Finally! After days of waiting for more information about A Double Shot at Love with the Ikki Twins, a preview — and all of its accompanying STDs — has hit YouTube. And good news: It's every bit the famewhore cesspool we imagined.

Just another step forward for the GLBT community.

Good news, everyone! The fairytale romance between Bret Michaels and Ambre Lake, the winner of Rock of Love 2, has come to an end, thus opening the window of opportunity for the leftover STD-ridden famewhores who have yet to be picked for a reality dating show.

So what went wrong after Bret "tried twice to find love by filling a mansion with gorgeous women and having them compete for his heart" (according to the press release)? Well, for starters, Bret admits that "there's no time for a relationship." Oh, well that explains it! Now can we pack it up and call it a day?

Evidently not, because a third season — Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels — is coming to assault your television sets next year, and this time the girls will be stuck on a bus for 30 days. Challenges will revolve around Bret's life on the road: "Whether it’s greeting aggressive groupies with a smile, enduring grueling schedules, dodging the advances of the warm-up band or even stepping in last-minute to fill in for delinquent roadies – these girls will be put to the test."

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why my grandma should invest in a Tivo.

BLAME VIAGRA "Researchers … found that in less than a decade, STD rates had more than doubled among people ages 45 and older. And an author of the study thinks that figure may be low."

For all three people who subject themselves to A Shot at Chlamydia with Tila Tequila every week, you might remember Chad, the same guy who was recently quoted in our prestigious Reality Bytes for his eloquent speech against gay marriage.

Well, Chad got himself into a little trouble on the show this week when he headbutted a fellow contestant, followed by a couple extra punches in the face for good measure. Naturally, he has taken to his MySpace to clear the air with what will surely be looked back upon as one of the century's greatest essays.

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Paris Hilton, who has been described as "wife material" by boyfriend/STD twin Benji Madden, took to a pet shop yesterday in LA to spread the clap to innocent animals.

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WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE? "Scarlett Johansson has lambasted critics who like to label her a 'harlot' just because her appearance fits the stereotype. The blonde bombshell, who has been likened to late screen siren Marilyn Monroe, thinks the fact she is curvy and has platinum locks lays her open to harsh criticism regarding her sexual morals. … She says: 'I have platinum blonde hair, and I'm extremely curvy: I pour myself into a dress and show up and strut my stuff at premieres. Of course I expect people will have certain ideas but it's weird if people associate the fact that I sell handbags or wear a bikini with who I am when I wake up in the morning. People think I'm going to be some brazen harlot, but I'm not out there with every Tom, Dick and Harry or catching hepatitis.'"