• There's nothing better than LOLCats. [CityRag]
• Lauren, Lo and Audrina all went to an LA nightclub together. This might be exciting for all two of you who have been keeping up with the LC-Audrina feud. [ICYDK]
• Hugh Hefner's new girlfriends have a criminal past. Raise your hand if you're surprised. [DListed]
• Eva Mendes has some harsh words for Jennifer Lopez. J.Lo's going to be pissed. [INO]
• Britney Spears makes us sad when she says things like this: "You’re guarded. You have to be that way, so I’m kind of stuck in this place and it’s like: How do you deal? And you just cope, and that’s what I do. I just cope with it, every day." [Yeeeah]
• Don't worry, everyone: Leonardo DiCaprio's might have saved his relationship with Bar Rafaeli. Because Leo being back on the market would just be terrible. [PS]
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Wanna know why I have on a hood today? Why I'm so theatrical? Because your photo shoot was theatrical — at the awards ceremony for the Fiercees. So for this judging I decided to be Little Black Riding Hood." — Tyra, America's Next Top Model
We would like to start out by apologizing to Ted Casablanca for insinuating that he made up a ridiculous rumor about Lauren Conrad hooking up with former BFF Audrina Patridge's on-again hobo boyfriend Justin Bobby. Turns out Ted didn't start the fire — it was Spencer Pratt. We should have seen that one coming.
On Friday we blew off the entire story, insisting that it was so ridiculous nobody could take it seriously. Soon after, both Audrina and Lauren issued statements — Audrina claiming that she's "not sure what to believe" and "these rumors are very confusing and hurtful" while Lauren insisted she would "never hurt a friend like that." For the record, we believe Lauren. No way would she hook up with JB.
Lauren also went on to confirm that Spencer was likely behind the story — much like he was behind her nonexistent sex tape from last year: "Hmmmmmm. I wonder who it could be? I'm baffled….What kind of person would enjoy watching blogs and the press tear me apart?" Naturally, Spencer had something to say. And it was delusional and ugly. CONTINUED »
• Angelina Jolie has two new tattoos. Alert the media! [PS]
• Guess which two Hills idiots are hanging out again. [HT]
• Amy Winehouse's nose is falling off, but we'd say that's the least of her worries. [Yeeeah]
• Tom Cruise is a decent human being sometimes. Crazy, but decent. [INO]
• Speaking of Tom: He's working baby Suri to the bone, poor thing. [DListed]
• Fashion Week continues to make us scared and confused. Is that lady wearing pantyhose on her head? Is her body backwards? Nobody knows. [ICYDK]
[Source]
Time to distract ourselves from the sad state of America yet again: There's a Hills love triangle! Way more important than that stupid bailout.
So Audrina moved out of the house she shared with Lauren and Lo, and nobody really knew why, but A and LC insisted they were still on good terms. Enter Ted Casablanca, quite possibly the world's worst gossip, who decided to spin a tale of Audrina and Lauren fighting over the same man. Believable enough … until he decided to make the Casanova none other than Justin Bobby, the knowledgeable hobo who occasionally creeps onto the show and pretends to like Audrina for some camera time. We love him because he regularly spits out nuggets of wisdom like, "Truth and time tells all." Lauren, however, does not enjoy him.
Ted, who is much like a child making up a bedtime story, said that Lauren and Justin Bobby hooked up behind Audrina's back, but JB later spilled the beans while LC denied it. Don't believe Ted? Here's proof: The girls removed each other from their MySpace top friends. Gasp!
Oh wait, hold the phone: Ted just changed his mind: CONTINUED »
Taco Bell, bless its heart, hosted a "Reality Check Challenge" to help solve world hunger yesterday in LA. And who did the restaurant enlist to help? Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, obviously the most charitable couple in Hollywood. Instead of bringing light to the world's food issues, the reality show duo made us vomit up our last meal.
[Source]
We care about our readers, so this is a public service announcement: The world is ending. How do we know this? Simple: It says in the Book of Xenu that a handful of celebrities will be arrested within a matter of days, then the Clay Aiken Claby will arrive at 8:08 on 08/08/08, and finally, both Brangelina and Britney Spears will step foot in New York City at the same time.
The final step occurred today when Brad and Angelina arrived in Manhattan with their army of children in tow, while Britney also spent her day with some kids in the Bronx. You know what comes next: The battle for the world's soul between Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Suri Cruise (yeah, she's here too). … Or maybe we've had too much to drink. We blame Sarah Palin. She killed Rupert, you know. CONTINUED »
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "My team is a bunch of freakin' hooganigans." — Heat, I Love Money
Those useless Hills girls have cranked out yet another overpriced clothing line. This time the two masterpieces were designed by the lovely Whitney Port, and while the dresses are leaps and bounds more impressive than anything designed by that twit Heidi Montag, we don't understand who in her right mind would pay five hundred dollars for that black dress. We don't care how many sequins Whit managed to cram onto that thing.
If anyone doesn't want to talk politics, I'm offering a different alternative: Let's discuss The Hills in depth, shall we? For the three of you who didn't run back to the Palin posts, let's proceed. Last night's episode was fairly awesome thanks to Darlene Montag, the woman who birthed and raised the nightmare we know as Heidi. Darlene suffered through a one-on-one lunch with devilish Spencer, who was a complete and total ass to her ("I don't get uncomfortable, my dear") and then cried real tears for her lost cause of a daughter, claiming that Spence is the biggest d-bag that ever lived.
Except, you know, it was all fake. First off, Darlene showed up in this episode to "surprise" Heidi for her birthday. Heidi's birthday is Sept. 15. Darlene claimed she hadn't seen Heidi in months and had no idea she was living with Spencer. Please. It's not like she hasn't DVR'd every episode of The Hills and cut out each cheesy tabloid spread featuring Speidi to tape to her refrigerator. Also? If Darlene just showed up two weeks ago, how does she explain this, the photo shoot she had with Speidi and Joe Francis in early August?
Methinks this desperate need for the MTV cameras' attention runs in the family.
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I feel like my uterus had a workout." — Brooke, Brooke Knows Best
• Britney Spears really doesn't need that much retouching, does she? [DListed]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson confirm they are a couple, because nobody had any idea. [PS]
• Whitney Port officially gets her very own Hills spinoff, set in NYC. As long as it's not Speidi, we're on board. [ICYDK]
• All the celebrity nip slips you could ever want. [CityRag]
• For everyone who was concerned: Kim Kardashian fits in her size 26 jeans. [Yeeeah]
• Dakota Fanning continues her reign of perfection by making her school's cheerleading team. [INO]
Audrina Patridge, the Hills hanger-on whose eyes are constantly looking up in the sky, is reportedly moving out of the house she shares with co-stars Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth — moving trucks were even spotted in front of her guest house Thursday. Rumors started flying that MTV planned to give Audrina a spin-off in light of news she was cast in the upcoming horror flick Sorority Row, but thankfully those were untrue.
But this still leaves us with an empty guesthouse in The Hills' main residence, so we've decided to play a game: Who should take Audrina's place? (Our votes: Justin Bobby or Kelly Cutrone.)
[Source]
Last night on The Hills, the Chucky doll-ish Spencer Pratt schooled viewers on how to be a functioning adult who behaves appropriately. Upon hearing that his girlfriend/robot's sister, Holly, wants to spend time with mortal enemy Lauren Conrad, Spencer gives a death glare and then pulls out the "As long as you're living under my roof…" argument, complete with his big word of the day, "fraternizing." He also shows off his fantastic passive-aggressiveness with a sarcastic comment about how Lauren is "really cool." When none of those tactics work, he stomps off to throw a tantrum in his room. Well played, Spence. Well played. (Scene at 0:45.)
The ridiculous and accidental blockbuster popularity of MTV's Laguna Beach brought us The Hills, that reality show showcasing the lives of girls now too famous and wealthy to actually be the fictional versions they play on TV. And now that The Hills has performed the insurmountable task of keeping MTV semi-relevant, everybody else wants in. That's why Bravo is hunting for their own set of privileged West Coast youth and a production company is shooting a D.C. version as we speak. Even MTV, then, wants more of the magic. Enter The City, MTV's New York-based off-shoot of the show. Whereas The Hills took a group of pretty ladies from no-name status to insta-brands, The City will start off with a set of semi-known girls. Among them:
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "If I pee up myself, this is for you." — Nikeysha, America's Next Top Model
While MTV spends Fashion Week taping the New York The Hills spin-off, there's a little production going on in the nation's capital. As we told you last month, a Washington D.C. version of the show is underway, but not from MTV.
There was definite funny business going on last night at some video game launch party in Hollywood: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag showed up, along with her sister Holly and Lauren Conrad's ex Doug Reinhardt. This is mildly scandalous because, upon breaking up with Lauren, Doug went out on a date with Spencer's sister Stephanie (which went over like a lead balloon when Lauren found out). Little Dougy seems to fit right in with the Hills cast and their high school drama, but someone forgot to tell Holly that it's all fake:
Yeah, we came together. We are just, you know, hanging out.
Translation: OMG do you think he likes me?!?! He's soooo cute!! I'm going to act coy but OMG YOU GUYS I totally think we're going to get married!
Unfortunately, Doug quickly shot down her hopes:
There are no romantic sparks. She is a great girl.
Translation: I am repulsed by her but would like more screen time on upcoming episodes of The Hills. Also, I'm available for autographs after the event.
[Source]
Editor
