Though we've always been certain – and rightfully so – that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are illiterate, new circumstantial evidence speaks to the contrary, specifically the presence of books in the couple's home.

On the table, one work sticks out amongst the others for both its literal and figurative weight: Tim Weiner's Legacy of Ashes: The History of the CIA. Initially it made no sense, but once we did a bit of research on Legacy, we discovered that the award-winning exposé details the duplicity, malice and hubris of an organization bent on controlling its trusting comrades, and everything became clear: It's essentially Spencer's guide for his relationship with Heidi. Consider it I am from Heaven, She Is from a Place of Weakness and Needs Me to Lead Her.