Ouch. Another major mistake took place in front of a global audience yesterday evening, but this one isn't as funny as accidentally calling John McCain "that depthless prick currently in the Oval Office." (Accidentally!)

The Bloomberg financial newswire updated and then unintentionally published its pre-written obituary for Apple CEO Steve Jobs. Jobs has battled pancreatic cancer for years now, but he's not dead yet. (In fact, as we speak he's probably inventing some new gadget people will rush out to buy only to have it immediately shatter in their hands.) Bloomberg soon realized its mistake, took down the obit and issued a retraction.

Investors were shitting themselves, of course; not because they were worried about Jobs, mind you, but because they were concerned by what his death meant for their glorious, glorious gobs of money. We hope Jobs realizes this, gets legitimately pissed and screws over all those bastards royally before leaving this increasingly dusty planet.

SICK IN MANY SENSES OF THE WORD "At its Worldwide Developers Conference on Monday, [Apple] announced a new 3G version of the iPhone in a push to target mainstream consumers. But a strong undercurrent at the event focused on the emaciated appearance of co-founder and CEO Steve Jobs. While Jobs looked especially gaunt in his trademark black turtleneck and faded jeans, other Apple executives spent more time on the stage during his keynote address — a notable move for an executive who typically spends much of his speech rallying the Mac faithful and introducing many products himself. This created a dilemma of sorts for those of us in the business and technology press, but it is also not the first time his appearance has caused concern. In 2004, Jobs successfully battled pancreatic cancer, and since then, there has been occasional speculation about his health after one of his public appearances. … Henry Blodget at Silicon Alley Insider apologized upfront for bringing up the personal subject, before wondering if Jobs has had a recurrence of the cancer that he successfully fought but kept hidden from investors until after his surgery."

As the recording industry rape and pillage of 2007 thrusts forth, Madonna has left Warner Music Group for a lucrative deal with, not a record label, but a concert promoter.

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