I post this video of Samuel L. Jackson on Bill Nye the Science Guy in honor of it officially maybe probably being the last day that we have to endure this Snakes on a Plane marketing ploy to the degree at which I feel a need to gouge my eyes out every time I see that fucked up caduseus. Congrats, SoaP, you figured out how to take advantage of blogs. Sigh, I'm probably the asshole here. Enjoy the movie, I'll be drinking wine alone on my couch.

Aaaaand, I'm back.

If you've been hanging out here long enough, you know that I irrationally loathe this Snakes On A Plane nonsense. This does not, however, mean that I can't appreciate a good video mash-up. I think this, Snakes On Claire Danes, could use a little more My So-Called Life, but that might just be my inner 7th grader talking. Enjoy it. Snakes skeeve me out.

But wait, there's more! Since I promised you weekend MollyGood to quench your thirst for celebrities and was unable to deliver due to our server being brainwashed and forced to go see the "beautiful" Suri Cruise, I've got an extra special bonus moving picture for you munchkins. The post-jump video is sick and NSFW, but hilarious. You should watch it. And then watch your favorite porn. And then watch the video here again. It'll be hot.

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Thank the sweet Lord that Snakes on a Plane opens next month (August 18th, to be exact) because that means that we only have to endure one more month of hearing about it. I admit, it will get worse before it gets better (case in point: Samuel L. Jackson, above, at Comic Con not only holding motherfucking snakes, but wearing a motherfucking shirt promoting his motherfucking movie), though I predict that after the movie comes out it will fall off of the radar pretty quickly. I know I'm alone on this one, but I can't wait to at least have a moment of snakes staying where they belong between this film and the crappy sequel that will inevitably open within the year. Well, at least Chuck Klosterman is with me.

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There, I said it. Watch this video. This is why I think that not only will Snakes On A Plane be a crappy movie, but the buzz is so unbelievably hideously unfunny-self-made-music-video-ly over it won't even get the Six Months Late To The Hype Party kids. The hipster who bought the first Snakes On A Plane t-shirt, last year, already gave it to Goodwill.

You get over 73,000 hits when you search Blogger for Snakes On A Plane. Need I say more? If the people behind this had their wits about them at all, they would have rushed to release this moving a long ime ago, when it was still going to be so-unfunny-it's-HILARIOUS, but releasing a trailer now and the movie August 18th. Too late. Way too late.