It's about time someone finally gave us more information on the latest installment of MTV's A Shot at Love with the Ikki Twins, Rikki and Vikki. The reality competition, a sure sign of the end of days, will begin Dec. 9 with 12 straight men and 12 gay women vying for the affections of these STD-ridden whores.
So who are these women who will soon capture the hearts of Americans both young and old? They have quite a resume, having worked for Hooters, Import Tuner, Fast & Sexy and Playboy. And for those of you hoping to romance the women, listen up: Rikki says she likes to "watch the Padres at Hooters and have the date take care of the bill" while Vikki prefers to "be in a bikini and there'll be candles, a blanket on the sand and a big bowl of chocolate!" Klassy.
So here I am, lounging in the living room with my cat, enjoying some macaroni and cheese and Paris Hilton's My New BFF when I suddenly lose my appetite thanks to a parade of skanks on my television. Yes, A Shot at Love is back — but this time STD-ridden Tila Tequila is not involved. WTF?! It's like I don't even know MTV anymore.
Tila's replacement(s): The Ikki Twins, Rikki and Vikki. Classy. I googled this nonsense and the only thing that popped up was this cheap Web site, which told me absolutely nothing. Looks like MTV isn't exactly feeling loud and proud about its latest travesty.
LADIES NEVER KISS AND TELL • "Tila Tequila refuses to kiss and tell about her rumored make out session with Justin Long. (The New York Post reported they got it on in Sin City on Halloween and that he later asked her to 'straddle' him at an L.A. club.) 'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and it should just stay there. … I don't remember anything.'"
[Source]
The last time we caught up with Justin Long, The Mac Guy, he was "making out hardcore" with Kirsten Dunst in a margarita line after dumping Drew Barrymore for her party girl ways. Today we learn that Dunst will now buying her own margaritas for the time being, because, like a new Apple product, her and Long's relationship went obsolete almost immediately. The ever-fickle actor is now courting faux lesbian Tila Tequila – Long "asked her to straddle him while making out" – presumably because she's smart, interesting and kind.
Sometime Lindsay Lohan lady friend and current Tila Tequila girlfriend Courtenay Semel is the daughter of former Yahoo chief Terry Semel. She is also, as some have described her, a vicious fame-seeking lass. So it makes sense she's being sued by security guard Jaroslaw Jarczok, of Las Vegas' Pure nightclub, who alleges she punched him in the face while drunk and screamed the most awesome line ever:
• Miley Cyrus' hanger-on boyfriend might be just a little bit gay. [DListed]
• Sarah Jessica Parker spent $250 on a pair of two-tone Chanel pantyhose. Just like us! [Yeeeah]
• Jessica Biel has decided to dabble in singing, because that always works out so well for actresses. [ICYDK]
• Tila Tequila is still alive and slutting it up. [HT]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will get married when their children ask them to. Wait, whatever happened to waiting for the gays? [INO]
• Beyonce is Sasha Fierce. Also: Delusional. [PS]
Can you believe we actually suffered through Paris Hilton's My New BFF last night? And — even crazier than that — we didn't feel the urge to stab ourselves in the eyes? We realized that once you sit through A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, you can sit through anything.
Anyway, the contestant who makes this show bearable is Onch, a jewelry designer from Hacienda Heights, Calif. Onch's favorite color is rainbow (seriously) and prefers the term "pomp" over "fabulous." Also? Onch is a male. Some of the contestants confused him for a girl at first, which was kind of awesome, but we don't even look at Onch as any specific gender. He's just kind of … there. It's weird. Onch wore a beautiful necklace last night made out of rainbow pretzels and was just magnificently entertaining throughout the entire hour of horrible television. We did some research, and it turns out this lovely being has already been in a feud with Chris Crocker, so you know he's just a tiny train wreck waiting to crash.
Onch, 1; the rest of those losers, 0.
Tila Tequila kept it classy last night outside of LA's Coco DeVille with girlfriend Courtenay Semel by grinding up on every female in sight for the pleasure of the paparazzi. Court looks like she's completely over this joke of a lesbian, but she continues on in this phony relationship for the sake of fame.
Click through for more pictures. CONTINUED »
Courtenay Semel, Lindsay's ex and the latest to "win" a shot at love with Tila Tequila, stole her share of the limelight this week in Vegas when she was charged with battery. Apparently Courtenay had a bit too much to drink at Pure nightclub and decided it would be a great idea to slap a security guard in the back of his head.
To be fair, if we were dating Tila we, too, would be drunk and angry all the time.
[Source]
Courtenay Semel, who spells her name in the most ridiculous way possible and is described as a "socialite," is the newest loser to win a shot at love with Tila Tequila — and she didn't even have to eat pig vaginas! You may recognize Tila's new girlfriend as Lindsay Lohan's former rumored fling (yes, LiLo kissed some girls before the lovely Samantha Ronson came into her life), but this time around Courtenay has found true love: “I’d seen the show [A Shot at Love] and just needed to meet her … and it just happened.” What just happened? The chlamydia?
Tila insists she's very happy (until the next season of her reality show starts filming, of course):
There are no games. It’s true what they say about lesbians — you meet and then the next day you move in together, because I can’t get rid of her. She pretty much lives at my house.
Sounds like a match made in publicity heaven.
[Source]
MONEY FOR NOTHING Hey, starving Americans, wanna be millionaires? Become famous failed hookers! "She had nixed a previous offer to do a Tila Tequila-style contest show for MTV, but Eliot Spitzer's tattooed honey [Ashley Dupre] was offered a new deal by LA reality-show producer David Krieff. Krieff approached Dupre two weeks ago after getting a letter of commitment from an entertainment network and a major studio, he told The Post. … 'It's a seven-figure deal,' said Krieff, the reality veteran who brought together Amy Fisher and the Buttafuocos for a TV special and did a similar pairing of rival ice queens Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding."
• The latest D-list feud: Kim Kardashian vs. Shanna Moakler. Choose your side. [Yeeeah]
• Tila Tequila: "I'm shooting a commercial for safe sex. How ironic. Because I don't have that." [CityRag]
• Brooke Hogan claimed her dad was abusive, but now that she's mad at her mom she says she made it all up. Oooookay. [ICYDK]
• A fight broke out at Brad and Angelina's residence. [DListed]
• Mischa Barton was dropped by her agency. Wait, she had agents? [INO]
• This is quite possibly the ugliest dress we've seen in a while. [PS]
Joel McHale, being awesome and discussing Tila Tequila:
She has so much whore in such a small body. I thought that show [A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila] would've jumped the shark two minutes in but when they ate the pig's vagina — oh man. I mentioned that during one of my comedy shows and people looked at me in horror. But I am just the messenger folks, this is what actually happened on television, in the afternoon, while your kids were watching.
[Source]
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "[Mo'Nique] didn't like me because I'm white and skinny and I don't really understand why a comedian was trying to teach us about etiquette to begin with, so I didn't really learn anything. But it was fun, because I got to be on TV." — Pumkin, I Love Money: Meet the All Stars
Having used the July 4 holiday weekend to quietly drop her lawsuit against Joe Francis, former Eliot Spitzer call girl Ashley Dupre is working on her next for-profit venture: reality TV show. She’s supposedly in talks with MTV, among other networks, to launch her own dating show, with Dupre becoming the next Tila Tequila as contestants vie to penetrate the Jersey Shore’s finest.
We have some good news and bad news with regard to A Shot at Love 2 with Tila Tequila. The good news is that in a SHOCKING!!!! season finale, The Chosen One, Kristy, rejected Tila's offer of a shot at "love." The acting was superb, and we expect an Emmy nomination in the very near future. "It's not just a plastic key," Kristy said. "It's the key to her heart." Wow. Heavy stuff right there.
So on to the bad news: That means there will definitely be A Shot at Love 3 with Tila Tequila. We really needn't say more.
Click through to watch the emotional (yet awesome) footage of Tila getting rejected, ending with her wondering, "What's wrong with me?" Do you really want us to answer that? CONTINUED »
Remember last month when Tila Tequila claimed credit for California's legalization of same-sex marriage, because her groundbreaking reality television show put sexualities other than the hetero variety on the map? Or something ridiculous? Now tell us if you heard the one about 24 actor Dennis Haysbert, who played President David Palmer, taking credit for the possibility of a black man becoming president.
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