DEATH IN THE IDOL FAMILY "The mother of [former] American Idol contestant Elliott Yamin died last night in Richmond, Va. She was 65. Claudette Yamin had been hospitalized over the weekend, but a cause of death was not released. … [Elliott] finished in 3rd place in 2006 on Idol, behind Katharine McPhee and Taylor Hicks."
• Colbert is struggling, but we hate Two and a Half Men! How to feel about the writer's strike? [Jossip]
• Let's get one thing straight: Mariah Carey would, indeed, rather sing with JLo than a pig. [DListed]
• It's like he wants you to hate his clothes. [PS]
• There's a charity called Teens for Jeans and Rachel Bilson is shilling for them. Donate if you're for jeans or Rachel Bilson (or both). Adults in khakis need not apply. [HT]
• Taylor Hicks has lost his record deal! Don't tell your lonely aunt, she's sad enough. [ICYDK]
• Jennifer Beals, we should let you know that we've never gotten over our Flashdance crush. Do you like us, too? [INO]
• Fear for this fetus: "On her last prison visit [Amy Winehouse] told Blake that she wants to try and get pregnant as soon as she can. [Yeeeah]
• Photoshop can be scary! [CityRag]
• Guess whether Sienna Miller is into bondage. [Egotastic]
• Gwen Stefani is marching her hexoganal sunglasses right back into the arms of No Doubt. [Yeeeah]
• Penguins still trump Brooding. [PopSugar]
• All My Children is introducing a transgender character. Named Zarf. Zarf. [DListed]
• Kevin Costner is TALLER THAN YOU THINK, Damnit. [Junkiness]
• Lohan's one giant hand. All the better to bitch slap with, my dear. [Hollywood Rag]
• I told you Tom Cruise loves his control top hosiery. [A Socialie's Life]
• Taylor Hicks is an ungrateful little bastard. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Dealing a crushing blow to silver-haired twenty-somethings everywhere, Justin Timberlake has come down strongly against Taylor Hicks and his talent, or lack thereof. The Scoop reports:
“People think he looks so normal, and he’s so sweet and he’s so earnest, but he can’t carry a tune in a bucket,” Timberlake told Fashion Rocks, a supplement of Vanity Fair. Timberlake also thinks that Hicks’ fame is fragile. “If [Hicks] has any skeletons whatsoever, if God forbid, he’s gay, and if all these people in Mississippi who voted for him are like [then he takes on a thick southern accent], ‘Oh my god, I voted for a queer!’ It’s just too much pressure.”
The “Justified” singer has mixed feelings about “American Idol,” the show made Hicks famous. “I have a strange relationship with that show,” he said. “I despise it, yet I’m completely fascinated.”
Clearly, Justin just hates American Idol because he thinks that pop stars should be chosen genuinely, not manufactured in any way. Nope, no artificial or synthetic stardom is acceptable at all in Justin's world. He would never let himself get involved in a project like that. Never. Never ever.
You know who loves Taylor Hicks? AMERICA! America f-ing adores Taylor Hicks. Do you know what else Americans love? WAL-MART! Hoooooray for the ambiguously aged inoffensive goofy man and corporate imperialism. Yeee-haaa.
This morning, I sat through a good portion of the live internet telecast of the Annual Wal-Mart Shareholders meeting in Arkansas, based on information that the one and only Taylor Hicks would be performing live. Unfortunately, it took me watching for a good ten minutes before I realized that I missed the performance, though I did learn a thing or two about Wal-Mart and got a lovely reminder of the guilt I felt when I completely zoned out during meetings when I briefly worked in an office. Why I felt like I needed to pay attention to the Wal-Mart meeting streaming on my computer, I'm not exactly sure.
Anyway, I missed Taylor, so did you, but there is hope. Always hope.
Lucky for you, Taylors one of a kind (or completely phoned in) performance is available on the internet. Check it out. He's spazzy, just the way you a-holes like him.
Why is anyone in America taking this man seriously? I can’t wrap my mind around how the hell this jackass finagled his way into the top two on American Idol. And now he is favored to win? Do you people know what you are encouraging?
Take a step back. Taylor Hicks is 29 years old. Sure, it’s great that he embraces his prematurely grey hair, but he has used it in a conniving and manipulative way. He has convinced everyone to think of him as older so that his act does not seem pathetic and desperate. He sings, dances, and acts like a middle-aged man trying to be hip. The thing is: he’s young. He should actually be hip, not earning votes by peoples general embarrassment for him.
Taylor Hicks was arrested possession of pot when he was in college. Thats fucking cool, man, I don't care, but usually America frowns on this. People pass his arrest off because, come on, it was the 60s. No. It was 1998.
This is a 29-year-old man wearing a baby blue sateen suit without a hint of irony. That is not endearing. That is slightly awkward. Taylor Hicks is the guy at your office who you try not to talk about weekend plans in front of because you know he’ll just invite himself, but somehow he always finds out anyway and comes along and you make fun of him ruthlessly behind his back so that your other friends know that you’re not really friends with him.
You wouldn't vote for that guy, would you?
Editor
