Jennifer Aniston has been keeping busy lately. In between being a desperate hag and ruining Kate and Owen's lovefest, Jen will be writing a tell-all about her life — including the demise of her marriage to Brad.
The former Friends star is allegedly penning a tome that will reveal the details of her split from Brad Pitt and his relationship with Angelina Jolie.
An insider reveals to British newspaper Daily Star, 'This book could ruin Angelina and Brad. Jen will prove that the pen really is mightier than the sword.'
Does Jen realize that the tabloids have already revealed the details behind the Brad-Angie-Jen love triangle? And Star's account was probably way more interesting.
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TABLOIDIBAN "Iran has banned nine lifestyle and cinema magazines for publishing pictures of 'corrupt' foreign film stars and details about their 'decadent' private lives … The publications were banned by the press commission watchdog for 'publishing photographs of corrupt foreign artists and details about their decadent lives.' … The most significant magazines banned are Donya-ye Tasvir (World of the Image), Sobh-e Zendegi (Morning of Life), Talash (Effort) and Haft (Seven). … The latest issue of Donya-ye Tasvir carried articles about several Hollywood female stars including Naomi Watts, Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman, all accompanied by pictures."
It's been only days since Britney Spears dumped him and ruined his semiprecious iPhone, but bumbling carnivore Adnan Ghalib has reportedly already found a new victim, a waitress called Amanda, who must be naïve and lonely.
Also moving on is the press' slight interest in Ghalib. The Sun article from which all this information was derived calls Ghalib "Adnam" throughout.
After offering People magazine exclusive access to pictures of her baby, Max, for the unreasonable sum of $2 million, shrewd new mom Christina Aguilera immediately looked eastward for other markets in which she could pimp her son. UK magazine Hello! won the bidding war over the photos, while Max's soul continued to lose.
Bottom-rung tabloid OK! is learning the hard way that people get upset if you run fake cover stories about their "cancer scare."
TV doctor Eric Dane says he was "mortified" when he saw that OK!'s February 18 cover story intimated he had cancer. The actor is even thinking of filing a lawsuit, says Us Weekly, basking in the fallout of their competitor's destruction.
To be sure, Dane did have some malignant cells burned off his lips with liquid nitrogen, but that just means he's gross, not terminal.
Jennifer Lopez still hasn't given birth to those twins, so we can assume she's still parading around New York City in 5-inch stilettos. But you know what else she's doing? Willing her babies to come out on a particular due date. Hey, if anyone can do it, it's Jenny from the block.
While this date has been bandied about before, a source close to Lopez said Valentine’s Day is the date she’s been focused on since the beginning of her pregnancy. 'She didn’t just like it because of the obvious correlation, which is sweet, but she also was happy that it … would easily make the deadline for the weekly magazine covers.'
We knew we liked J.Lo for a reason: She's considerate of the tabloids. Heath Ledger could have learned a thing or two from her.
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…refusing an interview with one gossip-magazine reporter, [Brittany Murphy placed] her hand gently on the girl's arm and [intoned], "Not for that magazine. Your magazine HURT. MY. LIFE."
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New mother and old news Christina Aguilera was recently disappointed by OK! magazine, reports MSNBC. After several months of negotiations, a deal between the tabloid and the bleached chanteuse got kiboshed when OK! refused to guarantee Aguilera and her new son a full cover.
Aguilera was offended, but OK! was firm, mostly because their numbers don't lie: "…a magazine insider points out that the singer performs well on stage, but not so much on newsstands. 'The OK! wedding cover didn’t sell as well as they hoped, and even her recent Marie Claire cover underperformed, all things considered…'" Then the insider got a little catty, saying, "Christina has an inflated sense of her own value and seems to expect an extortionate amount of money for these baby pictures."
Hand bitten! Gravy train derailed!
Because procuring white children the natural way prevents them from adopting foreign babies and subsequently saving the world just a little bit more, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have devised an ingenious way for their rumored zygotes to benefit others: they want to sell the confirmation.
Us magazine is reporting that the couple will grant the specifics of the pregnancy to the tabloid offering the most money. Then they will donate those ill-gotten proceeds to charity. Why "ill-gotten"? Well, we tend to get very weirded out by body commodification, especially when we're talking about tremendously wealthy people who can afford to not put prices on their and their family's heads. And while this is mostly a case of information about a body being valuable, it still seems slightly off.
Far be it from us, though. And we guess we can get behind anything that makes the competition between the tabloids look even stupider. Happy auctioning, you two!
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Throughout Britney Spears' revolting descent into madness, one thing that remained consistent was her ostensible solitude. That's not to say she was ever by herself, but being around people is different from not being alone. Where were her agents, record execs and brand managers to literally grab her by her fried hair – when she still had it – and force her into reality?
Maybe they sat on their hands because they didn't know she would become so far gone. But maybe they did nothing because they knew they could line their pockets with her insanity. According to Portfolio magazine, for many people, a restless, tormented Britney is worth a lot more than a levelheaded one.
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Heath Ledger had the audacity to die right after the tabloids closed this week's issues. Talk about rude. But some other actor died recently, and some of the magazines decided he was worth a mention. Janice Min even went so far as to dig up some background info on this "Brad Renfro" character.
In place of actual news, we get the usual: Britney continues to be crazy, Scientology continues to be creepy and Jessica Simpson continues her romantic losing streak.
Jamie Lynn is also back in the spotlight this week, and Star and Life & Style managed to create the exact same cover featuring Brit's little sister. Coincidence? Intern Whitney thinks not. CONTINUED »
This week features the return of Brangelina. We hadn't missed them at all, but In Touch insisted on bringing back their favorite couple to grace the cover of this week's magazine. The story: Pregnancy rumors, again.
In other news, Heidi and Spencer are back to annoy us even more, and Britney continues to be absolutely insane. K-Fed is supposedly selling her out. Who would have guessed such a good parent would have ulterior motives?
Also this week: Intern Whitney, along with the state of Texas, hates Jessica Simpson and was totally right about Dannielynn being cross-eyed. CONTINUED »
Yesterday we received an e-mail from Us with this subject line: "EXCLUSIVE: Katie Holmes Registers for Boston Marathon." Today, when we click on the link for the story, 'tis nowhere to be found. What happened?
Did Holmes drop out? Was she ever signed up? Is she, in fact, signed up, but saying she's not due to security issues? Shin splints?
OK! says the dead link is simply due to the fact that Us is full of lie tellers:
"Katie Holmes is not running in the Boston Marathon," her spokeswoman Ina Treciokas tells OK! exclusively, breaking the heart of long-distance-running Dawson's Creek fans everywhere.
The insult to the injury: "…those stories are nothing but wishful dreaming on the part of the editors of faltering tabloid Us Weekly." Faltering! Tabloid wars! First battle will be at Kitson. Let the BlackBerrys fly!
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With her film roles going the way of the pterodactyl, Lindsay Lohan, seen here with a fake tan five o'clock shadow, has turned to a less glamorous means of income. Specifically, she's now pimping photos of herself to tabloids.
Tabloid types are suspicious of a package of photos of Lindsay Lohan going to a recording studio that were offered for sale last week for $30,000.
“They were offered through a photo agency, but they’re clearly staged — she’s in full hair and makeup,” says a snitch.
Idiot! Everyone knows you're not getting $30,000 for flattering photos of a celebrity. Unless it's agonizingly embarrassing or unbelievably personal, it's not worth a damn. Yay, world!
Someone filched photographs of Nicole Richie's Beverly Hills Hotel baby shower and now intends to sell them to the tabs, a major trespass considering Richie had given what was thought to be exclusive coverage rights to InStyle magazine. The prime suspect? Long-fingered embarrassment Paris Hilton.
"All the photos that were offered had Paris right in the center of them, as the star," sniffs the insider. "They look set up."
The pics, priced at around $3,000 to $4,000, did not sell since the celebrity tabloids closed early last week, due to Thanksgiving.
But in the opinion of our conspiracy theorist: "None of the money would have been for Paris — for her it's about the attention."
Didn't that person mean, "For her personality disorder it's about the attention"?
Here's a lesson in absurd, tabloid scare tactics. On the left is a photo of Cate Blanchett being run in the Daily Mail directly beneath a headline that reads "Skeletal Cate shocks at New York fashion gala." On the right is another photo from Cate, taken at the same event and untouched. One can't out-and-out call an organization a bunch of Photoshopping snakes—our litigious society has spoiled the God-given right to libel people for their libelous bullshit—but feel free to draw your own conclusions from the comparison.
Granted, she doesn't look as beautiful or healthy as she did just two months ago at the Academy Awards, and people should have the right to say, in print, that they believe someone looks sickly and anorexic. But doctoring photos to skew the truth is so bad even Karl Rove is shaking his head, going, "What the fuck is up with that, guys?"
Tonight is the premiere of Bravo's new series, Tabloid Wars, about life working for the New York Daily News, and this clip gives us a taste of what we're in for. It looks a lot like my glamorous life, really, only I never flirt with the idea of fruit-tini's. Also, I don't demand drinks from women who aren't actually working for the bar. Also, I barely leave my apartment. I am known to wear pink Polo shirts, however, so it's a pretty spot on facsimile.
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