TEXANS REJOICE! "TMZ has learned that the romance between Jessica Simpson and hotshot QB Tony Romo is as dead as the Cowboys' 2007 playoff run. Their reps have been going on the record saying that they're not split, but our sources — who know what's really going on — say the two have cut the cord … at least for now."

OK, we know it seems classist for us to post pictures of the chintzy souvenirs some stores in Texas are selling to commemorate the marriage of First Daughter Jenna Bush, but our intention isn't to give you a laugh at the expense of red state inelegance. Instead, shudder at the fact that those flowery squares are mouse pads, meaning there are people who presumably have access to the Internet who still don't know enough to not herald this union.

For reasons unknown, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo was asked to help sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" at Sunday's Chicago Cubs game. Judging by his vocal technique, it seems someone has been taking lessons from girlfriend Jessica Simpson.

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Over the past couple of days I have been told by friends, family and co-workers that perhaps I am a bit too emotionally involved with Jason Castro's run on American Idol. So it's probably best for both me and Jason that he was voted off last night, although that's not to say the sadness has subsided. I'm going to be down for a few days, but life goes on. And Jason seemed very relieved to be done with that whole mess — even requesting at the last minute to replace "Mr. Tambourine Man" with "I Shot the Sheriff" as his sing-out song, much to the horror of the judges. Last night's show reminded me of why I adore Jason, what with his off-the-wall comments and endearingly honest responses. It's a shame he won't get the special final three hometown visit, but, from one Aggie to another, you made Texas A&M very proud, Jas. You will be missed.

For all of you Archuleta lovers who keep saying Jason isn't talented, I leave you with his best performances during his Idol run.

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Tonight is huge in American Idol land, because the three contestants who survive Wednesday night's elimination will get hometown visits. And after the awful weeks Jason Castro has endured (Andrew Lloyd Webber being disgusted by his dreadlocks, PaulaGate '08), it would be fabulous to send him back to Texas where he can receive a vindicated welcome from his fans. Jason's fellow Texas A&M students are doing all they can to support him this week — issuing flyers, hosting watch parties and urging everyone to vote for a fellow Aggie in order to bring him back to College Station. But one cannot underestimate the cockroach-like survival skills of Syesha Mercado, who refuses to go away. And sure, she's got a nice voice. But wouldn't it be nice if someone made it to the finals who didn't feel the need to screech glory notes week after week? Jason doesn't look like he should be in a Disney movie. He sang in public only five times before he auditioned for Idol. He doesn't lose his sense of self in an effort to please the judges or the Bush lovers of America who think, just because he has dreads, he is a stoner and therefore evil. Somehow, he has survived thus far.

So here's my plea: Vote for Jason tonight. If you need any reminders of why he's awesome, click through for one of his first public appearances ever.

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This is what Jenna Bush's fiancé, Henry Hager, looks like, which you must have expected.

Bush and Hager will be married this Saturday at a ceremony on the Bush family ranch in Crawford, Texas. Once the nuptials are official, Hager's father, the head of the Republican party in Virginia, and Jenna's father, world-raper, will both sign a blood pact and bide their time until Henry and Jenna's firstborn son leads the WASPs to glory and expeditiously vanquishes sinners.

From the Dallas, Texas area (in Jason Castro country, oddly enough): American Idol contestant David Cook is apparently running for mayor.

Tony Romo celebrated another year of life Saturday night in Dallas, and girlfriend Jessica Simpson was there to cause a scene, because nobody else is allowed to take the spotlight away from her.

To kick off the evening's festivities, Jess took to the microphone and sang "Happy Birthday," much to the disappointment of everyone else in attendance. But then when it was time to unveil the cake, things took a turn for the worse.

'She licked cake from his face as everyone cheered them on. It was quite a spectacle,' says one club insider. 'But they looked really happy together. Jessica had blue icing all over her hands and mouth and Tony was laughing.'

If you have yet to eat lunch, feel free to view the rest of the photos here.

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Here's something we hoped would never happen again: Jessica Simpson is trying for another TV show.

[Simpson] is in talks with CMT to star in a special chronicling her life as she records her upcoming country album.

'We have had exploratory talks with Jessica's camp, but nothing has been confirmed or signed,' a CMT rep tells Usmagazine.com.

Her rep tells Us it is 'not for a reality show. Jessica is finishing her country album in Nashville. They’re in talks with CMT for a special timed to air when the album is released, but there’s no truth whatsoever to there being a reality show.'

If Jessica were to star in a reality show, what should the premise be? We're partial to a Thunderdome-type set-up in which she battled everyone in the state of Texas. We would watch.

[Source]

Blonde Ambition, the comparable Jessica Simpson's latest celluloid abomination, opened over the weekend in the only place that would allow it into theaters: Texas.

The film was shown on only eight screens throughout Simpson's massive chili bowl of a home state, grossing less than $1,200 in three days. (That means it made less than $50 per theater per day!)

We say this is equally embarrassing for Texas, movies and Jessica Simpson, though the people who saw it are more shameful than all three.

[Source]