• A classy update on the girl who wants to auction off her virginity, as only Tyra Banks can do. [DListed]

• Heidi Klum cutes it up in a new Guitar Hero commercial. [HT]

• Kate Winslet is upset over accusations that she was Photoshopped on the cover of Vanity Fair. We're guessing Mariah Carey has something to say on the topic. [INO]

• Starlets stripping down to fight global poverty. [Yeeeah]

• We could have gone our whole lives without hearing about Seth Rogen's shaving habits. [ICYDK]

• Oops, Victoria Beckham forgot her pants! [PS]

So here I am, sitting in my living room suffering through an episode of Real Chance of Love (it's all for the good of Reality Bytes!) when Michael Phelps slides across my screen with no pants à la Tom Cruise in Risky Business. There is a Xenu!

Upon further investigating, I discovered that he was picked up alongside Kobe Bryant, Tony Hawk and Mr. Madonna himself, Alex Rodriguez, to promote the new Guitar Hero: World Tour. Out of all the ridiculous commercials Michael's starred in since the Olympics, this one is by far the best. (And, admittedly, most disturbing.)

NOW YOU CAN PRETEND TO BE A PROFESSIONAL CRIMINAL (AGAIN!) "Electronic Arts is looking to pull gamers back in. Publisher is developing "The Godfather II," a sequel to its 2006 videogame based on the classic Paramount film, for release in February. Original 'Godfather' game saw worldwide sales of more than 4 million units. a total solid enough that EA greenlit a sequel almost immediately after production on the final version of the game was done in late 2006. According to industry tracker NPD, the first game grossed $62 million in the U.S. Follow-up will follow elements of 'The Godfather Part II' film plot that take place in the late 1950s, but not the flashbacks to Vito Corleone's early life that starred Robert De Niro. As in the first game, players control a new member of the Corleone crime family who is rising through the ranks."

As you'll recall, this year's Grand Theft Auto IV: Liberty City was a huge, violent, crime-ridden success, much like the town on which it's based: New Yawk. So, in today's creatively bankrupt Hollywood, it was only a matter of time until someone started talking about a movie based on the title.

Because we'd like to get our hands on some of the bloody lucre that digital hooker-kicking has amassed, we've taken the liberty of casting the possible Liberty City movie. Thank us – with a lucrative back-end deal – when it's a hit.

CONTINUED »

WHEN LOVEMAKING GETS IN THE WAY OF MASS MURDER "Lawyers who sued the makers of the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas profess to be shocked, simply shocked, that few people who bought the game were offended by sex scenes buried in its software. Any buyer upset about hidden sex in the violent game could file a claim under a settlement the lawyers struck with the game’s makers, Rockstar Games and its corporate parent, Take-Two Interactive. Of the millions of people who bought the San Andreas version after its release in 2004, exactly 2,676 filed claims."

Now that the sole question driving Hollywood "creativity" is what do the people (and their money) want, and now that the answer to that question is video games, what's your bet on what will be the next video game to hit the big screen?

We say a live-action version of our childhood obsession, The Legend of Zelda, can't be too far off in the distance, because people love both seeing monsters and seeing monsters killed—Orlando Bloom would make a fine Link. And how about giving Mike Tyson's career a boost with Punch-Out: The Movie? Jude Law could be Glass Joe and Zac Efron could be the Little Mac! Somebody get me in contact with Uwe Boll.

RISE OF THE MACHINES "The video game industry is expected to shoot from $41.9 billion in global sales last year to $68.3 billion in 2012, a compound annual growth rate of 10.3% and better than all other media sectors except for online advertising and access."

MOVIES ARE NOW ABOUT VIDEO GAMES "Paramount Pictures has snapped up a pitch titled 'Atari,' with Leonardo DiCaprio attached to star. Written by Brian Hecker and Craig Sherman, project is a biopic about entrepreneur Nolan Bushnell, the creator of Atari and one of the founding fathers of the vidgame industry."

CRIME PAYS "Everyone should already know that 'Grand Theft Auto IV' is a hot-selling video game, but Take-Two Interactive Software CEO Ben Feder said Thursday that April sales of the product 'single-handedly propped up the U.K. economy.'"

Since going outside these days will result in you either drowning in a deluge of water or being shot by police officers, what else is there to do but sit on your couch and beat bloody the lifeless bodies of digital hookers?

Even with products priced at $50 and up, video-game marketers are finding the recession more friend than foe.

The $18 billion industry is on a tear, with sales up 31% over 2007 through April, according to NPD Group. And that's barely counting the April 29 release of "Grand Theft Auto IV," which shattered records with a $500 million opening week. That's five times what "Iron Man" made in its opening weekend.

Gawker Media overlord Nick Denton's just done a post about the amazing similarities between Liberty City — the darkened setting of the upcoming Grand Theft Auto IV video game — and New York City. Besides Liberty City having some digital skyscrapers which bear striking resemblance to Manhattan's gray giants, the protagonist of GTA IV, Niko Belic, gets drunk a lot and never goes to Staten Island, just like a real New Yorker. Also: I'm a very dangerous maniac in both worlds, as this photo of me by an ad for the new game proves.

Hills supervillain Spencer Pratt revealed at an Electronic Arts Valentine's Day party in Los Angeles that he and Heidi Montag are currently developing a video game in which they would star.

Spence, who seems to be finding it increasingly difficult to hide his disdain for Heidi, often spouts self-promoting bullshit, so believe the game when you see it. But, if it ever is released, it just might be enjoyable: "'You can definitely play as us or you can play against us,' Pratt said. 'You can even torture me.'" To torture yourself, play as Spencer.

• Because, obviously, a $15,000 baby carriage covered in diamonds and precious metals would not be "retarded." Thanks, Kanye. [Jossip]

• Matt Lauer and Jessica Alba fight talk to the death. [EBG]

• They're still drinking iced coffees in LA. Sissies. [PS]

• It's called the Boyzilian because even though the people who do it have pubes, they're still not men. [DListed]

• Wanna know which people some people think were the worst dressed at the SAG Awards? No? Well, the option's there. [Yeeeah]

• Do they call her Tequila because she makes almost everyone sick? [HT]

• Thank goodness today's children are learning to excel at playing cover songs on toy guitars. Real guitars are too…real. [INO]

• Dr Drew sets everyone straight. [ICYDK]

Many of you might ask, "What the hell is a useless brat like Paris Hilton doing at a respected independent film festival like Sundance?" And, well, you're looking at it.

[Source]