• This is probably inaccurate, but what if it's not! [SH]
• David Beckham is now sponsored by Sharpie, because at this point he'll put his name on anything. [DListed]
• Kim Kardashian makes a guest appearance on Entourage. Wanna bet she has sex with someone? Tortoise, possibly? [HT]
• Christian Siriano is already at the beck and call of Posh. [PS]
• Beyonce is set to star in an upcoming "thriller." Entitled Obsession, odds are the film will not be thrilling. [INO]
• Years after the fact, Sheryl Crow thought it was acceptable to publicly declare that Jennifer Aniston dumped Brad Pitt. [ICYDK]
• Fact: People are afraid of strong women. [CityRag]
Of course, not everyone has the luxury of being able to step over Fashion Week as if it were an errant mess on a city sidewalk. Occasionally, notable people are present for – and even active participants in – the clamorous, glamorous hubbub. To these precious few (or is it gullible many) we briefly offer our attention and pity.
A creep, a newly single father and a gay rock icon walk into a fashion show…
More of this joke after the jump.
CONTINUED »
• Fergie's new single is an amalgam of Extreme, Pink and garbage (literal garbage, not the band). [DListed]
• Bud got busted with buds. [BWE]
• Joey Buttafuoco looks like butt. [Glitterati]
• I hope they didn't eat half an hour ago. [HT]
• Cameron says breakups hurt. Thanks for a scintillating interview I could have read in a middle school girl's bathroom. [ICYDK]
• Crow buys American. [Yeeeah]
• Demi wants Ashton to stop drinking? How 'bout first he concentrates on not being grating the instant you see his face. [CityRag]
A new article in Page Six is making Sheryl Crow look more ridiculous than she did after composing that aural drill bit "Soak Up the Sun."
The save-the-environment rocker who's on a "Stop Global Warming College Tour" with Laurie David and just proposed a limit on toilet paper usage is a big gas-guzzler. Her performance rider demands for each show include three tractor trailers, four buses and six cars for her entourage, TheSmokingGun.com reports. She also insists on 12 bottles of Grolsch beer, six bottles of "local" beer and a bottle each of "good Australian Cabernet" and "good Merlot." Crow's flack said the rider was "an old one from 10 years ago" but declined to show us a current one.
If that rider is an "old one from 10 years ago," what's changed? Has she stopped touring on buses?
Sheryl, maybe you should soak up some forethought and stay out of the sun for a while. It sounds like you may be getting heat stroke.
• Jenna Jameson just keeps getting butchered. She's also still dating Magilla Gorilla. [Egotastic]
• Britney taking it up another notch with a hit list. [IDLYITW]
• Angelina's the sexiest person in the whole world. A basic cable channel in the UK deems it so. [Glitterati]
• Kate and Owen riding bikes. That's pretty much it. You don't even have to look at the pics. [JJ]
• Sheryl Crowe dating Moe. [Jossip]
• Brit's first husband striking while the iron's hot. [ICYDK]
• James Blunt mows down an autograph seeker. That's what he gets for seeking an autograph from James Blunt. [ASL]
What do Owen Wilson, Jay-Z, Kate Mos,Kanye West, Justin Timberlake, Johnny Depp, and Sheryl Crow have in common? Why, they're all in this new video for Johnny Cash's "God's Gonna Cut You Down" of course.
Though I was unable to watch last night's Country Music Association Awards (were they on TV? I'm an a-hole) I'm sure they were chalk full of exciting moments. This one, however, seems to be the most hilarious. About 40 seconds into this clip, the award for Female Artist of the Year is announced, Carrie Underwood wins and Faith Hill seems a little, shall we say, taken aback. To be fair, I'd be annoyed if an American Idol winner (other than K. Clark, obvs) even got to cut in front of me at the grocery store.
Update: Yes, yes, it was meant as a joke. Faith has released this statement, "The idea that I would act disrespectful towards a fellow musician is unimaginable to me. For this to become a focus of attention given the talent gathered is utterly ridiculous. Carrie is a talented and deserving Female Vocalist of The Year."
• Oh I get it, Shery Crow is being leather for Halloween. [DListed]
• Hard to remember controversy when he's so damn cute. [Bricks and Stones]
• Mischa Barton auditions for hair band groupie. [A Socialite's Life]
• Paris doesn't stop with pot in her teddy bears. Don't even ask where she keeps her used condom collection. [BWE]
• Vincent Gallo is the Madonna of hipsters, can't steal orphan dig addled teen waif, must steal Cobrasnake's. [Junkiness]
• Keanu Reeves is just like any other hobo on the street with coffee, only he's got china. [Splash]
• Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards on the same screen. Stop fantasizing…it's some lame romantic comedy. [Hollywood Tuna]
• Beyonce visits Australian Zoo, just to see some living things more trapped than she is. [PopSugar]
• Was Paris Hilton too wasted to have sex, or too wasted to have sex with a Carter. [Egotastic]
• The iPod turns 5 today, so here's the first ever iPod commercial, from when Moby was only slightly past awesome. [BWE]
• I'm sure more airport security guards would love to strip search Jessica Simpson. [PopSugar]
• Someone should tell Ashlee Simpson that there are more than two restaurants in London. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Sheryl Crow continues on her quest to make everyone uncomfortable by writing an entire album about her breasts. [Junkiness]
• Have the Spears-Federline's swindled us all? [DListed]
• Damn you, India, stop making our Angelina faint. [Celebitchy]
• No matter what city I'm in, I never see celebrities, perhaps because I don't want to become this guy. [CityRag]
Last week, near the end of his tour with Sheryl Crow, John Mayer put on a bear suit to play "My Favorite Mistake", as a prank. (Is that even really a prank? I'm not sure.) To retaliate she apparently took off her clothes at a different concert. Don't get me wrong, she looks great, outstanding really, but, um, pants? Well, at least she definitely wins the prank-off. Bear suit has nothing on bikini
[Source]
I owe Jake Gyllenhaal an apology. See, the other day I made fun of his biking get-up and, in essence, his new-found (at least to me) intese dedication to the sport. But then I see these pictures where he's biking with motherfucking Lance Armstrong, which is pretty cool no matter how jaded you are. When you're biking with the best in the world, I suppose it's okay to dress the part.
I also should make the correction that Jake doesn't have to worry about getting Sheryl Crow all "hot and bothered," because she only has eyes for one biker, and it's Lance. Crow feels like a part of her was "amputated" when Armstrong left her, which seems to me like an awkward choice of words. I mean, even though Lance's testicle wasn't so much "amputated," he did lose a body part for real. What I'm trying to say is, my bad, Jake's clearly a non-issue for Sheryl, even in bike shorts.
PS-Yes, that's Matthew McConaughey there, too. Hottt.
Jake Gyllenhaal takes his biking very seriously. He is not afraid to don the spandex shorts and fancy biking shirt for his exercise. Those sunglasses are not only stylish, but extremely functional. He needs not one, but two water bottles for his extra-manly dehydration. Do not make jokes about how if he's not careful he'll get Sheryl Crow all hot and bothered. This get-up isn't funny; it is very very intese.
Especially the chest hair.
[Source]
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