• Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox holding hands. Who didn't see that coming? [PS]
• Eva Mendes has had sex in all 50 states. Yay, America! [Yeeeah]
• Anne Hathaway secretly smokes, according to a random source. Wow, HUGE scandal. [INO]
• A lovely definition of The Shocker. [CityRag]
• Gwyneth Paltrow insists she can't diet, and it was really challenging to lose the extra 20 pregnancy pounds. Poor thing. [DListed]
• Lance Bass is considering adoption. What a lucky child. [ICYDK]
[Source]
This movie poster, for Kevin Smith's October release Zack and Miri Make a Porno, was deemed inappropriate by the MPAA, which doesn't just hate BitTorrent users but also regulates all movie advertising in exchange for slapping letters like "PG" and "R" on movies to keep kids safe. Because the poster, like those fake Puma ads, insinuated oral sex, they were not cleared for use by Hollywood's regulatory body. (This, after the MPAA agreed to downgrade the movie's rating from NC-17 to R.) So Kevin Smith went back to the drawing board, and came up with this safer, family-friendly version:
Howard Stern is helping a 22-year-old San Diego woman, who goes by the alias "Natalie Dylan," auction off her viriginity. Natalie says she will not necessarily sell herself to the highest bidder: "I want someone with chemistry. We'll take bids until I find a suitor I'm happy with." But why is she doing it in the first place? To pay for her college education, of course.
According to Dylan, she and her sister were forced into the skin trade partly because their stepfather allegedly took out student loans in their names without their permission, leaving them unable to finance their education.
She says she's already earned her bachelor's degree in women's studies at Sacramento State and that in January she'll start her master's work in marriage and family therapy there. She hopes to get a doctorate.
Look, we get that it's tough for some people to make enough money to educate themselves, but something about this whole story just feels really, really wrong.
Photo of Miss Dylan, after the jump. CONTINUED »
Despite the fact that most Americans have no idea who he is, Russell Brand was a great host for the MTV VMAs because he got people talking. True, it was at the expense of the Jonas Brothers, but that's OK because Brand kinda sorta apologized but not really:
I feel a bit bad that I kept talking about their vows to chastity, and I’d like to take this opportunity to say: No one ever have sex again. It’s a mad idea. What a crazy way to spend an evening.
Other post-show gems include his theory that Lil Wayne is from another world and "he has a message for us all." Perhaps that message has something to do with pants.
[Source]
All those rumors about Lynne Spears' parenting book, Through the Storm, detailing Britney's sex life and drug use turned out to be false. Obviously. Lynne knows not to bite the hand that feeds her. But Britney, in a rare moment of wisdom, has still cut off contact with her mother:
While the book doesn't dish on Britney's sex life or drug use, it blames all of Britney's problems on her daughter's former managers. Spears — who already considered her mother a siphon on her purse — is 'upset' about the book, spies said, especially when she feels Lynne herself caused so many of her problems and issues.
We'd have to agree with Brit on this one; while we'd normally get onto her for not accepting part of the blame, it's not really a 14-year-old girl's responsibility to make sure her mother isn't whoring her out. And we applaud her for recognizing that Lynne is still doing just that.
[Source]
Besides knowing that the world is an increasingly depressing place, if you watched the Video Music Awards last night, you know they briefly morphed from a tedious insult to America's intelligence into an impromptu back-and-forth about premarital sex.
After host Russell Brand mocked young, Christian superstars the Jonas Brothers for their "purity rings," signs of their virginity, American Idol winner Jordin Sparks interrupted her scripted appearance to mew that some people wear promise rings because they don't want to be "a slut." (Because it's one or the other, apparently.)
Brand used some of his next screen time to apologize for his earlier remarks, saying, "I don't want to piss off teenage fans… Promise rings, I'm well up for it."
After the jump, Sparks' little tirade; watch John Legend's face.
CONTINUED »
Todd Palin's former business partner has filed an emergency motion to have his divorce records sealed. Our best guess is that this means there is at least some truth to the National Enquirer story that Todd's wife, ultra-moral Republican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin, cheated on him with this ex-associate. To quote a friend, "If this were a movie, it would be a bad one."
For the last few idiots left who look to Lynne Spears for parenting advice, consider this: The woman just leaked some of the "shocking" revelations from her new tell-all disguised as a celebrity parenting how-to in an effort to garner some publicity. The revelations include stories about Britney's sex life and drug and alcohol abuse, which would be surprising if the wise Road Kill Willie hadn't already spilled the beans.
Apparently Lynne claims that Britney began drinking alcohol at the age of 13, when she joined the Mickey Mouse Club. By 14, she had lost her virginity to an 18-year-old football player from her hometown, and by 15 she was taking drugs. Lynne details "the horror when Britney, just 16, was caught with cocaine and cannabis on a private jet." While Brit was the same age, Lynne allowed her to sleep with then-boyfriend Justin Timberlake because "Lynne thought Britney was in love and Justin was good for her."
So lessons learned? Lynne says she "regrets handing over control of Britney’s career to managers and allowing her daughter to be promoted as a sex object in raunchy videos at such a young age," which is basically saying, "I'm sorry those other people screwed up." Sounds like Mother of the Year to us.
[Source]
Here we go again with the didn't-need-to-know teenager news; this time the speculation surrounds Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe and the loss of his virginity. In the upcoming October issues of Details, Daniel reveals that he lost his virginity at age 16 to someone much older than him. And instead of leaving it at that, Us Weekly had to go digging.
Though Radcliffe doesn't name-drop, a source says in the new issue of Us Weekly the ex is Amy Byrne, an assistant hairdresser who was 23 when they met on the set of 2005's Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. His rep had no comment.
Great work, Us! Hope you feel better now that you have uncovered all the icky details of a teenager's sex life.
Whoops! Now that everyone knows vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin's 17-year-old, unwed daughter, Bristol, is pregnant, will the Alaskan governor rethink her support of antiquated, absurd abstinence-only education? Probably not, because she seems a little [twirls right index finger next to right temple], but that's where you come in, voter. Don't let this little glimpse of blind, reckless idealism escape you come November.
"He was really weird with her," said [Richie Rich] … "He kept leering at her and saying, "I want to fuck you!"
Axl is 46, Kelly: 24.
If you ever wondered how Matthew McConaughey got to be so crazy, may we present Exhibition No. 1: His mother, Kay. The lovely Kay has many great stories to share — did you hear the one about her husband's death?
On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love. But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing. But it was just the best way to go! [He was taken from the house naked because] I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift.
That's one of those stories we would never want to hear our mother tell. TMI, Kay. TMI.
[Source]
• Christina Aguilera's new perfume ad inspires us to vomit. [Yeeeah]
• As of right now Amy Winehouse is back in rehab. Not sure how long that's going to last, but the facility is right next to Blake Incarcerated, which sounds like a bad idea. [INO]
• When Ellen DeGeneres blogs, we listen. [PS]
• Jon Voight has some harsh words for Roseanne. [DListed]
• Heidi Montag is now claiming she's a virgin. Uh, did she forget all those interviews she gave talking about having sex with Spencer — and the infamous Season 2 pregnancy test? [ICYDK]
• The Real World: Brooklyn reportedly sucks, and it hasn't even finished filming yet. We could have told you that. [CityRag]
SPEARS REGAINS SANITY? "Britney Spears … has been celibate for the last 7 months but she doesn't care because she is out to find true love. Britney's previous outrageous sexual behavior could have been due to her bipolar disorder … 'With bipolar, you become hypersexual,' Dr. Drew Pinsky tells In Touch. 'Before Britney began treatment, sleeping around with different men could have been the result of the manic state she was in.' 'I am seeing the results of good psychiatry and good parenting,' Dr. Pinksy adds."
This has caught me quite a bit of flack from my friends, but I thoroughly enjoy watching Dateline's To Catch a Predator. There, I said it. Sure, the show crosses the line occasionally, and there's nothing funny about sexual predators, but something about the show just makes me laugh hysterically at times. Thanks to my recent discovery of the top 10 best moments from the show, I have reconnected with my favorite predator, SpecialGuy29, who "just came to get something to eat" — at the same McDonald's where he arranged a meeting with a 13-year-old. Oh, boy.
Nerve.com, the "literate smut" site, has put together a list of the 50 sexiest music videos of all time. It's very thorough and generally right – our jam, "That's the Way Love Goes," is at 31 – but our 11-year-old self takes issue with the omission of "Hot for Teacher."
Go here to see if your favorite is listed, and then use the comments section to complain about the top pick (which is questionable at best).
We love weddings! We're going to one this weekend and we are going to cry and cry (because we love to cry, too!). But y'know who hates marriage? TV. That heartless institution thinks married couples are boring prudes, a sentiment it expresses by making sex scenes between married couples as bland as hell, if even present at all.
Marital sex on TV is "nonexistent or burdensome."
Single and extramarital sex is "glamorous" and "exciting."
That's according to the Parents Television Council, which released a study Tuesday on how sex is portrayed in broadcast primetime.
It also says those portrayals are wrong, very wrong, if not downright inaccurate.
"Everybody is having sex on TV except for married couples," PTC president Tim Winter said.
According to the study titled "Happily Never After," scenes on the major networks depicting or implying sex between nonmarried partners outnumbered similar scenes between married couples by a ratio of nearly 4-to-1. References to adultery outnumbered references to marital sex 2-to-1.
Can you believe it? A stereotype on TV, broadcast as if it were true!
The furor surrounding R. Kelly’s trial and subsequent acquittal has died down, and, although one might have hoped that R. Kelly wouldn’t be seen or heard from for a long time, that’s not the case. He’s back with a bunch of leaked tracks and a new upcoming album, 12 Play: 4th Quarter. MTV describes some of the tracks for us, and they are singularly about sex, of course. (Song titles include "Wanna Make a Baby?" and "Might Be Mine.")
Editor
