Sorry, dude, but you're wearing sensible slip-ons and cargo capris with bows on the bottoms, and your face practically looks like the Nixon mask from Point Break. Time to hang up the ax and head to the early buffet. It's too bad you guys couldn't settle your differences years ago, but the "rockin' and rollin'" ship, as they say, has sailed.
Ten, Nine, Eight...
Van Halen is back together with David Lee Roth. And now instead of mulleted but talented Michael Anthony playing bass, pretentiously-named Wolfgang Van Halen (the 16-year-old son of Eddie and Valerie Bertinelli) will be helping build the tired rhythms. Man, oh, man, I don't think there's been a worse development in music since the last Prussian Blue album dropped.
Editor
