Oh Dear God, No More Tyrones

Above is a clip from tonight's Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion special, which is basically an hour of everyone hating on Kim, the show's resident "singer." We don't care so much about who's fighting with whom — we just want to know if Kim will continue gifting the world with her beautiful voice. And don't worry, she will. Explains the next Whitney Houston:

The singing in the studio was horrific. What was that? It made for good television. We had been in the studio hours and hours that day and most people know your producer doesn’t sing or stand next to you. He’s on the soundboard. So it made for good television, but my album will speak for itself. … I’m actually working with WEJ Records, it’s an independent label, and they’re negotiating a contract for major distribution.

You hear that? Add it to your Christmas wish list now!

Nov 25, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 13 Responses
Blame Spencer

Some interesting stuff actually happened on The Hills last night, which is a shame because everything was overshadowed by Heidi and Spencer's Wedding of the Century. On the show, Audrina found out that Lauren and Justin Bobby may or may not have hooked up (we're going to go with "no way in hell"), which led to lots of tears in the middle of public places. But the real talk of the night — at least on the series' aftershow — revolved around the Speidi marriage.

Holly Montag, sister of Heidi and roommate of Lauren, took to the talk show to discuss the idiocy of the wedding and appear genuinely sad. She acted like a sister should, claiming she would always love Heidi regardless of her stupid, stupid actions — but visibly teared up when discovering that the couple actually married days ago. Sucks finding out along with the rest of the Us Weekly crowd, huh?

Nov 25, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 4 Responses

Horatio Sanz fell into that "fat funny guy on Saturday Night Live" that always seemed to be hazardous for its occupants health. John Belushi, Chris Farley, and their drug/alcohol problems automatically come to mind. But by the beginning of the new millennium, Lorne Michaels seemed to have learned his lesson, and picked an actor who, while not quite shining like Belushi or Farley, seemed a lot more emotionally stable.

But what has Horatio been doing since he left SNL in 2006? Exercising and eating at Subways, apparently.

Are you guys ready for the "after" pic? You are definitely not ready:

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Nov 25, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 4 Responses
Sarah, Not So Much

Rosie O'Donnell, keeper of Mollygood's trolls, pranced over to The Today Show to discuss with Meredith Viera her upcoming (and ill-advised) variety show that is scheduled to torment your television sets this week. Naturally, the two former View moderators discussed Rosie's latest feud with Barbara Walters, which is likely not going to end anytime soon seeing as how Ro just can't keep her mouth shut. Time must have run short, because Meredith forgot to ask about the infamous Mollygood Celebrity Encounter that everyone's talking about (441 comments and counting, really?). Better luck next time.

Nov 24, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 27 Responses
An Ari Gold administration

Unlike, say, Barack Obama, Saturday Night Live had no problem filling that Rahm Emanuel spot during this week's broadcast. Because although there is only one African-American cast member right now on the show, there's at least 50 Jews hanging out in the green room.

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Nov 24, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 6 Responses

THEM'S FIGHTING WORDS • "In her new fly-on-the-wall documentary for MTV, [Britney Spears] is caught during a candid moment shopping with her assistant. As she holds up a blouse, she says, 'Look, this is very mommy.' Her assistant replies, 'It's very ugly.' Britney wrinkles her nose and laughs, 'It is very Katie Holmes.'"

Nov 24, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 34 Responses
It's Miley!

There's no amount of money in the world that would make us sit through the American Music Awards (OK, that's not entirely accurate), so instead of a write-up of the snooze-fest, here's an exhaustive collection of photos. From the looks of things, Miley Cyrus once again made the entire event all about her (and her 16th birthday, which she's been celebrating for the past few months). Surprise, surprise.

Click through for more photos than your little mouse can click.

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Nov 24, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 6 Responses
Black on Black Auditions

Welp, Lorne Michaels has (begrudgingly, we're sure) decided to hire a new cast member for Saturday Night Live, this one a black male who can pretend to be Barack Obama in poorly written comedy sketches for the next four to eight years. Currently, Fred Armisen, who's of Hispanic, European and Japanese descent, plays the role of Obama on SNL.

After the jump, two of the front-runners in the search for the fake Barack, Wyatt Cenac and Jordan Carlos. We think Carlos has him beat, but who knows! SNL hasn't made any good decisions in years.

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Nov 21, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 16 Responses
FAIL

Lipstick Jungle, the NBC Sex and the City-style show that's still in danger of being axed from the network's prime-time lineup, must be getting really desperate to create a buzz. On the show's "behind the scenes" YouTube channel, a video just went up with this caption: "Oh. My God. You're NEVER gonna believe what I caught on the set of Lipstick Jungle!!! Robert Buckley AKA Kirby OUT OF CONTROL!!! AND HOTTER THEN EVER!! GRRRR!!!"

Uh, no. We're not going to complain about Robert Buckley stripping down to his skivvies, but this is so painfully set up and awkward that we can't help but roll our eyes. How did this one show get so out of touch with reality?

Nov 21, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 3 Responses

It's about time someone finally gave us more information on the latest installment of MTV's A Shot at Love with the Ikki Twins, Rikki and Vikki. The reality competition, a sure sign of the end of days, will begin Dec. 9 with 12 straight men and 12 gay women vying for the affections of these STD-ridden whores.

So who are these women who will soon capture the hearts of Americans both young and old? They have quite a resume, having worked for Hooters, Import Tuner, Fast & Sexy and Playboy. And for those of you hoping to romance the women, listen up: Rikki says she likes to "watch the Padres at Hooters and have the date take care of the bill" while Vikki prefers to "be in a bikini and there'll be candles, a blanket on the sand and a big bowl of chocolate!" Klassy.

Nov 21, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 3 Responses
Life Is Tough

See these smiling, joyous faces? They won't be around this year, because Oprah is no longer doing her Favorite Things, thanks to the flatlining economy. Well, technically she is, but it's all going to be stuff she dug out of a dumpster in her studio's back alley. According to Harpo, the show "will showcase some of Winfrey's things that cost next to nothing, including a special gift that won't cost a thing."

Did you hear that? Hugs for everyone!

[Source]

Nov 21, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 29 Responses
Happy Thanksgiving!

In honor of Thanksgiving, Sarah Palin performed one of our favorite traditions, pardoning a turkey. That's great and heartwarming and all, until she conducts a post-pardon interview with turkeys being killed in the background. Fantastic.

Clip after the jump.

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Nov 21, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 23 Responses
He Doesn't Even Shave!!

• This video of a gang of David Archuleta fans discovering the results of American Idol is both glorious and disturbing. [DListed]

• A potential new law could limit the paparazzi's access to stars near schools or hospitals. This is only, what, two years too late? [INO]

John Mayer met Jennifer Aniston's parents. For those of you who care. [Yeeeah]

Britney Spears might surprise everyone with a top-secret American Music Awards performance. What could possibly go wrong? [PS]

• Finally, some real men. [CityRag]

ABC cancels three shows from its primetime lineup. Times are tough. [ICYDK]

Nov 21, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 18 Responses
Who Still Uses A Land Line?

David Letterman, still irked that John McCain chose to go on Katie Couric instead of his show, calls up the perky CBS news anchor and demands an explanation. Her excuse? McCain never mentioned that he was supposed to be on The Late Show.

What a liar! Also, keep ridin' that zeitgeist, Dave!

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Nov 21, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 1 Response
No But Seriously, Where Are The Trolls?

Official Mollygood sweetheart Rosie O'Donnell is at it again, this time responding to Barbara Walters' response to Rosie's statement that the ladies of The View don't always like each other. The fact that she can sit around and do stuff like this all day makes us confused — do we laugh and think it's awesome or cry and think it's sad?

Nov 21, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 16 Responses

SO LONG, FAREWELL • "Dancing With the Stars' Julianne Hough says she may be hanging up her dancing shoes for good. 'I won't be on Dancing this spring season. I don't know about the fall. Maybe, maybe not. We'll see. … I'm definitely going to focus on the music.'"

[Source]

Nov 20, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 5 Responses
Nobody Listens

Seriously, you guys. It pains me after a while, having to shatter the Britney Is All Better! facade, because it's clearly not true. This new improved Brit is being forced upon the public in a pathetic attempt to get her career back on track, and all the while she's desperately crying out for help. But her album is going to sell well, and that's all that matters, right? As long as the cash cow delivers.

New quotes have leaked from the upcoming MTV documentary Britney: For the Record, and it's just getting worse and worse:

My trust has really been battered. … Sometimes it can get kinda lonely. … I had totally lost my way. I lost focus. I lost myself. I let certain people into my life that were just bad people, because I was lonely. I really paid the consequences for that. Big time … What the hell was I thinking?

Do I know my life is weird? It's all I've ever known. I don't see it as being weird…I'm kind of stuck in this place and I'm like, How do you deal? I just cope with it every day…It's better not to feel anything at all and have hope than to feel the other way…It's bad. I'm sad. [She breaks down into tears.] Normal is really different for everybody…In my situation, I try to make it as normal as possible for me…It could be a lot worse. There are people out there who have it a lot worse than I do…I used to be a cool chick but I feel like the paparazzi has taken that away from me, like, the way I used to live my life. I used to be a cool chick but I'm not anymore.

Um, hello?! Is anybody listening to this girl? SHE NEEDS HELP! What is wrong with people?!

Nov 20, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 32 Responses
Real Fake People!

Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.


10. "Crawling on the floor is really hard on your knees, but you can make a really great entrance that way." — Holly, The Girls Next Door

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Nov 20, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 16 Responses