video with Monroe was either John F Kennedy or Robert F Kennedy, men slightly more accomplished than Internet casino baron Rick Salomon, Hilton's sex tape partner.
The New Yorker who acquired the copy says he is going to keep it under lock and key out of respect for Monroe.
The Kardashians took some time off from spamming our comments section to speak to Larry King, because we're sure his audience would love their show. Larry can barely hide his hatred for the famewhoring family as he stumbles over what's written on his cue cards and tries to figure out the appeal of these horrid people. Oh, and Kim is described as the one who "posed for Playboy," presumably because "has a butt that rivals J.Lo's" and "made a sex tape" were too inappropriate for CNN.
Kristin Davis, the Sex and the City actress responsible for kicking off this week's sex tape/photo scandals, is still denying it's her in the pictures that have been making the rounds on the Internet. At this point she's the only one who thinks it isn't her in the photos, because we all have eyes.
But the biggest mystery involves the anonymous man also starring in the pictures — and why they are just now being released (besides, of course, to drum up publicity for the SATC movie). Page Six has identified the man as Eric Stapleman, a Santa Fe "no-scent" restaurant owner. Which kind of automatically makes him a tool.
Stapleman is claiming he gave the photos to a friend because he was mad at Kristin. Naturally. Then someone stole the shots from said friend, and voila! Instant publicity for a middle-aged has-been.
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Well, it was fun while it lasted: Someone who evidently spends too much time watching porn online has determined the leaked photo of Lindsay Lohan doing Calum Best a "favor" is a fake. The girl in the photo, as it turns out, is not LiLo. Which should come as no surprise, as the picture could have been of anybody with hair.
The proof, of course, comes from a video posted on XTube that was filmed two months ago. Apparently there are two other clips that show the girl's face and it's definitely not Linds (says the porn watcher).
…We need a shower.
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It wasn't if but when. An extremely blurry photograph taken of an extremely blurry video has message boards abuzz. Why? Because, if sources are to be believed, the picture is a screen grab of Lindsay Lohan's sex tape. The movie, purportedly filmed by Lohan's ex-leech Calum Best, was stolen and is now being shopped around for profit. See the image here. Related: The world is worse than it's ever been.
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