Shooting victim, ex-con and rap mogul 50 Cent recently told Vibe magazine that he's out of the groupie game. The "Wankster" mastermind says that every time a naked female fan hides out in his hotel room and tries to get a glimpse of his magic stick (this has happened more than once?), he summarily shows them the door.

I've been in hotel rooms, and girls were already there in the closet - naked. … Hell, no! Are you kidding me? That's like Amsterdam. Amsterdam is fun for some people, but I don't want no [bleep] that costs $50. There's too many people that got $50.

God, we love the irony of a high-minded grandee using an unpublishable euphemism when describing his standards for women.

Now let's play a fun game of Guess That Offensive Slang Term. Participation is simple: Just guess what you think an ascetic, classy chap like 50 Cent calls good good when speaking with people who will publish his words for millions to read.

Ashanti, the R&B songstress whose music will never stop reminding us of so many frat parties, appeared on the Tonight Show Friday to perform her new single, "Good Good." We're pretty sure the whole song's about her vagina, which is just hilarious considering that meemaws and peepaws love Jay Leno and his "clean material."

Click through for some of that "Good Good."

CONTINUED »

OK, just got this e-mail from a – not joking – Ms Goon, asking if I'd like to cover an event in which women will be hawking hair dye made especially for pubes. "Let me know if you’re interested in attending, covering or need high res images, thanks!" she shouts. I, of course, am not interested, and I can't imagine what type of person would be after reading a description like this:

CONTINUED »

• Ha! The balls are the legs! He's walking with the balls! Jeez, why isn't Amy Sedaris more famous? (By the way, totally NSFW) [Queerty]

• "Christina Aguilera or Transvestite?" [CityRag]

• Mariah Carey demands bodyguards stand watch at bathrooms she uses. Gather from that what you may. [Yeeeah]

• Madge's adopted baby isn't hers again. [ICYDK]

• Mischa Barton now lives in Paris, where there's cheese and butter in everything. Take that, all you mean dipshits saying her legs and butt are "gross." [INO]

• So, that little kid on American Idol is unstoppable, huh? [PS]

• Paris is in London being a real Antwerp. (YES!) [DListed]

• Who knew Barbara Walters said vagina so often? And in so many different ways! [Queerty]

• It's official: Jimmy Fallon will replace Conan O'Brien next year. [DListed]

• "Rumor has it that Tori Spelling has just been cast in the 90210 spinoff show that the CW is doing." [INO]

• Famous john Charlie Sheen and his fiancée, Brooke Mueller, are asking for donations to charity in lieu of wedding gifts. [ICYDK]

• Lindsay Lohan has been dropped from the cast of another film. It's sad now. [Yeeeah]

• Do these people look like Muppets or do these Muppets look like people? [CityRag]

• Dina Lohan's TV show is finally here! Kill your flat-screen before her voice enters your home and controls your children and pets. [PS]

If you like Georgia O'Keeffe, there's a good chance you'll like these photos of a still-gestating Christina Aguilera. (In case you're not into art jokes, these pics are NSFW.)

"Dr Debbie, so many women think that you pee and have a baby from the same hole." Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Alright, is Tyra a presumptuous liar or are Americans still so scared of "wee wees" and "hoo has" that they're letting their daughters grow up not knowing how many holes they have in their body?

[Source]

Rest up this weekend, Tyra Banks fans, because Monday's episode of the bewigged one's talk show is a very special episode dedicated to the vagina. Tyra will be showcasing vagina experts and accompanying a woman to her very first gynecological exam, all in an attempt to allay women's fears about their own bodies. Sounds good, but in the hands of Tyra, nothing is necessarily good. So, ladies, cross your fingers in the hopes that you won't be crossing your legs when all is said and done.

• This is burning up the Internets. Enjoy, whether it be the first time or the fifth. [BWE]

• Britney eventually showed for that court date. Better late than stupendously negligent. [DListed]

• "Girls Don't Like Boys, Girls Like Guys From TV" [PS]

• Alright, the no underwear thing has to stop. Not funny anymore. Not really funny the first time, either. [HT]

• Awesome giant rock that's not rare at all. [ICYDK]

• False alarm. The Hate Wall of Jolie remains solid. [INO]

• Esquire magazine names Charlize Theron the Sexiest Woman Alive. Knowing that that's how imaginative they are, you can go ahead and cancel your subscription before you even get that issue. [Yeeeah]

• Robert Smith is prettier. [CityRag]

Today, Jezebel puts to bed the debate over whether gay men prefer the scent of vaginas or the scent of Britney Spears.

An addled, addling Britney Spears has once again loosed her vagina onto the world. You may see it here.