SEVENTEENTH TIME'S THE CHARM "'Pamela and the kids have moved in with me,' said a beaming Tommy Lee (speaking, of course, of his ex-wife and sex-tape costar Pamela Anderson and their two sons, Brandon and Dylan). 'It’s awesome, man. It’s definitely working. You can tell on the kids’ faces — they’re happy when we’re together.'"
From a friend in the evil, evil music industry:
Amazing that this guy's penis size is the first thing women mention when they profess his attractiveness, huh?
The prize money for the proposed Kid Rock vs Tommy Lee boxing match has risen from $1 million to $5 million, proving just how valuable it is to people that these guys get beaten up.
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day—using 17 syllables or less—you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is janice:
Eyes closed, gentle smile,
Strap-on in tow; sweet Madge looks
truly virginal.
That was a tough decision. Well done, everyone.
New one is after the jump.
CONTINUED »
Kid Rock punched Tommy Lee in the face during the MTV Video Music Awards ceremony last evening, prompting a minor scuffle that ended with both men being escorted by security guards from the event. Presumably the fight had something to do with Pamela Anderson, an ex-lover of both men, who had taken the stage to introduce Alicia Keys immediately before the fight broke out. Still no word as to why the security team didn't let the idiots kill each other.
[Source]
This weekend at the Hamptons, the world's oldest baby, Tommy Lee, publicly and shamelessly had sexual intercourse with – but of course – a blond woman. (We'll go out on a limb and guess she also had clownish implants.)
Lee's raunchy bar behavior grossed out a room full of revelers at Dune in the Hamptons on Sunday night when the Motley Crue drummer and a blond party girl "were flat-out [bleep]ing" on a banquette, according to multiple witnesses. One told us, "When Tommy walked in, he asked, 'Is it cool to have sex in here?' The hostess thought he was kidding, but . . . then he just went to town with this girl.
Palliating some of the disgrace of Lee's actions is that extravagantly displaying one's cock is de rigueur in the Hamptons, the difference is that most people have the decency to leave theirs in the parking lot.
[Source]
• Dane Cook as John Lennon. That's apt. [BWE]
• It's Juneteenth today. Time to celebrate the freed slaves! This year, the government's finally coming through with those 40 acres and a mule. Just kidding. Fuck you, descendants! [SH]
• No more doofus hats on grup parents who hate growing old. [ICYDK]
• Maria Menounos is still second-rate Minnillo. [HT]
• These are not the ribald gents who wanted nothing more than girls, girls, girls. These are but sniveling schoolchildren. Away with the motley fools. [Yeeeah]
• Lipo-speculation. [CityRag]
A lot of people don't know this, but a few days ago the Devil surfaced to take Pamela Anderson as his eternal bride. Of course, the nuptials took place in Vegas, and at their conclusion, Satan summoned a tornado to rip the lovebats asunder. Pam went without a fight, as hell hath no fury like a woman who's been married to Kid Rock and Tommy Lee.
More pics after this jump.
CONTINUED »
• Billy Joel's daughter alleging Perez Hilton of being exploitative. [Radar]
• Beyonce alleging the media plays up cat fights between black women. [PopSugar]
• Robert Downey Jr alleging some cops are power hungry dicks. [Glitterati]
• More people alleging Britney Spears is having a comeback. [HT]
• Jennifer Esposito alleging irreconcilable differences. [ICYDK]
• Katie Holmes alleging she can't be completely controlled by her husband. [Yeeeah]
• Isaiah Washington still alleging he's not a homophobe. [SH]
• Tommy Lee alleging he knows how to do "research." [HR]
Because I'm not as quick on the shutter as I would like, here's some photos from Coachella not obtained by my hand.
I had seen Tommy Lee doofing around, and I briefly saw Tara Reid, who—don't fucking sue me—appeared to be wasted ("appeared," kay?). But the rest of these people I missed. In case you can't tell, that's Kimberly Stewart dressed up as General L'Oreal.
• The new guy on The Bachelor is a military doctor. Thankfully, these days there's really not anything more important a MILITARY DOCTOR could be doing. [Glitterati]
• Evangeline Lilly is the sexiest woman on television? [ICYDK]
• Ashley Judd being helpful in India. [INO]
• Pamela gets vague about Tommy Lee. [Jossip]
• Brit's out of 'hab and still in a wig. [ASL]
• Scarlett making elegant evening wear look like Baby Phat. [Egotastic]
• Poor choice of words: Jenna "busted her ass" for her fame. [DListed]
• This American Life starts on TV tomorrow! Can you tape it for me? [NYT]
• Pamela Anderson going back to her patient zero. [DListed]
• Marc Jacobs now back in rehab after the drugs helped him release a beautiful spring line. [WWD]
• If you really hate Simon, just vote for that East Indian boy everyone calls a girl. [BWE]
• Depauw fights exclusion with exclusion. [Jossip]
• Angelina in Africa. She should just marry it if she loves it so much. [ICYDK]
• Disney upset over Keira Knightly porno comic. Let's hope they never find out that Donald's a Nazi. [Egotastic]
• Britney rounds out the shattered innocence with an eating disorder. [ASL]
Best Week Ever has compiled a list of the 10 Greatest Heterosexual Men of Our Time, and they've included some fairly interesting choices. Would you have chosen Gandhi? Perhaps MLK Jr? You would have been tremendously wrong.
See, BWE is basing their lists on sexual conquests. And even with the brow so low, I still think their choices are awful. Like, should Tommy Lee really be commended for bedding Pamela Anderson? And Carson Daly gets a nod for dating Tara Reid? I would consider that at least seven demerits. That's not behavior to be encouraged.
Adam Duritz is number one. His exes are alright, I guess. But he needs to cut those dreads. They look like shit. Literally. I'm not sure I could eat around them.
[Source]
• Demi returns to Vanity Fair…in a kooky hat. [popbytes]
• Do you think everyone around Heidi and Seal was yelling "Make Out" as loudly as I would have if I were there? No, and that's probably for the best. [PopSugar]
• Unlucky in love Halle Berry may be knocked up. Congrats to her, but I just hope her male model boyfriend doesn't bolt. [HollyScoop]
• Well, DC sounds like a good place to start. [DListed]
• I'm not usually pro-book burning…[A Socialite's Life]
• Jessica Alba does not want you to stare at her ass. Not at all. [Egotastic]
• Maybe Kid Rock and Tommy Lee should just call it a draw and go find themselves a few of the other million blonde bimbos out there. [BWE]
• Working with Justin and Scarlett sounds like a real blast. [INO]
• Look kids, Matt Damon and his wife can enjoy the milk and cookies at Hyde, too! [Celebitchy]
• Those Harry Potter kids grow up so fast, don't they? [DrunkenStepfather]
• Tommy Lee takes a break from making out with whatever skank is standing in front of him at the moment to comment on the unhappy state of Pam Anderson and Kid Rock's marriage. [A Socialite's Life]
• Victoria Beckham defies all odds, is able to stand for one more day without snapping in half at the waist. [DListed]
• Mena Suvari is still desperate that you remember she is at fashion week. [Yeeeah]
• The "Video Vixen" isn't done trying to be famous yet, might be the reason for Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston's split. [IDLYITW]
• Clear your schedule and grab your closest (battery powered) friend, George Clooney is on Anderson Cooper 360 tonight. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Jude Law is finally ready to play the Romeo, too bad he lost us at the manpris. [PopSugar]
Aren't you sad that you're not waching Rockstar: Supernova Tommy Lee and Dave Navarro's new competition reality tv show? It's fucking ROCK N ROLL, man (on VH1) and the music is so HARDCORE (buy stock in eye liner) and they're going to RULE THE WORLD (until Tommy Lee has to get a hip replacement and Dave Navarro dies from hair dye leaking into his skin).
Please feel free to drink until you forget ever having seen the unholy matrimony of these two tongues.
See ya'll here this weekend.
Kisses and Jack on the rocks,
Molly
[Source]
• Egotastic is still fighting the good fight regarding Teri Hatcher's breasts: they're real, but they're not spectacular. [Egotastic]
• You'd think Tommy Lee vs. Josh Duhamel would go to Duhamel. You would be wrong. [Faded Youth]
• Jessica Simpson's breasts and Jessica Alba's ass reign supreme. Though maybe Simpsons breasts will have to fight it out with Johansson's to see who really wins. [WWTDD]
• Meni Suvari pumping gas in revealing work out clothes. Apparently she's been spending more time on her body than her career. [Celebitchy]
• EEEEE, more Project Runway new season shots. So. Excited. [JustJared]
• There's A-List and then there's B-List and then there's don't-dress-like-an-a-hole-just-because-your-tv-show-is-over, Beverly Mitchell. [Celebutaint]
• Tori Spelling's not afriad to drag her mother's name through the mud while talking about her father's death. [A Socialite's Life]
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