HAPPY HOLIDAYS! LOVE, AL-QAEDA "Federal authorities are warning law enforcement personnel of a possible terror plot against the New York City subway system during the holiday season. An internal memo obtained by The Associated Press says the FBI has received a 'plausible but unsubstantiated' report that al-Qaida terrorists in late September may have discussed attacking the subway system."

MORMON TEMPLES UNDER ATTACK AFTER PROP 8 PASSAGE • "Letters containing a suspicious white powder were sent Thursday to Mormon temples in Los Angeles and Salt Lake City that were the sites of protests against the church's support of California's gay marriage ban. The temple in the Westwood area of Los Angeles was evacuated before a hazardous materials crew determined the envelope's contents were not toxic, said FBI spokesman Jason Pack. The temple in downtown Salt Lake City, where the church is based, received a similar envelope containing a white powder that spilled onto a clerk's hand. … Protests in recent days have targeted the Mormon church, which encouraged its members to fight the recently passed amendment banning gay marriage in California." [Photo]

Barack Obama's angry white terrorist pal, Bill Ayers, will sit down with Good Morning America tomorrow to give his first televised interview since Obama's victory.

The distinguished professor of education is expected to say exactly what he said last week when the Washington Post interviewed him: that he's made some mistakes and that he really doesn't know Barack Obama at all, just like Obama himself tried to tell all the yapping Republican dunderheads for weeks and weeks.

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And the point of this whole thing is to win. But the other point, equally important, is to look back and say, "How did I play the game? How did I do it? Did I do the things that I wanted to do? And did I do the right thing? Or am I kind of embarrassed? Do I regret that I ran that ad or did something?" The older you get, the more you're concerned about your place in history. And I'm very concerned about my place in history, and I just wouldn't do that stuff. It's not worth it.

-John McCain, friend of known liar Joe the Plumber, ACORN-baiter and McCarthyist, in an interview on the campaign trail in 2000

Goddamn is the Republican presidential campaign getting depressing. If this video can't lead you to believe that McCain and the lady from up north are in trouble, nothing can, because you're in the tank for bomb-bomb-bombs. That said, we're still gonna do our best to convince you to otherwise.

After the jump, more signs McCain and his weak crew have given up on this POTUS thing, just like you should.

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Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn, the married "terrorists" with whom Barack Obama was accused of palling around, will celebrate Barack's takeover of America in 2009 by releasing a book about the evils of white supremacy.

With all the free publicity its authors have been getting in the past few months, look for Race Course to pop up on a best seller list near you. (Wait 'til Fox News gets that thank you letter!)

Here's the video from today's episode of The View that we were talking about earlier. Elisabeth Hasselbeck got in on the political discussion with some new talking points from her friends at FOX News, all but calling Barack Obama a terrorist. This angered the ladies (minus Joy Behar, who was disappointingly absent) — even prompting Whoopi to nearly curse on the air. Instead, Sherri and Barbara attempted to reason with her while controlling their rage, which is entertaining in itself after last week's fiasco.

At this point, it's blatantly obvious that everyone hates Elisabeth and wants her gone. The sooner the better.

The hateful, self-loathing and oft-incorrect Sarah Palin and her wild ranting about Barack Obama's "terrorist connections" got me thinking today about pop culture, language and an easily manipulated public.

For instance, it's amazing how quickly those on the far right decry Obama's ties to Weather Underground founder Bill Ayers, no matter how flimsy (or even non-existent) they might be, simply because Palin uses the dreaded t-word to describe the now professional Ayers and his former associates. I also find it to be endlessly confounding how many of my most liberal friends in New York and Los Angeles loved The Dark Knight, a movie whose main point seemed to be that the PATRIOT Act is righteous and necessary. How frightening the word terrorist has become in our zeitgeist, and how easily grand explosions and attractive movie stars can mold peoples' perceptions.

I decided to highlight this phenomenon with a non-comprehensive list of the American public's most favorite terrorists. You'll notice that many of the people after the jump have been described as "freedom fighters" (what a cute little shift in terms) by the men portraying them, all of whom are handsome and white.

As always, feel free to use the comments section for complaints about omissions or inclusions.

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Sherri Shepherd, bless her heart, reared her slightly empty head today on The View to stand up to resident crazy Elisabeth Hasselbeck. The ladies' Friday show was pretaped, so today they threw in extra chirping about Thursday night's debate. Can you guess who Elisabeth thought did the best job? She tried to convince the other women, which is when Sherri "I haven't thought about whether the earth is flat or round" Shepherd got riled up and spewed some semi-coherent thoughts for the first time in her life. We never thought we'd say this, but: Good for you, Sherri!

The transcript of the smackdown is after the jump. Things got much more heated later in Hot Topics when the discussion turned to Obama's "terrorist ties," but asking someone to transcribe that mess is like asking someone to walk on water. It ain't happening. Hopefully there will be video for you later in the day.

Update: Video here.

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Like two bees trapped in a jar, intelligent Republicans who know Sarah Palin is a terrible dolt and the crazed wackos still supporting the Alaskan governor are currently in a fight to the death. Let's stand on high like Romans watching the gladiators, shall we?

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An 11-year-old in [Colorado] says his first amendment rights are being trampled after he was suspended for wearing a homemade shirt that reads "Obama is a terrorist's best friend."
…
The boy's father Dann Dalton describes himself as a "proud conservative" who has taken part in some controversial anti-abortion protests. Dalton says the school made a major mistake by suspending his son for wearing the shirt.

"It's the public school system," Dalton says. "Let's be honest, it's full of liberal loons."

[Source]

Today marks the seventh anniversary of the horrific attacks on the World Trade Center, and Samantha Ronson, of all people, wrote a quite eloquent MySpace post in honor of the tragedy. Sure, it's not Shakespeare, but it's coherent and touching, which is all we could ask of a person who tends to think only about herself.

Full text, after the jump.

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First the Wall Street Journal posited that The Dark Knight was about the war on terror and that Batman was President Bush. Now this, from New York Post film critic Kyle Smith:

Batman is not charming. He isn't popular, partly because he's a zealot and partly because he doesn't bother to explain himself to the press. He is independently wealthy, having spent years as the head of an industrial company. His methods are disturbing, his operations bathed in darkness. He is misunderstood, mistrusted, endlessly pursued by the attack dogs of the night…. And he lives in an undisclosed location. Isn't it obvious? Batman is Dick Cheney with hair.

(emphasis added)

The terrorists have won: Rumor has it Heidi Montag was invited to attend the White House Correspondents gala. Unfortunately for absolutely no one, Heidi backed out because nobody would pay for boyfriend Spencer Pratt to shadow her.

MSNBC had invited Montag to be a guest at its table at the Washington Hilton. 'Then Spencer got involved as her manager,' a source told Page Six. 'He demanded first-class tickets for both him and Heidi — even though he wasn't invited.'

When the network balked, Pratt canceled Montag's appearance, claiming, according to our source, 'It wasn't "A-listy" enough.'

MSNBC understandably denied ever having invited them, but a rep for Speidi (read: Spencer) said that there was simply a scheduling conflict — but they always travel together. Of course they do! Heidi would sit with a blank stare on her face without Spencer around to tell her what to feel/think/say.

[Source]

See, smokers? Cigarettes are like 9/11. Every time you smoke, you're being a terrorist. No, we have no idea how the two are similar, but when did controversial imagery stop being a strong case for and against things? So, thanks a lot, you bastards.

Fun fact: More than one rabid, unthinking ad agency thought this would be a good idea.