Yankees d-bag Alex Rodriguez and musical d-bag Madonna had a "meeting of the minds," if you will, last week at Jerry Seinfeld's mansion in the Hamptons. And, because these two losers can't do anything quietly, it was a huge James Bond-like production.
A chopper carrying the Yankee slugger was seen landing in East Hampton, where he was picked up in a white Porsche 911 matching the description of Jessica [Seinfeld]'s car. Less than 40 minutes later, another helicopter that took off from Chelsea Piers with Madonna aboard landed at the same airstrip.
'A dark SUV and Jerry in another Porsche both pulled up and picked up Madonna and they headed back to Jerry's place,' a witness told us. … 'About four hours later, the dark SUV left the house and took them all back to the airport.'
We did not need to know any of this. Seriously, the images haunting our mind right now are worse than that freaky clown from a few posts below.
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Recently disclosed government documents reveal that celebrity ex-mayor of New York Rudolph 9iu1ian1 billed "obscure city agencies" for tens of thousands of dollars in security expenses, all while wooing his then mistress (now wife) Judith Nathan in a months-long extramarital affair taking place all over the swanky, nauseous Hamptons.
The documents…show that the mayoral costs had nothing to do with the functions of the little-known city offices that defrayed his tabs, including agencies responsible for regulating loft apartments, aiding the disabled and providing lawyers for indigent defendants.
This weekend at the Hamptons, the world's oldest baby, Tommy Lee, publicly and shamelessly had sexual intercourse with – but of course – a blond woman. (We'll go out on a limb and guess she also had clownish implants.)
Lee's raunchy bar behavior grossed out a room full of revelers at Dune in the Hamptons on Sunday night when the Motley Crue drummer and a blond party girl "were flat-out [bleep]ing" on a banquette, according to multiple witnesses. One told us, "When Tommy walked in, he asked, 'Is it cool to have sex in here?' The hostess thought he was kidding, but . . . then he just went to town with this girl.
Palliating some of the disgrace of Lee's actions is that extravagantly displaying one's cock is de rigueur in the Hamptons, the difference is that most people have the decency to leave theirs in the parking lot.
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If you love the Hamptons so much, why don't you buy a house there and stay in it forever, only exiting the darkness of your splendor for $15 tomato soup? Please?
More merrymakers after the jump.
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Is it uncouth to request your party guests don't bring creepy dates who are noticeably ill? One would imagine that such a person would make everyone else feel a tad uncomfortable, thereby putting a damper on the whole affair. Though I suppose people who like to attend events in the Hamptons are skilled at ignoring ugly realities.
More after the jump.
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I thought that I could never care less about the kinds of self-indulgent shopaholics who litter polo fields in the Hamptons. Thanks for reminding me to never say never, you two!
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