The celebs came out in droves for UMG's Grammy Celebration; among them was renowned musical genius Lindsay Lohan. Where was her Grammy? "Rumors" is still one of the most beautiful songs of all time. She spent the evening hanging out with the great influences of Hollywood at a venue that was sure to be alcohol- and drug-free.

[Source]

DO WE HAVE TO GUESS? "What Justin Timberlake/Britney Spears story is too vulgar even to make it as a Gatecrasher blind item? Read the Rolling Stone cover story on Friday to find out! (Don't eat beforehand.)"

In the restraining order Britney Spears' family filed against Sam Lutfi there are some pretty amazing allegations. We couldn't make this stuff up:

According to the document, '[Lutfi] has cut Britney's home phone line and removed her cell phone chargers. He yells at her. He claims to control everything.'

According to a declaration filed by Lynne Spears, on January 28, Lynne and Jamie arrived for an intervention — 'Sam had told Britney that she was an unfit mother, a piece of trash and a whore, that she cares more about Adnan, her current boyfriend, than she cares about her kids, and that she does not deserve the kids.'

At one point, Britney 'picked up a bottle of pills and read part of the label and asked us, "What does insomnia mean?" Sam told her that the pills will help her stay awake.' Lynne continues, 'Sam told Jackie and me that he grinds up Britney's pills, which were on the counter and included Risperdal (an anti-psychotic drug for schizophrenia and bipolarity) and Seroquel.' The docs continue, 'He told us that the doctor who is treating her now is trying to get her into a sleep-induced coma so that they could then give her drugs to heal her brain.'

Lynne claims before leaving for the drug store that night, Sam gave her drugs upstairs 'to make her more light-hearted, happy, and fun.'

During a dispute later that night, Sam allegedly said, 'If you try to get rid of me, she'll be dead and I'll piss on her grave.'

This guy talks about pissing on graves more than we thought humanly possible. It's amazing he has time to terrorize Britney when it sounds like he spends lots of hours lurking around cemeteries.

[Source]

Britney Spears is locked away for the next two weeks, but that doesn't mean the Spears family plans on staying out of the media spotlight. Today, sister Jamie Lynn is taking the helm with plans to run away from her Louisiana home. Because that's the sign of a good mother-to-be.

'Jamie Lynn is moving to Los Angeles to live with her dad,' an insider told the [National] Enquirer. 'She wants to be settled in before the baby is born in March or early April — and she wants to be closer to film projects she’d like to start after giving birth.'

But Jamie Lynn’s plans to become a working mom aren’t the only reason Britney’s little sis decided to go west. Lynne’s decided that the teenager’s baby daddy, Casey Aldridge, is off limits.

Lynne also worries that once her little girl’s in Los Angeles, she’ll fall under another negative influence — Lynne’s older daughter Britney! 'Jamie Lynn knows Britney smoked and drank during her pregnancy — and because Britney’s boys turned out fine, Jamie Lynn thinks her baby will be fine too,' the source confided.

Yes, Jamie Lynn. Britney's boys are fine. They definitely won't be in therapy for years after all the emotional trama they've been through during their time in the Spears family.

[Source]

Pictures removed at the request of the copyright holder.

Despite speculation that she would stay in rehab, Amy Winehouse is planning to attend the Grammy Awards this weekend.

She briefly left a London clinic this morning to go to the U.S. embassy to renew her visa, her rep tells Us [Weekly].

A source told Us that Winehouse “is desperate to go and has been told she can go on the condition that she has a minder there and returns to rehab when back in the UK."

This sounds like a great idea. Who needs rehab when you can go hang out with your former enablers in an environment where there is sure to be lots of drugs and alcohol?

[Source]

• Adnan Ghalib speaks (with a cute little accent). [INO]

• "SERIOUS IMPLICATIONS!!!!!!!!" [MG]

• Denise Richards wants to pimp her kids, Charlie Sheen doesn't. For once, sheen looks like a great father. [Yeeeah]

• Brad Pitt does ads for jeans in Japan, but not America, because of a fickle public that both rewards and punishes stars for exposure. We don't fully get it. [PS]

• "Baby Polar Bear!" Try and resist. [CityRag]

• Unfortunately, the tolls of the campaign trail do not care how inopportune the moment. [NYP]

• Nicely done, E!. [DListed]

• From behind, Matthew Perry looks like Mel Gibson. [PS]

• 23-year-old Scarlett Johansson is said to be engaged, meaning 25-year-old Scarlett Johansson is going to be divorced. [HT]

• At this point, a faux hawk is actually worse than a mullet. Perhaps it always has been. [ICYDK]

• Mena Suvari makes Beyond Thunderdome cute [INO]

• Matthew McConaughey gets some shirtless stretches in before some shirtless running. To be followed by a shirtless dinner and some shirtless Cranium. [CityRag]

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Great news: Christina Aguilera's eyelids are pregnant, too!

• Seen the new MEN-olos? They're hideous. [Queerty]

• Yum-O! [DListed]

• More Hills is on the way. We hope you're proud of yourself, Hills viewers. [PS]

• Tara Reid: salvageable? [HT]

• Wanna smell like Britney Spears? No? Well, wanna smell like Britney Spears' perfume? [INO]

• Sporty Spice has a solo career? [ICYDK]

• American Idol star proves American Idol doesn't at all screen their contestants. [Yeeeah]

• The poor man's Justin Timberlake is really, really trying. [EBG]

• Hollywood actors: Even when they're working, they're still goofing off. [DListed]

• The guy's still up for "dorky dad" roles. Counts for something, right? [PS]

• So young and already so charitable. [EBG]

• Rose McGowan with red hair. Can you believe it? Can you hardly believe it? [HT]

• Coupling and copulating? Perhaps corporeal, but perhaps counterfeit. Care? [INO]

• Brooklyn says the feeling's mutual, Miranda. [ICYDK]

• Britney Spears invited her ex-husband Kevin Federline to her birthday bash. But he goes, "Ummm…I'm taking care of our kids." And she's all, "Whatever, lame ass." The end. (But not really.) [Yeeeah]

• Horrible memories are served! [CityRag]

• We're not sure why Queerty posted the above clip, but we're fucking doing it now, too! Sense in numbers. [Queerty]

• Lance Armstrong's daughters are so baffled by his relationship with Ashley Olsen they've started to bring her to school to experiment on. [DListed]

• The fact that "different looking" has come to be synonymous with "ugly" is a scary societal shift. [EBG]

• Drew Barrymore on the set of Grey Gardens. We presume this is pre-meltdown of her character. If not, crazy looks pretty. [PS]

• Grey of Anatomy fame got married. [INO]

• Jennifer Hudson: Oscar winner turned hang-outer. [ICYDK]

• Lindsay Lohan's enabler aims her syringe. [Yeeeah]

• Celebrity aptronyms. Fun! [CityRag]

• More of this caged bird. [HT]

• Bill O'Reilly proves, yet again, that he makes poor arguments. Appropriate on a day when Mollygood readers proclaimed Nacho Libre a cultural progression in American cinema. [SH]

• In her first good decision ever, Jenna Jameson got rid of her breast implants. Though her reasoning – "I wanted more room in my body for meth" – proves frightening. [DListed]

• Aguilera's baby bumps and lady lumps. (Which is which?) [HT]

• Eva Longoria flies to Switzerland to poke at dinner. [ICYDK]

• Aunt Becky is still boring! [DS]

• Who cares what he looks like, Spike Jonze is funny, thus he gets laid. That's the reality idiots who spend five hours in the gym each day can't cope with. [Yeeeah]

• Brad Pitt fights for New Orleans! US Government says, "Good for him." [CityRag]

• So commercials are officially funnier than According to Jim. [BWE]

• OK, now she is in rehab and she's in there with her husband. [DListed]

• Jesus, there's going to be so much fucking attention paid to Nicole Richie's boobs in the coming months. [DS]

• Literally blind item. [HT]

• James Gandolfini is returning to HBO to play a fat, Italian businessman. Stretch! [ICYDK]

• Ben Kingsley slums it. [Yeeeah]

• Mini Me material about a decade too late. [CityRag]

• In jail, Michael Vick may be introduced to a very different kind of "rape stand"; one made of strong, angry men. [SH]

In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day—using 17 syllables or less—you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.

Today's Someone Haiku winner is starkitten:

Lindsay’s dead carcass
won't bring in any money.
Pure ain't pure at all.

Nicely done, starkitten.

There's a very good Someone Haiku story after the jump.

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fun

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okie

okie dokie