Technically, we can't say we have a crush on this kid, 9-year-old Alec Greven from Castle Rock, Colo., because that would be considered pedophilia and the last thing we need is Chris Hansen showing up on our doorstep asking all sorts of invasive questions. So instead we'll just say that Alec is a genius.
You see, Alec wrote a book detailing how to win over women — all at the ripe age of 8. The masterpiece, titled How to Talk to Girls, helps men way more than any of Mystery's techniques ever could without offending women or treating them like pieces of meat. What a concept!
After the jump, some of Alec's wise words. CONTINUED »
Is it just me, or is Woody Allen's UES home a little bit…WASPy? It looks like the type of place owned by Diane Keaton's family in Annie Hall, instead of the "under the Cyclone" Brooklyn feel of Woody's own childhood. But whatevs, when Architectural Digest gives you a tour of one of New York's most famous iconoclasts, you don't complain.
You just look for all the creepy pedophile stuff. See if you can spot it in this picture:
Sarah Palin's folksy shtick loses its charm pretty quickly when she's using it to tell you to go fuck yourself. And if you're a liberal woman, telling you to screw off she is:
At a rally on Saturday in California, Sarah Palin offered up a rather jarring argument for supporting the Republican ticket. "There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women," the Alaska Governor said, claiming she was quoting former Clinton Secretary of State Madeleine Albright.
The statement came after Palin had recounted [an experience at Starbucks] on Saturday: "I'm reading on my Starbucks mocha cup, okay? The quote of the day… It was Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State [crowd boos] and UN ambassador. … Now she said it, I didn't. She said, 'There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women.'"
As if basing her speeches off her mochas wasn't crazy enough, Palin prefaces the quote by saying it was "providential." See, God gave Palin that mocha cup so that she might better insult all the abortioning bitches standing in her way.
Ms Albright's quote is actually, "There's a special place in Hell reserved for women who don't help other women," which is completely different than what Palin said, but don't hold your breath waiting for tax-cheating Governor Palin to start worrying about accuracy.
Make the right decision in November, ladies, and then go to hell.
Video and Albright's response after the jump.
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David Spade obviously has an effect on the ladies, but who knew he also garnered the attention of heterosexual men? J.R. Moehringer, a writer for Los Angeles magazine, went to high school with David and decided to express his years-long crush through an eight-page article focusing on Spade's trick to being a ladies' man. We already know the secret: He's famous and he has money. Anyone can get women when they have one of the two.
David, of course, begs to differ and offers his advice to men hoping to attract women. CONTINUED »
AMERICAN WOMEN INCREASINGLY SELF-LOATHING "… according to a report published Monday by the nonprofit women's organization YWCA, our ceaseless pursuit of perfection is more toxic to American women and girls than ever. … Eighty percent of women say they're unhappy with their appearance, and 67% of women ages 25 to 45 are trying to shed pounds — though 53% of those women are already at a healthy weight. The report also cited a study in which 69% of the respondents (18 and older) said they were in favor of plastic surgery — a 7% increase from 2006."
It shames me that I can immediately identify this character on the right, the annoying Mr. Boston from I Love New York and I Love Money, but I suppose my roommate should be even more ashamed for recognizing him in a Santa Monica bar this weekend. Apparently Mr. Boston asked her to have "no-strings-attached sex" with him, but she politely declined — instead, he settled on taking a picture of her to post on his MySpace page with the caption, "She's got that 'do me' look to her face." Classy.
So after taking a gander at his MySpace page, which lists his occupation as "Reality TV star" and hosts a disclaimer noting "I'M PROBABLY HAVING LESS SEX THAN YOU," I noticed a pattern: Lots of pictures of random girls with the saddest captions imaginable. After the jump, the best of the best.
MALE-CENTRIC BOOK MOCKING FEMALE-CENTRIC BOOK TO MAKE MILLIONS "Warner Bros. has acquired rights to the book 'Drink, Play, F@#K,' the provocatively titled comedic male retort to the femme-centric best-seller 'Eat, Pray, Love.' The soon-to-be-published 'Play,' by comedy writer Andrew Gottlieb, tells the fictional story of Bob Sullivan, a man who, seeking solace after his wife leaves him, goes on a bender in Ireland, takes a gambling jaunt to Las Vegas and a embarks on a sex-tourism trip to Thailand."
Thomas Beatie, the pregnant "man" who actually has a uterus and a vagina and is a woman, is finally in his ninth month, huge with the baby right-wing zealots are so mad he's having.
Because his pregnant body looks strange – like a lowercase b instead of an uppercase B – and because the miracle of birth will soon put an end to the oddity, photos of the guy were made a few days ago. Now the world will never forget the most famous pregnant woman with a crew cut who ever lived.
MALE CRITICS BIASED AGAINST SATC? "As it turns out, Rotten Tomatoes presents 139 reviews, 69% of which are written by men. Only 49% of male critics wrote positive reviews while 51% panned 'Sex & The City.' Meanwhile, only 14 of the 40 female reviewers were negative about the box office sensation with 65% of women giving Carrie Bradshaw and friends the critical 'thumbs up.'"
OK, just got this e-mail from a – not joking – Ms Goon, asking if I'd like to cover an event in which women will be hawking hair dye made especially for pubes. "Let me know if you’re interested in attending, covering or need high res images, thanks!" she shouts. I, of course, am not interested, and I can't imagine what type of person would be after reading a description like this:
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'SEX' BY THE NUMBERS "… during the course of 94 episodes and six seasons, the women of 'Sex and the City' hit the sheets with a combined total of 94 men and one woman. … Of the four women, public relations exec Samantha racked up the most sexual partners. She bedded 41 men and one woman, while Carrie hooked up with 18, Charlotte 18 and Miranda 17. Everyone has a 'number.' But how many is too many and were the 'Sex and the City' women oversexed? Definitely - compared to the average American woman, who has nine sex partners in a lifetime."
• Alexyss K Tylor is back! And oh, God, is she NSFW. [DListed]
• "10 Tips to Rule Your Kitchen for a Girl On-the-Go"? Tip number one: stop calling yourself a "girl" before you're old enough to have a kitchen of your own. [INO]
• Michael Lohan on ex-wife Dina's Top Mom award: "Are you kidding! Top celebrity mom? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself." [ICYDK]
• Miley Cyrus' ratings are actually down after that whole Vanity Fair fiasco. Because, oddly enough, many people are boobs scared of boobs. [Yeeeah]
• Murakami's at the Brooklyn Museum. Go if you're in Brooklyn, not epileptic and interested in crazy, sexual, Japanese Manga characters. [CityRag]
• Clooney failed big and your mom and girlfriend still love him. Deal with it. [PS]
The problem with the term "beautiful girl" is that girls are rarely, if ever, beautiful. Girls are pretty and girls are cute — and that's fine because there's a time and place for cute (the age 16 and prom, respectively) — but they're not beautiful. Women are beautiful. Women are sexy.
We're reminded of how many people ignore that important distinction around this time every year: the lad mag "Hot List" season, when Maxim et al group together the names of every sad, drunk, Botoxed, sutured, bleached, commodified and infected girl in Hollywood and try to pretend the resultant stable has sex appeal. We're sick of it, so we've compiled our own lineup of truly beautiful women. Feel free to suggest additions or complain.
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