In Jesus-it's-hard-to-be-an-actor news, two of America's most acclaimed and intimidating thespians, Laurence Fishburne and John Malkovich, are currently competing to replace the exiting William Petersen on television's gimmicky but fun CSI. Ah, acting: From Broadway to a Culver City sound stage littered with blacklights, just like that!

No word yet on if there's a front-runner, but we hope the slithery, simmering Malkovich gets it and out-weirds CI's Vincent D'Onofrio.