Hollywood never ceases to amaze us with the industry's routine absurdity, and this week is no different: In its latest issue, Us Weekly reveals that some of the new 90210 actresses are too thin. But, let's be serious here, there's no way these girls were cast for their acting abilities — the producers obviously picked who would best represent the young and beautiful. The show's leading lady (besides Lucille Bluth, of course), Shenae Grimes, is 5-foot-3 and comes in at an astonishing 90 pounds; co-star Jessica Stroup is 5-foot-8 and 100 pounds. Apparently this is alarming (you think?), so the show's producers and stars are "poised to take action," whatever that means.

Hey, remember the days when the beautiful 90210 girls actually weighed more than a feather? Poor Brenda Walsh would be shunned for being "the fat girl" if she were part of today's high school crew.

I'll admit that I never watched the original 90210 (I know, I know), so the revelation of the father of Kelly's baby really didn't provide much suspense for me. I do, however, know that the original characters are the only reason this new version of the show is mildly popular, and the rest of you are likely on the edge of your computer chairs in anticipation. For the answer, watch the end of the provided clip. (Spoiler alert, obviously.)

Sad news for 90210 fans: Shannon Doherty announced that her character, Brenda Walsh, only filmed four episodes and is unable to stick around for more due to other projects. Um, Shannon? We're not the actors here, but it's probably wise to stick with what works, and Brenda Walsh will always work. This TV pilot you're working on will either a) not get picked up or b) get the axe after one season. If you don't believe us, the series is titled The Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon. That says enough.

To see how she did on the pilot episode of the new 90210, watch at left.

Rejoice, Peach Pit purists!

Multiple sources confirm to me exclusively that [Shannon] Doherty is currently engaged in formal talks to — wait for it, wait for it — reprise her role of Brenda Walsh on The CW's breathlessly anticipated 90210 update!
…
… the producers behind el nuevo 90210 recently met with the tempestuous tabloid mainstay to gauge her interest in returning to the zip code from which she was banished in 1994. And by all accounts, she is interested. "But," whispers an insider with close ties to the reboot, "she wants to know what the story is going to be first." She also wants more money than they're apparently offering.

Also rumored to be standing in the way of Doherty's return is real-life rich kidTori Spelling, with whom Doherty has been feuding for years now. Though we know very little about both Spelling and Doherty, we're on Doherty's side, but only because we've always had a weird thing for women who are mean and crazy.

• The new Laguna Beach cast, now with 500% more liklihood of a trip to the Planned Parenthood. [DListed]

• Is there anything more sadistic than hiring Shannon Doherty to break up with your significant other for you? [Junkiness]

• For Keira Knightly, they're really not very big, but they're still fabulous. [Egotastic]

• Angelina Jolie stole a role from Jennifer Aniston. Oh, and her husband, too. Almost forgot about that one. [Celebrity Nation]

• Andy Samburg and Snaggletooth Dunst officially admit to being a couple, despite the fact that we all stopped caring months ago. [WWTDD]

• Kate Hudson wants to write a bool for new moms. It is tentatively titled Tell The Nanny To Do It. [PopSugar]

• Beyonce slapped with $1.5 Million lawsuit. Rather than fight it, she should just take off a ring or two and just hand them to the dude. No skin off her back. [Socialite's Life]