This weekend I, Cord, am in Las Vegas for the grand opening of the Palazzo Resort and Casino. I'll be trying to attend parties and see Hollywood types traveling through on their way to Sundance. Perhaps I'll be successful, but odds are I will not.

Check back throughout the weekend for exciting notes from the front lines of a budding "hot spot," like how, while waiting to check in, I noticed that the woman in front of me carried a grocery bag full of nothing but a liter of vodka and six bottles of Yoo-hoo. Cheers!

By the way, this picture makes me look like I have "Kid and Play" hair.

The new issue of Jane offers a photo spread with a very simple premise: "We went to Sundance and asked a bunch of stars, "What's your crime?" Then we shot them."

Well get ready, because the stars' answers generally hit you so hard with a one-two combo of boring and puzzling that you might think you're watching Lost. The only two to get it right were Paul Rudd and Sam Rockwell.

Unfortunately, Jane staffers failed to include in the shoot noted Sundance regulars OJ Simpson, Brandy and Roman Polanski. Put your thinking caps on, you three; and be prepared with some wacky "crimes" next year!

PS Who's Amy Ferguson?

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Here are some scans of Jared Leto's Purple magazine shoot in support of his new film, Chapter 27. The movie, panned by many at Sundance, depicts the days leading up to John Lennon's murder, and Leto plays Mark David Chapman, Lennon's assassin.

Chucking the Norbit route, Leto started burning through burgers like they were eyeliner, actually gaining the weight necessary to play Chapman. The photos taken of him at his normal weight were taken six months after the others.

As Jared has a reputation for acting civilly and rationally, I'm certain he shed the weight through hard work and a regimented diet.

Tired of hearing about Sundance swag? So's everyone. Especially the actors that are there to promote movies. So tired of it in fact that, as the New York Daily News reports, they're donating their freebies to better causes. A couple charities have set up shop at Sundance and are offering to auction off whatever swag people don't want. One of the first takers was Adam Brody, who happily dumped off some goods. Nice! Y'know, that guy really puts the bro in Brody.

Anyway, here's the best answer anyone's given thus far when asked about the charity donations; it comes to you from Paul Rudd:

"I actually don't believe in charity," actor's actor Paul Rudd told us. "By working hard and entertaining the world, I think I deserve a cashmere stereo."

Rudd went on to assure everyone he was going to donate. To be sure, funny guys are better than charitable guys. But funny, charitable guys are the best. Eat it, Trump.

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Tara Reid's publicist got lazy following her most recent minor victories, and he foolishly let down his guard last night at Sundance. Next thing you know, it's the bad publicity nuke: "Hey, isn't that Tara Reid on stage getting dry humped by all the rappers?" Uh oh!

Nelly hosted the Budweiser Blender session at Tao and brought in a special performance by Akon. Akon rocked the crowd and even brought up three ladies from the audience to teach the crowd how to really “Smack That.”

Moments later, they stopped the song and Tara Reid was being led on stage by Nelly. Nelly asked Tara if she wanted to get the smack down from Akon. Tara kindly obliged and immediately began dancing to Akon. At the point, Akon grabbed her and literally humped her in front of hundreds of partygoers and continuously smacked her booty.

As Akon was humping her, his DJ thought he’d join in on the fun and they both sandwiched her while still humping and smacking her booty.

Dear Tara Reid's Publicist,

It's pretty obvious she can't be trusted. You need to go third-grade-style buddy system. Hand holding everywhere and waiting for her outside of the bathroom.

Best,

Cord

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I'm not into blog rivalries (I think that's as sad as seeing children fight). So, I'm not saying the dude's lame. BUT, isn't this like the pot calling the kettle shiteous? Whoops!

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I'm not certain what the rules and regulations are in regard to obtaining free stuff at Sundance but, judging from these photos, it looks as if practically anyone can walk in and leave with armfuls of crap they could afford to buy themselves.

A quick scan of Screech's recent work shows he hasn't done a film since 2005 and that his next movie—a story of a time-traveling Hamlet, seriously—isn't being released until later this year, probably in conjunction with his feculent sex tape. But looking at this picture, you'd never guess dude's career was on the decline. If you look closely, you can see that even Screech himself is shocked that they didn't put him out on his ass. Wide eyed, mouth agape, he looks like a klepto who just got away with a heavy haul.

The rest of the photos are no better. There's Nick Cannon, who's covered in gold crowns and looks like a baby playing dress-up. Some guy named Scott Speedman who looks strikingly similar to Benjamin McKenzie. And, speaking of the sinking OC ship, there's the lovable Adam Brody.

The worst thing about trying to take a condescending look at this swag thing is that I'm not above it, and that kinda hurts. Were the offer there, I'm sure I would leave with BOATLOADS of stuff, and I have to admit that to myself. I would horde watches, plane tickets, spa passes, cameras, all of it. Whatever I didn't want I would give to my friends and family and, if I got bored with any of it, I would break it so that others couldn't enjoy it. Help me.

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It's the first day of the Sundance Film Festival and the photos breaking from the event make it look like a cold and bland assortment of actors with nothing better to do. So far we've got Wilmer Valderamma, James Van Der Beek, Bai Ling, John Malkovich and Winona Ryder. Weird, right? I just reread that list and I crinkled my nose up like, "What the fuck? Bai Ling dancing? Where's Julia Roberts in a parka? Where's Maddox making snow angels? And what the fuck does Bai Ling do, anyway?"

I'm assuming major players arrive fashionably late, and I wish these pictures were better/funnier/famous-er, but they're not.