GOOD RIDDANCE "Teri Hatcher's uncle — whom she helped put in prison for molesting her, as well as two young girls — has died. Richard Hayes Stone, 70 — who had been serving a 14-year sentence at Chuckawalla Valley State Prison in Blythe, Calif. — passed away of colon cancer on Tuesday."
So last night was the Mariah Carey hour on American Idol, and it was just as much the train wreck as we expected. The girls failed to deliver, David Archuleta refused to go away and Mariah gave lots of awkward half-smiles as she offered the contestants advice.
We couldn't pick one favorite performance from the evening, so we'll let you decide between our top two picks. CONTINUED »
Tonight's the big night: American Idol will try to raise over $100 million for charity by pimping out Brad Pitt and punishing the world with a Teri Hatcher performance. Whitney will be there to guide you through the process tonight on Mollygood, because she is the only person who is excited about this fiasco. CONTINUED »
IDOL GIVES NIGHTMARES "Teri Hatcher will sing on the American Idol Gives Back special to air next Wednesday. She'll back up The Band From TV, which includes her Desperate Housewives co-star James Denton, House's Hugh Laurie, Heroes' Greg Grunberg and Cashmere Mafia's Bonnie Somerville."
• This is the cover of the decade. [YouTube]
• Let the backbiting commence. [DListed]
• She won! Holly Madison won! [EBG]
• LA makes everyone a little depressed, not just these two. [PS]
• Katherine Heigl was voted the world's most desirable woman by a bunch of men who obviously lack vision. [HT]
• Here is Teri Hatcher laughing at a friend on crutches. Enjoy. [INO]
• Justin Chambers from Grey's Anatomy checked himself into the same psych ward holding Britney Spears. Group just got more interesting! [ICYDK]
• Breaking: Celebrities have obsessed fans. [CityRag]
Members of the Filipino medical community are indignant with ABC after a crack aimed at their subset of a subset aired on an episode of Desperate Housewives, once believed to be television's last bastion of cultural sensitivity.
Teri [Hatcher's]…character told a doctor that she needed to check his diplomas just [to be sure] they didn't come "from some med school in the Philippines." Some believe this was a racial slur against Filipinos.
Rude! And if a television station's fictional characters are racist, so must be its personnel. So what's ABC going to do to prove their offices aren't full of despicable bastards yanking their eyes into slants at the water cooler?
ABC is apparently in talks with the organization about creating more jobs for Filipino Americans and how to take action regarding the grievances of the Filipino American community.
They're giving them jobs! Because money makes irrational outrage go away.
[Source]
Last evening marked the 59th Annual Emmy Awards (which I've heard were unyieldingly boring). Although they remain one of the least merit-based awards in history, the Emmys are one of the sharpest, and that should count for something.
After the jump, the gowns! Oh, the gowns!
CONTINUED »
A disagreeable – and presumably painted – Teri Hatcher, famous for her oft-bad acting on Lois & Clark, reportedly became bellicose with NY Daily News reporters last evening after the Badgley Mischka fashion show. Gossip!
Hatcher refused press interviews and demanded the W lounge be closed down for herself. We were in the W and graciously got up when Hatcher demanded, "I need these seats." When the Desperate one noticed us listening to her list of demands (she barked orders at her assistants about her hair, her clothing, and the time she needed to effectively make herself up all over again), her peeps at Badgley M had us removed. We were happy to go.
As you should have been, Daily News. As you should have been.
After the jump, more of this audacious battle-ax.
CONTINUED »
Eva Longoria and Tony Parker were wed on Saturday in a Parisian church service, the celebratory follow-up to the civil ceremony the couple already completed. Guests included Longoria's Desperate Housewive's costars Felicity Huffman, Teri Hatcher and Nicollette Sheridan. AC Slater was also in attendance, and he said he found France to be "bitchin'," before shoving Screech into the Arc de Triomphe. The busty one in the frosted lipstick? That's Parker's mom. France is delightful.
Eva Longoria and Tony Parker made it official in Paris today. They were wed in a civil ceremony officiated by the city's mayor. In a sacreligious but rational move, French law requires couples to marry before city hall even if they plan on also exchanging vows before God. Tomorrow the couple will throw a now unnecessary and lavish wedding in anticipation of being paid $2 million for the photographs the event shall yield. Along with that check, the already wealthy Mr and Mrs Tony Parker should also expect tomorrow's affair to amass close to two million whispered "Why the fuck did we get them a gift?"s.
More under here.
CONTINUED »
• The Onion wins! [BWE]
• Akon is back to violating young people, and probably his parole. [DListed]
• Megan Fox: in. Lohan et al: fuckin' out! [HT]
• Celebrities with such little imagination they go to The Ivy in London, too. [ICYDK]
• Details once again loosens up its loafers and gets gay. [Jossip]
• Stop worrying about Gigli. Affleck's a mensch. [Glitterati]
• Heigl stabbing to death all your My Father the Hero crushes. [Yeeeah]
• LaChapelle is an oracle and a gimmicky artist! [CityRag]
Here's a video of George Bush Sr. getting cozy with Teri Hatcher to accompany the earlier link. Be sure to look out for the part when he pats her on the ass like she's his teammate (around 1'10").
Considering the fact that Hollywood is about as blue as a blue state can be, teeming with limousine liberals chomping at the bit for Bush blood, it's rather ballsy of Hatcher to even be seen with Bush Sr., let alone seen kissing him. Good for her. Although, with many of her colleagues paying big money to meet Barak Obama, I don't think she'll be drumming up any major support for the GOP come '08.
It ain't easy being red in California.
[Source]
• Dita really knocking the women's movement on it's ass. [DListed]
• Kim Kardashian really does have a sex tape. Ray J really does have a penis! [Jossip]
• Lost is back. Never seen it. [Glitterati]
• I didn't even know Tila Tequila was a real person. I thought she was like Princess Zelda. [IDLYITW]
• Bush Sr. going in for a wet one with Teri Hatcher. Sick! [ICYDK]
• Tom Cruise sends tracking device, oh, I mean "cell phone" to Dakota Fanning. WTF?! Who gives cell phones as gifts to other people's kids. You're off the weird charts again, Tom. Tone it down. [ASL]
• Wilmer? Really that upsetting? [CityRag]
• Brad Pitt moves to Berlin and immediately reinvigorates their "master race" ambitions. [JJ]
Maybe all the rumors about Teri Hatcher being quite the drinker are completely unfounded. Maybe the reason she's always smelling like Merlot is because she bathes in the stuff.
Teri Hatcher's latest beauty regime involves pouring a glass a wine into her bath.
The Desperate Housewives actress has stopped drinking the calorific tipple, but is an advocate of its skin-softening properties.
A source told the Daily Telegraph: "Teri Hatcher is one of an increasing number who has started pouring a glass of wine into her bath every day.
"She would never drink it, but she claims bathing in it keeps her skin soft."
"She would never drink it?" Come oooooooon. Anyway, I think it might be working. Because she's looking great for 41.
I tried bathing in piña coladas once. It didn't work, and it was awkward watching the plumber get all the mini umbrellas out of the drainpipe (he doesn't have the right to judge me).
• Happy Anniversary to Christina and Jordy. May all your years be filled with red lipstick and assless chaps. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Hilary Duff is so Jane. Fer real. [PITNB]
• Teri Hatcher can have Eva Longoria's semi-hein leftovers, for all Eva cares. [PopSugar]
• Kelly Ripa is not amused by Clay Aiken's wacky antics. [BWE]
• It's the partial highlights of love. [DListed]
• I don't care who you are, forcing your friends to watch you kiss for three minutes outside of on a sex tape is just rude. [Celebrity Mound]
As Jessica Simpson continues to completely inexplicably pummel (is is too late for a last minute comeback?) Katie Holmes in Round Two of this little Dead Eye-Off, there are other battles to be fought. Namely a pill popping catfight between Lindsay Lohan and Teri Hatcher. May the best broad win.
Voting Finished. Woo Hoo!
Lindsay Lohan: 73% (929 Votes)
Teri Hatcher: 27% (347 Votes)
Winner: Lindsay Lohan
Like yesterday, this poll goes until tonight at midnight EST.
Again, new to the Dead Eye-Off, all past information here.
And now for our most random (and greatest age ranged) Round One Match-Up. Are Teri Hatcher's Botox flaps any match for Jamie Lynn Spears' vast emptiness wrought by living through her sister's rise to stardom, subsequent fall from grace, and knowledge that no matter what, JL herself will never be as famous?
Voting Finished. Wheeee!
Teri Hatcher: 51% (643 Votes)
Jamie Lynn Spears: 49% (609 Votes)
Winner: Teri Hatcher
In other DEO news, three of the five current battles are hovering around a 50/50 split. Only Lindsay Lohan and Katie Holmes have been able to achieve healthy leads over their opponents (though no one is safe yet). So, keep voting. Of course, let me know if there is any way to improve this for you guys. Sorry that these next few will be all crammed together; I want each match-up to have enough time to be a fair battle. More normal MollyGood posts coming. Scout's honor.
This poll, and all other first round voting, will be shut down at midnight EST.
New to the Dead Eye-Off? Full story here.
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