Y'know how we've been all flippant and snarky (we hate that "word" but it seems appropriate) about The New York Times as of late? Complaining about their bullshit, hokey, juvenile coverage of "chick flicks" and TV chefs using the f-word? Well, bilious as we've been, we haven't harbored hatred for the paper, just an acute feeling of disgust with wasted opportunity. It's hurt us to see pages of drivel that could have been used for good. Today, however, we officially hate the Times:

ONLY one thing stood, or lay, between Alexandra Avlonitis and domestic bliss after she renovated her Roxbury, Conn., bathroom: the toothbrushes. Each one was a different size, ergonomic shape and amalgam of voluptuous injection-molded plastics. The only thing they had in common was that none fit into the handsome toothbrush holder she’d bought.
…
Joanne Rowe, a certified hand therapist in Manhattan, said that people with arthritis or carpal tunnel syndrome, or who have recently had hand surgery, might find a toothbrush with a wider handle more convenient. “If you have a hand injury and you need to hold your toothbrush with some force, it will be easier to hold,” she said.

You'll be displeased to know that this goes on for THREE FUCKING PAGES!!!!!!!!!

But soft, not everyone has embraced the insanity: "Both Colgate and Johnson & Johnson declined to discuss their stockier toothbrushes … " Until right now, we had always hated seeing corporate fat cats snow the media.