David Letterman's disdain for the guests his job requires him to interview is becoming less and less subtle, and it's an absolutely glorious thing to behold.
After the jump, watch as Letterman uses Hills star Lauren Conrad's promotional rambling to sell his book and presents her with the theory that maybe she's the reason people hate her. The host also takes some time to go off on LC's mortal enemy, Spencer Pratt. Enjoy.
CONTINUED »
Reality TV losers Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag continued in their quest to make all Americans proud last night at a Hollywood art gallery. The "Lights! Camera! Election!" event was sponsored by a vodka company, which may explain why the tools got drunk and forgot that the presidential race was not all about them.
Congratulations, Speidi: You finally found something more disturbing than a McCain/Palin presidency.
[Source]
America's favorite nightmares, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, paraded around LA Wednesday to scare people into voting for Barack Obama.
Spencer wore the glorious shirt you see at left while Heidi sported a tiny tank top that read, "Read My Lipstick: Vote McCain-Palin." Read my lipstick: No.
Props were also involved: A shotgun, a bottle of beer and a copy of You Can Profit From a Monetary Crisis. Somehow, we imagine this is not helping.
[Source]
Despite the fact that Hills alum Whitney Port scored her own reality TV spin-off, The City, the NYC paparazzi are still unsure as to who exactly this girl is. Behold the WireImage description of Whit at Us Weekly's Hot Hollywood party, who is identified as "Guest," while her lesser known co-star, Olivia Palermo, was easily named. This can not bode well for the budding fashionista, especially during a time when both Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt can be picked out of a crowd by most Americans.
Other stars deemed "hot" by the tabloid included the High School Musical kiddos, a few Gossip Girls (and boys), America's Next Top Tranny Model Jaslene, some Ugly Bettys and Patti LaBelle. Sounds a little lukewarm to us.
Click through for photos.
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I thought my [outfit] was more grammatically correct for the occasion." — Sinsu, Paris Hilton's My New BFF
The Hills frenemies Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag were spotted hugging last night at a Los Angeles restaurant, sending the staffers at Us Weekly into an "OMG they're totally friends again!" frenzy.
Conrad was in the restaurant celebrating her runway show at Los Angeles fashion week with family and close friends. Meanwhile Montag and beau Spencer Pratt were at the bar eating dinner.
After spotting Conrad, Montag was seen asking if she could congratulate Conrad on her clothing line. And after a brief heart to heart, the two girls were seen hugging. They were both smiling and seemed happy to be talking.
Wait, that was it? There was no big public declaration of friendship? No tears? No press releases? We'd call what just happened maturity. Not the same as a reconciliation.
Side note: Remember when Heidi used to look like that?
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We would like to start out by apologizing to Ted Casablanca for insinuating that he made up a ridiculous rumor about Lauren Conrad hooking up with former BFF Audrina Patridge's on-again hobo boyfriend Justin Bobby. Turns out Ted didn't start the fire — it was Spencer Pratt. We should have seen that one coming.
On Friday we blew off the entire story, insisting that it was so ridiculous nobody could take it seriously. Soon after, both Audrina and Lauren issued statements — Audrina claiming that she's "not sure what to believe" and "these rumors are very confusing and hurtful" while Lauren insisted she would "never hurt a friend like that." For the record, we believe Lauren. No way would she hook up with JB.
Lauren also went on to confirm that Spencer was likely behind the story — much like he was behind her nonexistent sex tape from last year: "Hmmmmmm. I wonder who it could be? I'm baffled….What kind of person would enjoy watching blogs and the press tear me apart?" Naturally, Spencer had something to say. And it was delusional and ugly. CONTINUED »
Time to distract ourselves from the sad state of America yet again: There's a Hills love triangle! Way more important than that stupid bailout.
So Audrina moved out of the house she shared with Lauren and Lo, and nobody really knew why, but A and LC insisted they were still on good terms. Enter Ted Casablanca, quite possibly the world's worst gossip, who decided to spin a tale of Audrina and Lauren fighting over the same man. Believable enough … until he decided to make the Casanova none other than Justin Bobby, the knowledgeable hobo who occasionally creeps onto the show and pretends to like Audrina for some camera time. We love him because he regularly spits out nuggets of wisdom like, "Truth and time tells all." Lauren, however, does not enjoy him.
Ted, who is much like a child making up a bedtime story, said that Lauren and Justin Bobby hooked up behind Audrina's back, but JB later spilled the beans while LC denied it. Don't believe Ted? Here's proof: The girls removed each other from their MySpace top friends. Gasp!
Oh wait, hold the phone: Ted just changed his mind: CONTINUED »
Taco Bell, bless its heart, hosted a "Reality Check Challenge" to help solve world hunger yesterday in LA. And who did the restaurant enlist to help? Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, obviously the most charitable couple in Hollywood. Instead of bringing light to the world's food issues, the reality show duo made us vomit up our last meal.
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If anyone doesn't want to talk politics, I'm offering a different alternative: Let's discuss The Hills in depth, shall we? For the three of you who didn't run back to the Palin posts, let's proceed. Last night's episode was fairly awesome thanks to Darlene Montag, the woman who birthed and raised the nightmare we know as Heidi. Darlene suffered through a one-on-one lunch with devilish Spencer, who was a complete and total ass to her ("I don't get uncomfortable, my dear") and then cried real tears for her lost cause of a daughter, claiming that Spence is the biggest d-bag that ever lived.
Except, you know, it was all fake. First off, Darlene showed up in this episode to "surprise" Heidi for her birthday. Heidi's birthday is Sept. 15. Darlene claimed she hadn't seen Heidi in months and had no idea she was living with Spencer. Please. It's not like she hasn't DVR'd every episode of The Hills and cut out each cheesy tabloid spread featuring Speidi to tape to her refrigerator. Also? If Darlene just showed up two weeks ago, how does she explain this, the photo shoot she had with Speidi and Joe Francis in early August?
Methinks this desperate need for the MTV cameras' attention runs in the family.
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I feel like my uterus had a workout." — Brooke, Brooke Knows Best
There are some things we can count on: The sun comes up from the east. Heidi and Spencer show up for any red carpet event, no matter how inane. And posts about the Jonas Brothers and Clay Aiken bring out the crazies. But who knew those same weirdos would also go insane for David Blaine?
Upon our discovery that Blaine was not actually doing anything he promised during his latest stunt, rabid fan Jennifer took to the comments section to set the record straight: CONTINUED »
• Britney Spears really doesn't need that much retouching, does she? [DListed]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson confirm they are a couple, because nobody had any idea. [PS]
• Whitney Port officially gets her very own Hills spinoff, set in NYC. As long as it's not Speidi, we're on board. [ICYDK]
• All the celebrity nip slips you could ever want. [CityRag]
• For everyone who was concerned: Kim Kardashian fits in her size 26 jeans. [Yeeeah]
• Dakota Fanning continues her reign of perfection by making her school's cheerleading team. [INO]
Magical idiot David Blaine is now hanging upside down above Central Park as we type, so this is a great time to discuss all of the medical dangers involved with the attention whore's stunt. We'll start with the basics: No eating or sleeping for three days and two nights. That sounds bad enough, but then come the real issues: Possible strokes, blindness, seizures or death.
Quick, somebody tell Heidi and Spencer that Us Weekly is doing an upside down photo shoot that may last a couple of days because the world-famous photographer works verrrrry slowly.
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Last night on The Hills, the Chucky doll-ish Spencer Pratt schooled viewers on how to be a functioning adult who behaves appropriately. Upon hearing that his girlfriend/robot's sister, Holly, wants to spend time with mortal enemy Lauren Conrad, Spencer gives a death glare and then pulls out the "As long as you're living under my roof…" argument, complete with his big word of the day, "fraternizing." He also shows off his fantastic passive-aggressiveness with a sarcastic comment about how Lauren is "really cool." When none of those tactics work, he stomps off to throw a tantrum in his room. Well played, Spence. Well played. (Scene at 0:45.)
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "If I pee up myself, this is for you." — Nikeysha, America's Next Top Model
Spencer [revealed] that he and Heidi will be taking their plasticity … to a whole new level.
"We just talked to Mattel yesterday, and we are already working on our own Ken and Barbie," Spencer confirmed.
Heidi isn't quite sure what she wants her doll to wear. "I haven't really thought about it that much, but I'm really excited," she said.
There was definite funny business going on last night at some video game launch party in Hollywood: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag showed up, along with her sister Holly and Lauren Conrad's ex Doug Reinhardt. This is mildly scandalous because, upon breaking up with Lauren, Doug went out on a date with Spencer's sister Stephanie (which went over like a lead balloon when Lauren found out). Little Dougy seems to fit right in with the Hills cast and their high school drama, but someone forgot to tell Holly that it's all fake:
Yeah, we came together. We are just, you know, hanging out.
Translation: OMG do you think he likes me?!?! He's soooo cute!! I'm going to act coy but OMG YOU GUYS I totally think we're going to get married!
Unfortunately, Doug quickly shot down her hopes:
There are no romantic sparks. She is a great girl.
Translation: I am repulsed by her but would like more screen time on upcoming episodes of The Hills. Also, I'm available for autographs after the event.
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