For the last few idiots left who look to Lynne Spears for parenting advice, consider this: The woman just leaked some of the "shocking" revelations from her new tell-all disguised as a celebrity parenting how-to in an effort to garner some publicity. The revelations include stories about Britney's sex life and drug and alcohol abuse, which would be surprising if the wise Road Kill Willie hadn't already spilled the beans.

Apparently Lynne claims that Britney began drinking alcohol at the age of 13, when she joined the Mickey Mouse Club. By 14, she had lost her virginity to an 18-year-old football player from her hometown, and by 15 she was taking drugs. Lynne details "the horror when Britney, just 16, was caught with cocaine and cannabis on a private jet." While Brit was the same age, Lynne allowed her to sleep with then-boyfriend Justin Timberlake because "Lynne thought Britney was in love and Justin was good for her."

So lessons learned? Lynne says she "regrets handing over control of Britney’s career to managers and allowing her daughter to be promoted as a sex object in raunchy videos at such a young age," which is basically saying, "I'm sorry those other people screwed up." Sounds like Mother of the Year to us.

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Here we go again with the didn't-need-to-know teenager news; this time the speculation surrounds Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe and the loss of his virginity. In the upcoming October issues of Details, Daniel reveals that he lost his virginity at age 16 to someone much older than him. And instead of leaving it at that, Us Weekly had to go digging.

Though Radcliffe doesn't name-drop, a source says in the new issue of Us Weekly the ex is Amy Byrne, an assistant hairdresser who was 23 when they met on the set of 2005's Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. His rep had no comment.

Great work, Us! Hope you feel better now that you have uncovered all the icky details of a teenager's sex life.

Whoops! Now that everyone knows vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin's 17-year-old, unwed daughter, Bristol, is pregnant, will the Alaskan governor rethink her support of antiquated, absurd abstinence-only education? Probably not, because she seems a little [twirls right index finger next to right temple], but that's where you come in, voter. Don't let this little glimpse of blind, reckless idealism escape you come November.

"He was really weird with her," said [Richie Rich] … "He kept leering at her and saying, "I want to fuck you!"

Axl is 46, Kelly: 24.

If you ever wondered how Matthew McConaughey got to be so crazy, may we present Exhibition No. 1: His mother, Kay. The lovely Kay has many great stories to share — did you hear the one about her husband's death?

On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love. But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing. But it was just the best way to go! [He was taken from the house naked because] I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift.

That's one of those stories we would never want to hear our mother tell. TMI, Kay. TMI.

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• Christina Aguilera's new perfume ad inspires us to vomit. [Yeeeah]

• As of right now Amy Winehouse is back in rehab. Not sure how long that's going to last, but the facility is right next to Blake Incarcerated, which sounds like a bad idea. [INO]

• When Ellen DeGeneres blogs, we listen. [PS]

• Jon Voight has some harsh words for Roseanne. [DListed]

• Heidi Montag is now claiming she's a virgin. Uh, did she forget all those interviews she gave talking about having sex with Spencer — and the infamous Season 2 pregnancy test? [ICYDK]

• The Real World: Brooklyn reportedly sucks, and it hasn't even finished filming yet. We could have told you that. [CityRag]

SPEARS REGAINS SANITY? "Britney Spears … has been celibate for the last 7 months but she doesn't care because she is out to find true love. Britney's previous outrageous sexual behavior could have been due to her bipolar disorder … 'With bipolar, you become hypersexual,' Dr. Drew Pinsky tells In Touch. 'Before Britney began treatment, sleeping around with different men could have been the result of the manic state she was in.' 'I am seeing the results of good psychiatry and good parenting,' Dr. Pinksy adds."

This has caught me quite a bit of flack from my friends, but I thoroughly enjoy watching Dateline's To Catch a Predator. There, I said it. Sure, the show crosses the line occasionally, and there's nothing funny about sexual predators, but something about the show just makes me laugh hysterically at times. Thanks to my recent discovery of the top 10 best moments from the show, I have reconnected with my favorite predator, SpecialGuy29, who "just came to get something to eat" — at the same McDonald's where he arranged a meeting with a 13-year-old. Oh, boy.

Nerve.com, the "literate smut" site, has put together a list of the 50 sexiest music videos of all time. It's very thorough and generally right – our jam, "That's the Way Love Goes," is at 31 – but our 11-year-old self takes issue with the omission of "Hot for Teacher."

Go here to see if your favorite is listed, and then use the comments section to complain about the top pick (which is questionable at best).

We love weddings! We're going to one this weekend and we are going to cry and cry (because we love to cry, too!). But y'know who hates marriage? TV. That heartless institution thinks married couples are boring prudes, a sentiment it expresses by making sex scenes between married couples as bland as hell, if even present at all.

Marital sex on TV is "nonexistent or burdensome."

Single and extramarital sex is "glamorous" and "exciting."

That's according to the Parents Television Council, which released a study Tuesday on how sex is portrayed in broadcast primetime.

It also says those portrayals are wrong, very wrong, if not downright inaccurate.

"Everybody is having sex on TV except for married couples," PTC president Tim Winter said.

According to the study titled "Happily Never After," scenes on the major networks depicting or implying sex between nonmarried partners outnumbered similar scenes between married couples by a ratio of nearly 4-to-1. References to adultery outnumbered references to marital sex 2-to-1.

Can you believe it? A stereotype on TV, broadcast as if it were true!

The furor surrounding R. Kelly’s trial and subsequent acquittal has died down, and, although one might have hoped that R. Kelly wouldn’t be seen or heard from for a long time, that’s not the case. He’s back with a bunch of leaked tracks and a new upcoming album, 12 Play: 4th Quarter. MTV describes some of the tracks for us, and they are singularly about sex, of course. (Song titles include "Wanna Make a Baby?" and "Might Be Mine.")

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If you're a condom maker and searching for the next big celebrity to endorse your product, you might have problems if 15-year-old Miley Cyrus is the first person to come to mind. Unfortunately, the geniuses behind LifeStyles condoms are all destined to make appearances on To Catch a Predator, because Miley is exactly the spokesperson they're targeting. Says Lifestyles' VP of marketing:

Pop culture proves that teens are more ready than ever to disuss the subject of sex. With recent reports showing that one out of four teenage girls has an STD and the high level of teenage pregnancy, we believe that Miley is both influential and relatable to this afflicted set — and is the obvious choice to get the message of safe sex out to teens across America.

And just to sweeten the deal, the tween pop star — who claims to be waiting for marriage — will receive a lifetime supply of condoms for "whenever she decides the time is right." Well, who can turn that down?

[Source]

There are some things we never want to hear, and discussion of Brooke Hogan's sex life qualifies as one of them. The desperate reality star tries to "coyly" avoid the topic of whether or not she's a virgin but quickly surrenders, leading us to believe that Brooke has a death wish. You know Hulk is going to be out for blood.

Though most people obsessed with Marilyn Monroe do their best to forget that she was a drug-addled, insecure mess who many powerful men took advantage of, Lindsay Lohan, Monroe's nakedest young fan, uses her new leggings line to give a refreshingly realistic nod to the original blond bombshell. At left is the "Mr President" style, which features built-in kneepads.

Flavor Flav, telling us yet another sex-related factoid we didn't want to know today:

I lost my virginity in the bushes on a box. … I’m a tell you the truth; I lost my virginity when I was 6 years old. Yea, man. Because you know we learned to have done the nasty back in the days, and me and this girl we experiment, we were experimenting, and my little joint got hard, I penetrated for about a few seconds.

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Gag gift of a person Victoria Beckham has admitted to dating 80s movie star Corey Haim way back in 1995, before he was selling his teeth and before she was unsalvageable. But, the Spice Girl says she did not have sexual relations with that teen heartthrob.

‘We didn’t have sex or anything,’ she recalls. ‘In actual fact, he didn’t seem to want to try. The most we did was kiss.’

But Posh – who’s now married to David Beckham, 33, – says she wasn’t bothered.

‘Looking back it’s hard to work out whether I really fancied him or if I was just a bit of a sad fan,' she tells OK!

Now, everyone knows correlation does not equal causation, but we'd like to point out that Haim developed a nasty meth habit after dating Beckham. Just saying.

WHEN LOVEMAKING GETS IN THE WAY OF MASS MURDER "Lawyers who sued the makers of the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas profess to be shocked, simply shocked, that few people who bought the game were offended by sex scenes buried in its software. Any buyer upset about hidden sex in the violent game could file a claim under a settlement the lawyers struck with the game’s makers, Rockstar Games and its corporate parent, Take-Two Interactive. Of the millions of people who bought the San Andreas version after its release in 2004, exactly 2,676 filed claims."

In a new tell-all book about Hugh Hefner, author Steven Watts drops some shocking bombshells about Mr. Playboy's life: He's had foursomes! Within his family! And he's had a homosexual experience! We need to sit down, because we can't handle all these scandalous accusations. All this time we thought Hef was busy being an altar boy at church. The most "shocking" of Watts' writing after the jump.

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