THE HOLLYWOOD BABY BOOM CONTINUES "Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell will soon be on double diaper duty. Us Weekly has learned that Romijn, 35, and O'Connell, 34, are expecting twins this winter. A spokesman for the couple confirmed the news Monday morning."

Reputable In Touch magazine ran a story this week claiming John Mayer hit on a woman other than Jennifer Aniston, which is neither shocking nor true, according to tattletale Us Weekly.

The other woman, 32-year-old Chaton Anderson, "tearfully told Usmagazine.com that the story 'is completely not true' and she's considering legal action against the magazine." Wow, our hearts really go out to this poor woman. It's almost like she didn't ask for all this media attention — except she's crying about it to another tabloid.

Anyway, Chaton says she told a friend who works for the magazine that "nothing happened" when she met Mayer "a long time ago" — yet suddenly a fabricated story appeared in this week's issue. In Touch? Making up stories? Nah.

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NOW HE'S FREE FOR MATT DAMON "Late night host Jimmy Kimmel and comic Sarah Silverman have called it quits after five years of dating, reps for the couple confirm to Usmagazine.com. The break up was mutual, a source says."

Rumors surrounding Madonna have been coming out of the woodwork lately, but the latest seems to be the most bizarre: Former MLB player Jose Canseco is blabbing to Us Weekly about how Madonna attempted to seduce him way back in 1991, even though he was married.

But it wasn't for Jose's steroid-induced good looks (see left) — Madge simply wanted a Cuban child: "We went downstairs [at her house in the Hollywood Hills] and she came over and said, 'What would you do if I kissed you?' and then sat on my lap and kissed me." She then allegedly offered to pay for him to split from his wife.

And by the way, Jose "hates A-Rod's guts" for hitting on his wife.

Uh, no. Just … no.

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WHAT A JOKE "Why were Hills stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt at a firing range in L.A. Tuesday? 'All the super soaker ranges were closed,' Pratt joked to Usmagazine.com. 'Seriously, we're learning in honor of Heidi's step-brother. … He loved guns and always wanted Heidi to become a great marksmen. We're fulfilling his dream.'"

Without Barack Obama, the tabloids basically have nothing to go on these days. Britney Spears is cleaning up her act. Nicole Richie sometimes parties late, but mostly stays hidden with her mommyhood. And there’s the scraps: Mary-Kate Olsen heading to rehab? Oooh, breaking! Which is why, just sometimes, the tabloids have to rely on their own reporters to drum up scandal.

Like the way Us Weekly did with Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo.

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A-ROD IS QUITE THE ROMANTIC "New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez was smitten with Madonna six months ago when he was exchanging text messages with her while dining with a friend in Miami. 'He kept smiling, acting as if he was a little kid,' the dinner companion tells Us Weekly. … By February, the 32-year-old slugger had upped the ante. 'He said, "She's my f–king soulmate, dude."'"

THE COST OF CELEBRITY CULTURE "Jann Wenner is said to be quietly exploring a sale of celebrity magazine Us Weekly to Condé Nast and the price tag could hit $750 million."

Really, what kind of readers get excited over this stuff?

Jessica Simpson's venture into the world of country music has been successful thus far — if you believe the things you read in Us Weekly or hear on the radio. So just how successful is she? Well, just look at this "packed house" (yes, the interviewers actually called it that) of fans who came to see Jess in person. It's amazing that no one was injured during the riot.

Video of the craziness, complete with Jess's annoying baby voice and charming stories, after the jump.

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POOR PAULA "Paula Abdul has split from boyfriend, restaurateur J.T. Torregiani, her rep confirms to Usmagazine.com. The pair parted ways more than two months ago. Torregiani, 33 — a partner in the Dolce Group — has moved out of the American Idol judge's Los Angeles home. "

Also: Madonna may have worn mismatching socks! And did Kim Kardashian accidentally miss the turn to her house?

After being ripped to shreds by Us Weekly fashion police for an apparently unacceptable bike-riding outfit, Barack Obama proved why he should be running the country instead of Janice Min.

I got a hard time from all sorts of blogs who said I looked like Urkel. I knew that the AP was going to take a picture, and they were trying to portray it like [Mike Dukakis] wearing that tank helmet.

But I wanted to make sure that the children who saw that picture knew that even the Democratic nominee for president wears a helmet when he goes biking.

And once again, Obama wins.

Despite a recent photo shoot gone wrong, Hills frenemies Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad stepped out and took a united stand in the name of alcohol last night at LA's Crown Bar.

Across town, Stephanie Pratt was blabbing to Us Weekly about the feud in which she is not involved, saying she doesn't think everything is OK between the two roommates: "But I'm sure they will work it out — they have been best friends for so long." Just like LC and Heidi, right?

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If there's one thing in which Us Weekly shouldn't be involved, it's politics. So, naturally, the magazine has decided to judge the candidates based on their fashion — because the state of the country doesn't matter if Barack Obama and John McCain aren't looking good.

The target this week is Obama, who had the audacity to bicycle around Chicago in "ill-fitting jeans, a tucked in golf shirt and big tennis shoes." The horror! Us' fashion police weigh in:

Although Hillary's made some major fashion faux pas in the past (anyone remember a certain wedding dress?), we wouldn't see her in a pair of pegged acid washed jeans, peddling a bicycle built for two with Bill.

Hilarious. Also, in case you were worried, "The Obama Girl won't be singing about this!"

It's happening: Us Weekly's "exclusives" with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt came to fruition this week with a huge cover story detailing the couple's reconciliation and plans to marry (again). Heidi says she changed her mind about calling off their previous engagement because she realized Spencer is her soulmate. Also? Because she gets more attention — and money — this way. But, for a minute, let's pretend all this isn't completely fabricated:

What changed? On-and-off beau Spencer Pratt convinced her to plan their wedding again during a secret make-or-break getaway to Mexico.

'Heidi read me biblical passages like "Honor thy wife,"' says Pratt.

… Nope, can't do it. Too ridiculous.

Happy birthday to Shiloh Jolie-Pitt — may you have many more years full of tabloid covers and paparazzi stalkers.

STATING THE OBVIOUS "Michael Lohan isn't playing dumb when it comes to his daughter Lindsay's close relationship with deejay Samantha Ronson. Days after photos of them nuzzling necks in Cannes, France, surfaced, he tells Usmagazine.com their romance 'is evident to anyone with half a brain.'"