HAS AIDS BEEN CURED? • "An American man who suffered from AIDS appears to have been cured of the disease 20 months after receiving a targeted bone marrow transplant normally used to fight leukemia, his doctors said. While researchers - and the doctors themselves - caution that the case might be no more than a fluke, others say it may inspire a greater interest in gene therapy to fight the disease that claims 2 million lives each year. The virus has infected 33 million people worldwide." CONTINUED »
Wellllllllll, this has never happened before: some Paris Hilton news that actually interests us.
Hilton, she of the sex tapes and the drunken club appearances and the jail time (and the Dubai hotelier fawning), has signed on to star in a "companion piece" to Todd Solondz' 1998 masterwork, Happiness. Quite a leap for an actress accustomed to horror operas and grainy stag flicks.
Solondz is a true artist, and Happiness, which stars Philip Seymour Hoffman and Dylan Baker, is one of the best dark comedies of the past decade. Watching it, you almost forget that it's awash in the semen of both grown men and young boys. (It would be crude and easy of us to suggest that fact is what helped sell Hilton on the sequel, so we'll not.)
What a delight it will be to see how Solondz goes about using Hilton's, uh, talents?
After the jump, some of our favorite Happiness moments. (NSFW!!!!)
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Nate Silver, the statistician creator of FiveThirtyEight.com, predicted months ago that the general election would yield Barack Obama 52.4 percent of the popular vote and John McCain 46.3 percent. The actual results were 52.3 percent for Obama and 46.2 percent for McCain—two-tenths of a point off Silver's guesses.
Naturally, corporations everywhere are eager to exploit Silver's powers. According to the Wall Street Journal, Silver is considering using his predicative methods to conjure congressional vote results and movies' box-office performances. From there, the sky's the limit.
It all ends, of course, when Silver drills a hole into his own skull like that guy in Pi.
Have no fear, increasingly poor readers, everything's gonna be fine. Some 700 Club glossolalist pronounced today a Day of Prayer for the World’s Economies and intends to fix all your financial woes! Here's a bunch of saddies huddled around the Charging Bull on Wall Street, praying for money to a false idol, just like their God told them not to. DESPERATE TIMES!
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The McCain-Palin crazy brigade reached a whole new level of nuts this weekend, when a female kook in Iowa, done up to look exactly like Sarah Palin, stood directly behind John McCain during his speech and ACKNOWLEDGED APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE WHILE MCCAIN SAID NICE THINGS ABOUT HIS RUNNING MATE!!!!!
Isn't it scary how little it takes for everyone in the United States to completely lose it? Over the past few months, it feels like insanity's been spreading faster than the zombie disease in 28 Days Later.
BARACK AND ROLLING IN THE DOUGH "Barack Obama raised $150 million for the month of September, beating his previous best of August, when he had only(!) raised $65 million."
See those maniacs at right? The ones a-hootin' and a-hollerin' about how, if they had their own country, the blacks and gays and A-rabs wouldn't be able to take their women and bars and money, respectively? Ironically, those clowns calling for a Southern nation in America seem to have a lot more in common with the North than they think. The far North, that is. And you know we wouldn't be talking about the crazies in Alaska right now if it had nothing to do with witchy ding-dong Sarah Palin.
Perhaps scared away by the massive public outpouring of shock/interest/disgust/horniness that followed her intensely freckled, nude photo shoot for New York magazine, Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $700,000 offer to do an eight-page spread in Playboy. This despite the fact that a simple Google search will turn up numerous photographs enlightening a person as to what each and every one of the young actress' private parts look like.
It's the end of an era, people. And you know what? Good for her.
Do our eyes, ears and sense of humor deceive us, or does Lindsay Lohan's new movie not look that bad? In fact, does it look kind of alright?
The "Now in post production" notation at the end of the trailer is an odd, inauspicious choice, but let's just forget about that for now—Cheryl Hines!
Clip after the jump.
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Whoops! Now that everyone knows vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin's 17-year-old, unwed daughter, Bristol, is pregnant, will the Alaskan governor rethink her support of antiquated, absurd abstinence-only education? Probably not, because she seems a little [twirls right index finger next to right temple], but that's where you come in, voter. Don't let this little glimpse of blind, reckless idealism escape you come November.
"He was really weird with her," said [Richie Rich] … "He kept leering at her and saying, "I want to fuck you!"
Axl is 46, Kelly: 24.
Not completely disgusted with modern air travel, what with the glacial lines, last-second cancellations and dwindling luxuries? Then you're a more tolerant person than many, many others. But we dare you to resist booking your next trip on Amtrak upon hearing this news:
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Why this is just coming out now, we have no idea: Lynne Spears ran over and killed a 12-year-old boy on his bike back in 1975. She was a mere 20 years old at the time and was driving her injured brother to the hospital in Kentwood, La. when she accidentally struck the child. A source close to the family blabbed to the Enquirer:
To this day, Lynne hasn't gotten over what she did. She gets that terrified look in her eye when she is thinking about it. She has told only a few people about the accident and always says, 'Please don't think I'm a bad person.'
And to top it off, Lynne's rep confirmed the story, saying, "It bothers Lynne still to this day." Obviously.
Just when we were beginning to think the Spears family could surprise us no longer. Touche, Lynne. Touche.
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The hills are alive with the sound of M16 bursts! Yes, those are real guns Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are caressing like awed monkeys, and, apparently, there's a lot more where those came from: "The Hills couple has been concerned about their protection and … recently spent $10,000 on weapons at the Martin B. Retting store in Culver City, Calif." As if these two sad, strange people weren't frightening enough!
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