The tabloids are finally getting over Heath Ledger's death, and it's about time, because at this point they're just grasping at straws. Most of the magazines have reverted back to their old habits: covering Brangelina. We want to stab our eyes out every time we are forced to read a "Jen's jealous!" cover story.
Perhaps Britney's stint at the psych ward did some good, because she managed to only land two covers this week. Of course, she brought enough crazy for all five magazines with her declarations of marriage and the fact that she really doesn't want her kids back. Good for her kids.
And famewhores Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are at it again, giving two completely different stories to both Us Weekly and Life & Style. Could it be they're not being honest with someone? Could it be they've never been honest in their lives? We don't care that much anymore, but obviously the tabs do. CONTINUED »
Britney's locked away in the psych ward this week, but that doesn't mean she's disappeared. She ends up in every single magazine with the exact same story: Brit's crazy. We didn't need to pay $3.99 to figure that out.
Mary-Kate Olsen is experiencing the Heath Ledger backlash, with Star going so far as to devote a four-page spread on how she and her twin sister are awful midgets. Or something like that.
And Life & Style continues on its solo mission to kidnap Baby Shiloh. This week, the mag reported that Shiloh has a stalker. It forgot to mention that said stalker is in fact Life & Style. CONTINUED »
Because the tabs missed Heath Ledger's death last week, this week we are treated to multiple angles of the actor's life: He was an awful person! He was a great person! He was addicted to drugs and didn't care! He tried to get help! TMZ wore us out with this last week. Let's move on.
The biggest news, of course, is Angelina's pregnancy. You know what this means: Expect a bombardment of Brangelina covers for the next nine months.
In other news, Lynne Spears tries to act like a mother, Heidi claims to be religious and Miley Cyrus is the next Britney. God help us all. CONTINUED »
Congrats to Lynne Spears! This week, her daughters had a monopoly on all the covers — Jamie Lynn still has some work to do, however, because she only appeared on one compared to Britney's four. It seems the crazy trumps teen pregnancy every time.
Besides the onslaught of Britney drama, there's lots of Hills gossip and Hollywood stars who still refuse to come out of the closet. What more could you ask for? Exclusives with Tara Reid and Amy Winehouse? OK! has you covered!
So let's travel to a world where suicide threats and kidnapping are the norm, and Britney seems to have hit rock bottom. But for some reason, Intern Whitney still isn't so sure. CONTINUED »
The father of Jamie Lynn Spears baby is NOT boyfriend Casey Aldridge, according to shocking reports from the U.S.
…Star magazine insists that the teenager may not be the dad - and that Spears’ friends and family think it is an older man who would face statutory rape charges.
Friends have said that Jamie Lynn was no longer even seeing Casey - and family members told Star that they believe the real father is a much older executive at her children’s TV show ‘Zoey 101′.
…
“The man many suspect is the father, however, would face charges and probably prison time if he were to come forward and admit he had sex with her…”
This is almost certainly not true. Then again, the only reason we say that is because we hope it is not. Considering how many people are damaged in terrible ways, it could be completely accurate. In which case: Gah!
[Source]
Just one day after several Britney Spears lookalikes took to a set in Hollywood to begin production on the new video for Blackout's "Piece of Me," Star magazine brings to light some information that might make one question their desire to emulate the melting singer.
The tabloid alleges that the plummeting pop star's Mulholland Drive mansion is equipped with a double-locked, X-rated "Fantasy Room" filled with ticklers, whips and fur-trimmed handcuffs hanging from the metal bedframe.
The second-floor room also features a mirrored ceiling, a glass jar containing spanking paddles and a closet full of kinky outfits, according to an "insider" who stumbled into the den of sin.
God forbid: sex! Thankfully, the outrage eventually becomes less puritanical:
CONTINUED »
A Star cover's quotes of regret:
• "Ya'll crying-ass babies was mistakes!"
• "Ordering seven slices of radish was a huge mistake. Take away these five."
• "All them years of margs and sluts in sarongs was a mistake, baby."
• "We've got to fuck quietly so as not to awaken my lesbian wife, whom I mistakenly married believing she was straight."
Dear Star,
Are most of your exclamation points a mistake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best,
Cord
Some girls have all the luck. First Brandy gets to sit next to the Hoff every night on that talent show whose name I try to pretend I don't know (wait, did I say luck? I meant eternal hell), and now she's dating the coolest dude on Reality Television, Project Runway's Michael Knight. Star reports:
Popstar and America's Got Talent judge Brandy, 27, has fallen for Project Runway finalist Michael Knight, 28! The two hit it off after being introduced by an industry acquaintance while L.A. based Brandy was Atlanta promoting her show, says sources.
"He's the perfect gentleman and has really won her affection," says a source close to the singer. They're so smitten with each other that they're racking up frequent flyer miles. She even showed her support by sitting front row at Michael's show during New York Fashion week. How sweet!
WTF, dude. She's got a hot guy who can make her hot clothing? Un-freaking-fair.
[Source]
Sigh. I'm not sure there's really more to write than the headline, but I suppose I'll give you the context of this precious gem of knowledge. Dina Lohan, the terrifying momager (Lohandler?), of Lindsay and the rest of the brood is in negotiations to get her own television show. Sounds rad. Star Magazine's got the deets:
“I have a talk show in the works,” ravishing Dina told Star ‘s David Caplan during an interview at NYC’s Tainted Blue recording studios, where daughter Ali, 12, was recording tracks to her holiday-themed album Lohan Holiday, to be released by YMC Records on Oct. 10. “It’s more of an Apprentice-y, game show-y thing. I would host it and co-produce it. It’s a good heartwarming show. It’s nothing trashy. We’re not going to follow dates to bars and see what happens, or anything like that. But it’s a girl-empowered, woman show. I would only do something that would help other people, because that’s just who I am and how I was raised.”
But is it a reality show? “I don’t want to say that word, but it is about real people,” Dina says, without explaining much more about the show.
She goes on to talk some shit about Star Jones and drop her Oprah likeness. See, she's perfect because she's famous(-ish, and at the expense of her daughter's innocence). Everything those Lohans touch turns to gold; I'm sure this will be no different.
[Source]
Close, Star Magazine, close but no cigar with this bit on Carmen Elektra and Dave Navarro. It's always a gamble to go to press when there are rumors of a couple's split. Sometimes it's a false alarm, and sometimes a couple really is dunzo. Every magazine wins some and loses some, and thanks to big bro Jossip, we see that this time Star lost.
So this weekend pour one out for Dave and Carmen and for the poor schlub at Star who is responsible for this.
I got shit to do tomorrow so won't be able to cure your hangover with laughter and bitchiness, but I'll be here Sunday with bells on. Don't miss me too much.
Kisses and Coronas,
Molly
[Source]
Please forgive me for a moment of geeking out about MollyGood's shout-out in this week's Star Magazine. Thanks so much to Star for the plug (and all the hot gossip, natch)! If I were Paris Hilton, I'd make a sex tape just for you.
I of course want to send out a huge enormous Anna Nicole pre-Trimspa-sized Thank You to all of you readers of MollyGood. Without you, I'd just be sitting here gossiping to myself, which might actually frighten my loved ones. So please, keep coming, e-mailing, calling me out, and commenting. I've only just begun.
Though the gossip rags would love it if all of female Hollywood got knocked-up at the same time, it doesn't seem to be on the horizon. This doesn't mean, however, that these magazines aren't going to splatter their covers with pictures of the maybe possibly a little bit pregnant to sell copies. It's pretty ridiculous, but these stories, as all celebrity gossip information should, need to be taken with a grain of salt. Otherwise people like me would go around thinking that Britney Spears has been pregnant for the past three years straight (okay, bad example).
Sometimes it hits a little close to home with the female stars in question. So one 'rexic star ate a few more In-N-Out burgers than the asshole public would have liked, it doesn't necessarily mean she's pregs. This week, Reese Witherspoon was the target and is, shall we say, less than pleased. TMZ has the story:
TMZ has obtained a lawsuit filed by Reese Witherspoon claiming Star Magazine invaded her privacy by publishing a "fictional" story that the actress was pregnant.
In the lawsuit, filed Wednesday in Los Angeles County Superior Court, the Academy Award-winning actress claims the magazine published a false story that she was pregnant "in a callous effort to boost the tabloid's sagging sales."
…
Mike Kahane, General Counsel for American Media, told TMZ, "It is a frivolous lawsuit. It has no legal merit and we intend to vigorously defend it and have every confidence that we will prevail."
We asked Kahane if Star believes Witherspoon is pregnant. He said, "The article asks the question as to whether or not she is pregnant based on her physical appearance and clothing that she was wearing and we believe we have every right to ask that question."
Witherspoon's publicist issued a statement, claiming the tabloid lied by saying "…she has been withholding or concealing this information from producers of upcoming films." The statement says Witherspoon's lawyers notified Star before the article was published, warning that the article was "…absolutely false and that it would be damaging to Witherspoon professionally as well as very distressing personally."
Hey, look on the bright side, Reese–at least no one has ever called you a bad mother for three issues straight. Or talked about your contracting STDs. Or cheating on your husband. Or getting in a catfight with Lindsay Lohan at a club. See, things could be so much worse.
[Source]
Well, no. Parted? Most likely, but not actually gone, per se. So, um, this whole morbid 'til death do us part' imagery wedding invite wasn't so much a promise from Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra who are rapidly on the way to splitsville. More like 'til our egos do us part.' Or 'til our mutual adoration of hair products more than each other do us part.'
It's been rumored for a while that Carmen and Dave are dunzo, but Star Magazine has the full story:
"It's not going to last the summer," a source close to the couple predicts. "They've really been separate for some time now, but it looks like they're going to let it fester for a while before they finally call it quits."
Further fueling split rumors was their behavior on June 7 — Dave's 39th birthday. Although Carmen, 34, went to see his new band, The Panic Channel, perform in West Hollywood, she didn't walk the red carpet with him and skipped his birthday party afterward, the insider observes.
"Since March, they've hardly been together at all," the insider says. "She's traveling all the time and doesn't even bother to tell him her schedule. Dave's pissed off, and the stress of seeing the marriage going downhill must be breaking him apart. I think one of the reasons she's working so hard is she doesn't want to face the fact that her marriage is over. Bottom line is that the thrill is gone."
…
Carmen's rep would only say, "They're still together."
I give it at least two more public denials, or a few seriously slow gossip weeks, for this story to become official. I can only hope that they don't run out of waterproof mascara during this trying time. God knows they're gonna need it. At least whatever friend is talking to the tabs is willing to use the word "fester" to describe the end of the relationship. It's what the Carmen and Dave we all saw exploit their love on MTV would've wanted.
Apparently catty bloggers weren't the only people who thought that Britney Spears' interview with Matt Lauer last week was a complete trainwreck. Much as everyone suspected, her publisicts were mysteriously absent at the interview, leaving Britney to her own devices. She looked like a lost, disshevled puppy. Or a blind toddler who somehow managed to dress herself. Page Six has this story:
"Dateline" staffers were shocked when they showed up with Matt Lauer to interview Spears last week and found the pop star alone in her Malibu manse. "Neither of her publicists, Leslie Sloane Zelnick or Nanci Ryder, showed up," said our source. Spears insisted on doing her own hair and makeup - a regrettable decision. Web sites derided her hair as a "rat's nest" and, when she started crying during the interview, one of her fake eyelashes fell off. "When [the NBC crew] got there, they thought they had the wrong day . . . During the interview, no one was there to rein things in," we're told. … Reps tried to control the damage on Friday. "They asked NBC not to release footage to places like E!," said a source. Asked why Spears was on her own for the interview, Sloane Zelnick said, "Britney is a grown-up and makes her own decisions."
She may make her own decisions, but if this is what we get when someone lets her, I'm reluctant to call Britney a "grown-up" at all. This is a testament to how depressing the entire Britney Spears phenomenon is–she is just a child in an adult's body, as she has been since she was 16-years-old. God, no one should have let her breed.
Keep reading for the (fairly dim) silver lining.
CONTINUED »
Is Nicole Kidman putting a rush on her wedding plans because she is with child? According to Star (and I guess these pictures?) Kidman is looking pre-tty round these days and she would never just let herself go like that:
And wouldn't that be the perfect wedding gift for Nicole — as Star has reported, she's slated to marry her fiancé, country crooner Keith Urban, 38, later this month. An eyewitness exclusively tells Star, "Nicole was going to yoga around 5 p.m., and her tummy was really hanging out and pushing her pants down. She looked like she had gained some weight in her belly area and in her breasts. It wouldn't be a stretch to say she looked like a woman in the early stages of pregnancy."
Perhaps fiance Keith Urban was able to do what Tom Cruise never could in sperminating Nicole. Though, even with my admittedly rudimentary knowledge of how babies are made, I think that pregnancy is usually the result of sexual intercourse, and I'm not sure she and Tommy ever made it that far.
[Source]
Now that the Simpson twins are in full effect, its only natural to assume that they hate each other. Thankfully, Jessica tackles this weighty matter in an interview with Maxim this month, Star has a quote:
My sister. Her body is so sick right now! She's like this little surf girl with the most perfect boobs and the skinniest legs. I have no idea how she looks so good. She's addicted to sugar…There's no sibling rivalry. We're different people, and our bodies are totally different…
Well, 'totally different' might be a bit of a stretch, ya know, in comparison to the rest of society, but it's nice to see that Jessica Simpson's naivete extends beyond fish vs. fowl and into the mysteries of plastic surgery.
At least Jessica's not having her concert tickets given away for free because Ticketmaster can't sell them. Yikes, rough luck Ashlee. I mean, that's probably because Jessica isn't touring and hasn't made music for a long time, but at least she has that shred of dignity in tact.
[Star Quote via PopBytes]
I know Jessica Simpson is desperate, but if these rumors are true about her and Jared Leto, things have reached an all-time low. Sure, at least it's not Wilmer Valderwhywouldanyhalfwaydecentstarletdatehimma, but Leto is pretty low. Star relays this:
Eyewitnesses said Jessica and Jared made no attempt to hide their sexy rendezvous. “Jared went right over to be near Jess, and sat down next to her. They were talking very closely,” said one source.
“Jessica was having a great time. She was dancing and seemed to really be enjoying herself,” said the source. Things got really heated later into the night. “They were draped all over each other. And it’s not like they were trying to hide it – a lot of people inside the lounge saw them openly flirting, and couldn’t believe their eyes.
“They looked like they were having a lot of fun together. But they didn’t kiss – that was at least one thing they kept out of public!”
Maybe she is just trying to guilt Nick into coming back by dating the most pathetuc douches she can find, Even so, Jared Leto? Does she know where that genetalia gas been? Inside every peice of young hollywood he runs across, and that boy spends a lot of time around town.
Jessica Simpson may have bumped uglies with all the Jackass dudes, Dane Cook, and anyone else willing to listen to her talk for more than five minutes, but sleeping with the same dude as Lohan within two weeks? That's kinda sad.
[Source]
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