OUR OBESE NATION • Tired of missing up to 45 seconds of According to Jim every time you want to order a Cheesy Meat Lover's Bacon Craver's Ranch Sauce pizza pie? You're in luck: "You can now order a pizza through your television. In a new promotion with TiVo Inc., Domino's Pizza Inc. will begin taking orders using only a TV set from customers who have broadband TiVo service. When a customer forwards through a commercial for Domino's, TiVo will flash a pop-up advertisement that asks the customer if she would like to order a pizza, then direct her to a Domino's ordering screen."
Here, in 136 words, is all that's wrong with America:
Tired of struggling to find enough teachers to staff its classrooms on the Friday before the annual Georgia-Florida football game, the Clarke County (Ga.) School District — which includes Athens, home of the University of Georgia — decided to cancel school altogether. According to area media reports, 137 teachers last year called in sick the day before the big game, and the district was able to find only 113 substitutes. School administrators studied the absences over the years and found a pattern — almost twice as many teachers call in sick the Friday before the annual game in Jacksonville, Fla., about 360 miles away, than on an average school day. So the district decided to call off school the Friday before the game. And Clarke County is not alone; the schools in nearby Madison and Oglethorpe counties also are taking the day off.
Well aware that things aren't going well for their guy, Sarah Palin and a bunch of angry Iowa Republicans got together in Des Moines yesterday to whine about Barack Obama. While the vice-presidential nominee went on a crazy cat lady rant about how Obama's policies would make it so that the things a person buys aren't theirs (a lie, by the way), one of her supporter's decided to cut the chit chat and get right to the heart of the matter: "he's a nigger!"
Palin says nothing of the slur, a move that's cowardly at best and a tacit agreement at worst.
Video after the jump.
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THE SCRAMBLE FOR CHINA'S HEARTS AND MINDS "When the Beijing Olympic Games kicked off two weeks ago with a four-hour spectacular, more than 840 million people in China tuned in, perhaps the largest television audience in history for a single event. The broadcast was the first in a series of Olympic bonanzas for China Central Television, or CCTV, one of the chief propaganda arms of the Chinese state and perhaps also a new global media titan. … The company is … a model of how the Communist Party in China manages to keep state-owned companies profitable as it moves the nation toward a market economy with less government influence. That the biggest corporations in the world are bankrolling that evolution — as well as party propaganda — is one of the ironies of modern China. … Its advertisers include Procter & Gamble, Coca-Cola and Adidas. It has cut television and marketing deals with the National Basketball Association and IMG Worldwide, the global sports and entertainment giant."
IS THIS SOME SORT OF RECORD? "DMX was [arrested] for allegedly giving a false name and Social Security number to Scottsdale's Mayo Clinic in April. Simmons supposedly used the name 'Troy Jones' to weasel out of paying for $7,500 in medical expenses. … DMX was also arrested on July 2, June 27, June 23, May 9 and May 7 of this year."
It's happening: Us Weekly's "exclusives" with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt came to fruition this week with a huge cover story detailing the couple's reconciliation and plans to marry (again). Heidi says she changed her mind about calling off their previous engagement because she realized Spencer is her soulmate. Also? Because she gets more attention — and money — this way. But, for a minute, let's pretend all this isn't completely fabricated:
What changed? On-and-off beau Spencer Pratt convinced her to plan their wedding again during a secret make-or-break getaway to Mexico.
'Heidi read me biblical passages like "Honor thy wife,"' says Pratt.
… Nope, can't do it. Too ridiculous.
Despite all the media hoopla surrounding Beyonce and Jay-Z's wedding last Friday, the couple only appeared on the cover of one tabloid (Us Weekly). Naturally, the celebrity media are being labeled as "racist" because some assume "African-Americans don't sell covers."
Except Janet Jackson was on the cover of two of Us' best-selling issues. That kind of nips the whole controversy in the bud, no?
Here's why B and Jay only landed on one cover: Because there was nothing to report that celebrity blogs hadn't already covered. It was old news, and the couple remained so tight-lipped about the entire event that the mags had better things to investigate, like whether Britney is suffering a relapse.
Case closed.
Megalomomiac, Angelina Jolie, seen above training her robot eyes onto a hopeless orphan, is indeed said to be interested in adopting yet another child. This one from an orphanage in Prague, where Jolie is currently shooting the film Wanted.
Jolie…has become besotted with the child there after paying regular trips to a Catholic orphanage, according to British newspaper The Sun.
The publication also reports that Pitt has flown in to meet the child.
A source tells The Sun, "Angelina celebrated her 32nd birthday yesterday and had told Brad she felt it was time to extend the family again. Her maternal instincts are in overdrive and she felt a bond with the kid straight away. She called Brad and said she had found a child who would fit in perfectly with the other kids."
At what point does it mutate from adoption to collection?
"Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell."
More pics.
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