• Does she want to turn suitors off? Are these the chastity belt of the 21st century? [DListed]
• How does Jay sleep next to those Little Shop of Horrors locks? What's the shower drain look like? Yuck. [CityRag]
• According to Shanna Moakler, this is Paris Hilton's phone number and e-mail address. Send her my best! [Yeeeah]
• "She's wigging out!" or "She bangs!" [ICYDK]
• Jewel shows her gems. [HT]
• Wanna work for that sweetheart Diddy? [INO]
Some amazing egghead hacked into Lindsay Lohan's MySpace, and he's unleashed his findings on the world. Among some bland minutia like party invites from Shanna Barker (nee Moakler), there are unintentionally hilarious message wars in which Lohan attacks Paris Hilton, calling her a "cunt" and dubbing her friend Perez Hilton a "fat fuck." Another great moment comes when ex-Paris bf Stavros Niarchos asks of Lindsay, essentially, "Why you gotta play me like that?" Her response: "fu." Oh the wit!
Also hilarious are all the liberties with the English language the messages take. Though the one most worth noting has to be Paris' use of the fake word "broughten" (that's not a typo, babe).
Whoever this hacker is, he should know that while what he has done is funny, it's also illegal. I hope he expects to be broughten up on charges.
[Source]
FOX has already offered the Beckhams a one-way ticket to Divorceizona. They want to give the couple a reality show, scrutinizing their every movement and invading their most personal moments. The reality show route has worked out very well for Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline and Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler, so why not?
That's right, it appears Beckham-mania is about to reach a whole new level. As part of the "commercial opportunities" used to pay out David Beckham part of the estimated $250 million he will earn during his five year stint with the Los Angeles Galaxy, the Beckhams look set to make their foray into the great American past-time: reality television.
The Sun and People report Fox has offered David and Victoria Beckham their own cinéma vérité style television show once the couple touches down for good in California.
“At the moment neither David nor Victoria are majorly famous in the States, but starring in their own show on one of America’s biggest channels would catapult them to instant stardom,” a source told People.
Fox already houses the most popular American reality television show: American Idol. That show is produced by Simon Fuller, who also manages the David Beckham commercial circus. Fox, meantime, also has a MLS link: Fox Soccer Channel is under a $20 million contract to televise MLS and U.S. Soccer games.
It's begun. Prepare yourself for a full scale takeover by 2010. I estimate that, by then, we'll all be having high tea, using long As in words like "path" and "class" and worshiping royal figureheads. God save the Beckhams!
PS How creepy and metaphorical are these pictures of the couple draped in the American flag being welcomed by Bush? The answer: very.
[Source]
• The year's ten worst moments in singing/dancing-induced eye/ear bleeding. [BWE]
• How did I miss this? Amy Poehler topless sunbathing. Somewhere, Britney's Vagina is laughing. [Egotastic]
• Nicole Richie only wears shoes when she's high. [X17]
• Kids, don't get on the motorcycle with Santa, no matter how many times he tells you it's the modern version of the sleigh. [Junkiness]
• Yeah, I'm pretty sure The Boss could get Nick Lachey to swing by the ol' compound and say hi to his daughter. Lachey's famous and all, but I think he's got that kind of time on his hands. [PopSugar]
• Uh, does Shanna Moakler know about this? MISS USSAAA GIRRLLFFIIIGGHHHTTTTT. [IDLYITW]
• Did you get Lindsay Lohan's Christmas Letter? It's like the one my grandmother used to send out, but with slightly fewer misspellings and a little more crazy. [Gilded Moose]
• The elves has escaped! Now who will make the presents? [CityRag]
Shanna Moakler (ex-wife of Travis Barker) really hammed it up with her un-wedding cake at her divorce party in Vegas last night. Because nothing says lets keep this civil for the kids' sake at least like a wielding a giant knife.
P.S. It was pretty funny in her latest MySpace rant against Travis when she called Paris Hilton a "drug obsessed clown."
• I may have to reinstate my Brad Pitt Wall. [CityRag]
• Allllbaaaa, touching faux-Alllllbaaaaaa. Reaching out, touching herself, touch yourself. [Egotastic]
• Shanna Moakler throws herself a Happy Divorce party. Travis Barker responds by yelling on MySpace. Middle School is awesome. [DListed]
• Justin has some suggestions on how to bring middle-aged sexyback: sexy vacations. [PopSugar]
• Someone fire her. [BWE]
• Katharine McPhee is totally there for Nicole Richie, and it in no way is an attempt to become more famous. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Ben Affleck knows it's best to leave the tights to his wife. [Junkiness]
• Rihanna auditions for a job at Spearmint Rhino. [Hollywood Tuna]
• The sad thing is, Michael Jackson is probably better at walking in heels than I am. [DListed]
• Jennifer Aniston told Oprah that she's still seeing Vince Vaughn, but to be hush hush about it, lest her husband Brad Pitt finds out.
• Shut up, Shanna Moakler, we all liked you better when you were just hitting Paris and keeping your mouth shut. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Mary Kate feels left out of the unattractive boyfriend trend, finds herself a French one. [Splash]
• Wanna feel uncomfortable? Check out Howard Stern make this woman cry while talking about her naked parties. [Egotastic]
• Natalie Portman may be shaking up with a billionaire (and no, it's not one of the YouTube nerds, thank god). [Junkiness]
• Kate Moss! Kate Moss! Kate Moss! [PopSugar]
• Stay off the roads in Pune, just a word to the wise. [Celebitchy]
So rarely do we have an honest to god catfight amongst these ladies who so often claim to be fueding, but last night a lucky few bore witness to what sounds like an awe-inspiring event: Shanna Moakler, the ex-wife of Travis Barker, attacked Paris Hilton. Paris, seen on the side here making out with Barker in early September, has been spending time with Moakler's ex, including a recent rendezvous in Amsterdam. TMZ reports:
TMZ has learned that Paris Hilton and Shanna Moakler have both filed police reports early Wednesday morning, alleging each attacked the other. Paris says Moakler socked her in the jaw. Moakler claims Paris' ex shoved her down some stairs.
Elliot Mintz, Paris' publicist, tells TMZ that his client was at Hyde nightclub Wednesday night and at approximately 1:10 a.m. she says she was approached by Shanna, who allegedly began screaming obscenities at her. Hilton says at that point Moakler struck her in the jaw with a closed fist as she continued to shout profanities. Mintz says Moakler was restrained and several people helped Paris exit Hyde. Mintz says Hilton never touched Moakler.
Mintz and Hilton then went to the LAPD's Hollywood Division where she filed a police report, alleging battery.
We're told Moakler also went to the station to file a report against Paris' companion that evening, Stavros Niarchos, alleging that he poured a drink over her head. A source tells TMZ that Moakler alleges that Niarchos shoved her down some stairs.
We're told police took photos of both women at the station, though it's unclear if either showed visible signs of injury.
Mintz told TMZ, "I would encourage Paris, with the consent of her attorney, to seek a restraining order against Moakler to prevent any escalation of this irrational and dangerous behavior."
Unfortunately, it appears that Paris did not have any hair extensions at the time of the brawl. That could have made for some serious high comedy. I can't wait for all the developments in this season of Bitchfighting with the Stars.
Update: Here is a video of Elliot Mintz (Paris' handler type person) explaining Paris' side.
• Get off their lawn, kids. [JustJared]
• Listen guys, Travis Barker really didn't want to have to tell everyone in the wolrd this, but he was totally forced, and, well, Shanna is a lying cheating whorebag. Oh, and a horrible mother. [US Weekly]
• Nick Lachey thinks people's fascination with his life is "surreal," ya know, cause it's not like he had anything to do with the public knowing what goes on with his everyday shit. [A Socialite's Life]
• Victoria Beckham might be pregnant again, meaning she may double her body weight in the next eight months. [DListed]
• Waiting a year to have sex is important to Alicia Keys, especially when, after all that time, she still refers to it as being "violated." [WWTDD]
• Little did you know that Cory Haim barters using only punches in the mouth these days. [Junkiness]
• Nicole Richie carried around that prop pizza all day, and apparently it left her with little time to fix that camel toe situation. [BWE]
• No more weddings, Pam and Kid are settling down in Malibu. Which is good, because I'm not sure Pam would be let on a plane with those things these days. [Teddy & Moo]
Editor
