"Don’t believe a word of it….its all self serving publicity spin…..we heard it all before when he moved to Spain. There is nothing new about these two….they go where the money is," said Billy yesterday, commenting on a story about a possible Beckham family move back to the UK. Though he used far too many ellipses, Billy Boy might be right on the money. Rumor is that the Beckhams, whose initial emigration from England was spawned by the promise of so much money, is learning the hard way that the dollar is half the man the pound is.
There’s … the topic of Victoria Beckham’s denim line, dVb. “It’s done about $15 million in retail when it was expected to have done $50 million by now,” [said] a well-placed retailer…
Reps for the Beckhams say the clothing line is “doing well,” and there aren’t plans for David to get out of his contract and move. However, another well-placed Beckham source said that the transition to the States hasn’t been as seamless as originally hoped, and the change in Victoria’s fame status has had something to do with that.
As you'll remember, the Spice Girls canceled their world tour due to rotten ticket sales.
[Source]
According to this statement from the Spice Girls, the Girls' children haven't been attending school during the groups' now defunct, months-long reunion tour. We're unsure of whether that's because the kids been traveling with their mothers or because they're at home where nobody but their absent moms are willing to take them to school, but either way it's a bad excuse for truancy.
The recently reunited Spice Girls have canceled their world tour four months early. According to the UK's Daily Mail, the group has called it quits for one of two reasons, neither of them good: either nobody is buying tickets or the Girls hate each other. Judging by the rather undisturbed reaction of the Daily Mail's commenters, we'd say it's the former (which might contribute to the latter):
• "Thank god 'Old Spice' are not coming here to Oz! I can't stand them, and I used to be a fan. There is nothing more embarrassing than a bunch of starved has-beens trying to make a come-back!"
• "Who would be silly enough to pay to see old hags miming to old songs?"
• "Face it girls, you're not The Police, Led Zeppelin or Eagles… you're just five talentless bimbos who had their 15 minutes of fame which feels a really long time ago. Most people that actually bought your records are today embarrassed to admit that… would they be seen in the audience of your 'reunion' tour? Get real and good riddance."
NEVER HAD IT "Could the Spice Girls be tanking in the early stages of their comeback tour? While their first performance in London last Saturday was a sellout, their Sunday show was less than full, and tickets were still available as they started their opening number Monday night, reports ThisIsLondon.com. Some ticket agencies were reportedly selling seats at the last minute at a one-third discount."
The Spice Girls – yes, they still sign "Girl Power" on things – christened Virgin Atlantic jumbo jet the Spice One last night in Los Angeles.
Were the act itself not stupid enough, amazingly, not a single person associated with this commercial venture had the forethought to google the plane's name prior to making a show of it.
CONTINUED »
• Seen the new MEN-olos? They're hideous. [Queerty]
• Yum-O! [DListed]
• More Hills is on the way. We hope you're proud of yourself, Hills viewers. [PS]
• Tara Reid: salvageable? [HT]
• Wanna smell like Britney Spears? No? Well, wanna smell like Britney Spears' perfume? [INO]
• Sporty Spice has a solo career? [ICYDK]
• American Idol star proves American Idol doesn't at all screen their contestants. [Yeeeah]
• The poor man's Justin Timberlake is really, really trying. [EBG]
We've never wanted to fantasize that a woman's breasts are whisker-bearing animal eyes and her naval a pursed mouth, but obviously some people do. That's gross. But even more unappealing is the million-dollar carnival thrown in honor of a bunch of underwear. We know Victoria's secret: People are gullible.
The Spice Girls are making the most of their latest 15 minutes, now shilling for Tesco, a British big-box chain that follows the hubristic lead of Wal-Mart. This commercial is the most clever thing the Girls have ever done and it's not very different from their musical career, also founded on selling crap.
The Spice Girls' uninspired new single about newspapers or whatever has debuted at number 20 on the UK pop charts, meaning everyone's sick of them over there, too. And why shouldn't they be? Also, new rule: No calling your band "something" Boys or "something" Girls once everyone is over the age of 28, and even that's pushing it.
Posh Spice's sister, Louise ( Posh + food - multiple surgeries = Louise), is said to be livid that Posh is expecting her to jet around the world on the Spice Girls tour and help take care of her and David Beckham's three sons.
A source said: "Louise loves the boys dearly but sometimes she does get angry that Victoria expects so much of her.
"The pair of them are very close but Louise is going through a difficult time at the moment after splitting with her husband, so it's pretty bad timing."
"It's just a divorce. Chin up, love. Now wipe up all this shit while I'm at the big concert. Cheerio."
[Source]
• Tutankhamun not quite the looker we expected. [AFP]
• Clearly, not all models are stupid. [DListed]
• New Spice Girls track less "Voodoo" more Sunday School. [EBG]
• Following the devastating California fires, Matthew McConaughey decides he wants a much more expensive Malibu home than the one in which he currently lives. Huh? [PS]
• A Playboy Bunny and Hugh Hefner! So creative, you two vapid schmucks! [HT]
• Before we chastise: Are we sure she's not handicapped? That might explain more than just this parking job. [ICYDK]
• A Julia Roberts interview that might reveal slightly more about Julia Roberts than you knew before! Whoa! Did you already know stuff about Julia Roberts? Double whoa! [INO]
• Oh, yeah, she's pregnant. [Yeeeah]
• Lookalikes! What fun. [CityRag]
• And it gets laughably worse! [DListed]
• How about when celebrities tell the media they hate media. We hate that. [PS]
• FHM is not going to the grave without a fight, we'll give them that. [HT]
• A full rundown of the spending habits of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Enjoy? Please try not to, actually. [INO]
• Paris Hilton goes into a tizzy in a pornography shop. Heiress-like! [ICYDK]
• Do the Europeans like Avril Lavigne so much because she makes North America looks so damn bad? Or is it less insidious and they just have bad taste? [Yeeeah]
• Katie Holmes is running the New York marathon, presumably to test her endurance for when she must steal her baby away into the night. [EBG]
The new Spice Girls single, "Headlines," has been released and we're almost certain it was written using Abhorrent, Unthinking Garbage Mad Libs. Those are the ones where you're given a page of nondescript lyrics that you then flesh out using only the words baby, love, heaven, fly, cry and soul. Maybe it gets better after 30 seconds, but we couldn't stand to check.
Now, I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger, I'm just sayin' her and her lawyer's tightly choreographed maneuvering when faced with the question, "Did you ask him for a $9 million home?" makes her old Spice Girls routines look like arthritic lumbering.
PS What up with Larry King getting fresh with Mel B but walking on eggshells for Paris Hilton?
[Source]
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day—using 17 syllables or less—you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is Eebsy:
Mere mortals look on.
There’s a new sheriff in town.
Some green with envy.
Well done, Eebsy.
New one after the jump.
• Ummmmmm…so is he racist? And to whom did he sell his soul to get that fucking voice. [BWE]
• That's what people get for trusting labels. [DListed]
• Ditch the bra, babe; your breasts are harder than Chinese algebra. [HT]
• Which one is Stepford Spice? [ICYDK]
• "Rat Face" is pejorative, right? [Yeeeah]
• Jack Burton or Jack? Too close to call. [CityRag]
If you're a fan of bad pop music and one hit wonders, you're in luck: The Spice Girls are reuniting. Once again galvanized by their love of harmonies, each other and boatloads of money, the ladies are getting together for the first time in seven years to lip sync their way back into the hearts of their adoring fan(s?). How can one be sure they'll lip sync? Well, they're currently in the studio recording tracks not for a new album, but for something called a "virtual voice" computer. In other words, their show is going to consist of past prime women doing karaoke. If that's your thing, save your money and go to happy hour near a business district anywhere in America.
Sporty Spice looks better than ever under here.
CONTINUED »
Editor
