Behold the first public post-wedding picture of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon not owned by People magazine. The couple attended a party for Time's 100 Most Influential People in the World, where Mariah performed with a bedazzled microphone and stand. Good luck with that, Nick.

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Shigeru Miyamoto, the mastermind behind Nintendo's Zelda and Donkey Kong franchises and the Wii's Super Mario Galaxy, has been voted by readers of Time as the most influential person in this entire world of wars and crises. Miyamoto crushed Barack Obama, John McCain and Vladimir Putin. Believe it.

Recently, the criminally overpublished Time scribe Joel Stein offhandedly invited the hugely famous George Clooney to his house for dinner. Apparently unaware of Stein's inanity, Clooney took the bait, which was ultimately lamb and spaghetti carbonara.

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