• Britney Spears' new single is upon us. It makes our brain hurt, but it's going to be huge, because it's Brit and she didn't shave her head. [PS]

• Pamela Anderson wants to pose nude for Playboy one last time. Um … no. [Yeeeah]

• The going rate for being married to Chris Kattan: $100,000 for less than two months. Not bad. [DListed]

• Lindsay Lohan took out an "order of protection" against her starved-for-attention father, Michael. Can we do the same thing so we never have to hear from him again? [INO]

• Christina Aguilera is turning into Lady GaGa. [HT]

• 90210's Shenae Grimes is really unlikeable and wants you to stop hating. Duly noted. [ICYDK]

• This guy farted on a cop. [DListed]

• Sharon Stone didn't lose custody of her kids — not that anybody was really concerned in the first place. [INO]

• Nude photos of Salma Hayek skinny-dipping for her latest movie, if that's your thing. [CityRag]

• Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel look like the unhappiest couple on earth. [PS]

• 90210 actress Shenae Grimes' reaction to being called too thin? "Shake it off baby!" Um, incorrect. [ICYDK]

• Wait, Jennifer Lopez and Victora Beckham aren't BFFs? But they were holding hands and everything! [Yeeeah]

Hollywood never ceases to amaze us with the industry's routine absurdity, and this week is no different: In its latest issue, Us Weekly reveals that some of the new 90210 actresses are too thin. But, let's be serious here, there's no way these girls were cast for their acting abilities — the producers obviously picked who would best represent the young and beautiful. The show's leading lady (besides Lucille Bluth, of course), Shenae Grimes, is 5-foot-3 and comes in at an astonishing 90 pounds; co-star Jessica Stroup is 5-foot-8 and 100 pounds. Apparently this is alarming (you think?), so the show's producers and stars are "poised to take action," whatever that means.

Hey, remember the days when the beautiful 90210 girls actually weighed more than a feather? Poor Brenda Walsh would be shunned for being "the fat girl" if she were part of today's high school crew.