We would like to start out by apologizing to Ted Casablanca for insinuating that he made up a ridiculous rumor about Lauren Conrad hooking up with former BFF Audrina Patridge's on-again hobo boyfriend Justin Bobby. Turns out Ted didn't start the fire — it was Spencer Pratt. We should have seen that one coming.

On Friday we blew off the entire story, insisting that it was so ridiculous nobody could take it seriously. Soon after, both Audrina and Lauren issued statements — Audrina claiming that she's "not sure what to believe" and "these rumors are very confusing and hurtful" while Lauren insisted she would "never hurt a friend like that." For the record, we believe Lauren. No way would she hook up with JB.

Lauren also went on to confirm that Spencer was likely behind the story — much like he was behind her nonexistent sex tape from last year: "Hmmmmmm. I wonder who it could be? I'm baffled….What kind of person would enjoy watching blogs and the press tear me apart?" Naturally, Spencer had something to say. And it was delusional and ugly.

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Time to distract ourselves from the sad state of America yet again: There's a Hills love triangle! Way more important than that stupid bailout.

So Audrina moved out of the house she shared with Lauren and Lo, and nobody really knew why, but A and LC insisted they were still on good terms. Enter Ted Casablanca, quite possibly the world's worst gossip, who decided to spin a tale of Audrina and Lauren fighting over the same man. Believable enough … until he decided to make the Casanova none other than Justin Bobby, the knowledgeable hobo who occasionally creeps onto the show and pretends to like Audrina for some camera time. We love him because he regularly spits out nuggets of wisdom like, "Truth and time tells all." Lauren, however, does not enjoy him.

Ted, who is much like a child making up a bedtime story, said that Lauren and Justin Bobby hooked up behind Audrina's back, but JB later spilled the beans while LC denied it. Don't believe Ted? Here's proof: The girls removed each other from their MySpace top friends. Gasp!

Oh wait, hold the phone: Ted just changed his mind:

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