Do you have some of the milkiest, whitest skin the Northwest has ever seen? Has any underminer ever given you the backhanded compliment that you look like Charlize Theron were she noticeably fatter? If so, you could be in a movie opposite Viggo Mortensen, according to a recent ad in a Portland paper.

Anybody ever tell you that you look like Charlize Theron . . . especially if Theron were four months pregnant?
If so, then Portland's Lana Veenker Casting Co. would like to see a photo of you — your full body and swollen tummy, as well as your face — as soon as possible. Veenker is looking for someone to play Theron's double next month when a movie adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, "The Road," begins filming in Portland.
The Academy Award-winning actress is scheduled to play the wife of actor Viggo Mortensen. With such a high-caliber cast, no fake pregnant bellies would do.
To be considered, you need to have milky-white skin and radiant blond or dirty-blond hair. You need to stand a regal 5-foot-9 to 5-foot-11 and normally wear an envied size 6 or 8. Having Theron's sultry eyes and full lips may be optional depending upon the demands of the scenes but certainly won't hurt your chances.

Don't worry, prudes: if chosen, there'd be no nude scenes. Compensation is $125 per day. So what are you waiting for, Oregon blonds with "envied" figures? Start eating and stop using birth control.

We hear word that some oddly popular event happened last night in Los Angeles. We're not really sure what it was all about, but we've got pictures of some of the self-congratulatory, insular men and women in attendance after the jump.

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After the jump, Viggo Mortensen's ballyhooed naked knife fight scene from Eastern Promises, this weekend's fifth largest moneymaker at the box office. It's NSFW unless your office is fine with, well, naked knife fights. (If your office isn't cool with naked knife fights, remind them that worse than this happens in real life every day, then get a new career.)

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Patriotism is important, but so is respecting the underdog; so showing your support for your country while simultaneously showing your support for its oppressed mutantkind proves that you're a wise man who knows even the most misguided entities still have good within them.

More from this year's Golden Boot Awards after the jump.

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