ANOTHER SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE • "A one-year-old girl in Saudi Arabia is pregnant — with a fetus in her uterus and everything. Details are light but it appears be another case of an absorbed sibling — the mom was pregnant with twins, one wasn't viable, the other fetus absorbed it and it kept growing a little bit though technically it's not alive."
In some completely WTF? news, President Bush yesterday commuted the 14-year prison sentence of former Fugee associate John Forté. Forté has been in jail since 2000, when he was arrested at a New Jersey airport in possession of $1.4 million worth of liquid cocaine.
OUR OBESE NATION • Tired of missing up to 45 seconds of According to Jim every time you want to order a Cheesy Meat Lover's Bacon Craver's Ranch Sauce pizza pie? You're in luck: "You can now order a pizza through your television. In a new promotion with TiVo Inc., Domino's Pizza Inc. will begin taking orders using only a TV set from customers who have broadband TiVo service. When a customer forwards through a commercial for Domino's, TiVo will flash a pop-up advertisement that asks the customer if she would like to order a pizza, then direct her to a Domino's ordering screen."
AFTER Lynne Wu moved to New York from Cincinnati, she realized her body wasn’t prepared for the sheer amount of pavement-pounding required in her adopted city.
“At the end of the day my lower back and ankles would hurt,” said Ms. Wu, 40, a development consultant for nonprofit organizations. “I just wasn’t used to walking that much.”
Did you know that 90% of women name their vaginas, and "beaver" is one of the most popular? At least it is in Australia, where they've taken to premiering Kotex tampon commercials featuring an animated beaver that helps women make life decisions.
Here, on Election Day eve, we have a new winner for stupidest Sarah Palin answer to a direct and reasonable question. Responding to a black supporter who asked about why he was the only minority at a particular Indiana rally, Palin responded, "We've got to be all about equality, the Constitution preaches," before noting that her husband, Todd, himself half-Eskimo, can totally understand the plight of black Republicans. Good. God. This. Woman.
Nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey…
[Source]
We don't know who's worse, the screechy McCain sociopath in clown makeup who wouldn't give Halloween candy to the children of Obama supporters, or her Obama fan neighbor who fought back with an "Obama for [Mercedes Benz symbol]" poster. ONLY ONE MORE DAY, FOLKS!!!!
Click through for the video clip.
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What is going on with Australia? We thought they were just fun-loving, rough-and-tumble party animals with a taste for bad beer, but we're quickly learning that perhaps the old saying holds true: once a nation of convicts, always a nation of convicts.
A month ago we told you about this kid, who broke into a zoo in the early morning and smashed reptiles to death with a rock before feeding them to a crocodile. Now, there's this:
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BREAKING - "ATF says it has disrupted skinhead plot to assassinate Obama, kill 102 black people."
ANONYMOUS MANHATTAN GARBAGE PICKER TARGETING CELEBS "Celebrities who live in Greenwich Village may want to run out and buy paper shredders. Their garbage is being sifted through by creepy trash-trollers who want to bare their secrets. One recent victim is Mary-Louise Parker, the sexy star of Showtime's 'Weeds,' who lives in a luxury apartment building overlooking Washington Square Park. An anonymous letter was sent to Page Six from someone who claims to have sifted through the actress' refuse and included photocopies of Parker's drug prescription receipts from Bigelow Pharmacy on Sixth Avenue."
The McCain-Palin crazy brigade reached a whole new level of nuts this weekend, when a female kook in Iowa, done up to look exactly like Sarah Palin, stood directly behind John McCain during his speech and ACKNOWLEDGED APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE WHILE MCCAIN SAID NICE THINGS ABOUT HIS RUNNING MATE!!!!!
Isn't it scary how little it takes for everyone in the United States to completely lose it? Over the past few months, it feels like insanity's been spreading faster than the zombie disease in 28 Days Later.
SAM JOE THE PLUMBER CONSIDERING RUN FOR HIGH OFFICE He's not even a licensed plumber and he's a tax cheat and a maniac, but Sam Joe "the Plumber" Wurzelbacher said today on Laura Ingraham's radio show that he's considering a run for Congress in 2010. Because what better place for cheating, unqualified liars than the government.
I'm not voting for that nigger, and I ain't no racist when I say that either.
-An anonymous West Virginian McCain supporter, on his benign views on McCain's black opponent
The rotund gent you see at right is being indicted in the city of New York for snatching a McCain campaign sign from the hands of a middle-aged woman, snapping it in half and then punching the GOP supporter, who's been described as "small" and "quiet," in the face. Witnesses to the assault said the man gave no indication as to why he was attacking the lady, to whom he said only, "You people are ridiculous!"
What a crazy man. But what's even crazier is this…
Listen to how the subconscious insults are forgotten as soon as he says, "YOU GUYS LOVE AMERICA AND GOD!!!!"
[Source]
Muslims voting for John McCain and his gun nut running mate are both courageous and rare, so one would imagine the Republican ticket would loudly herald the small constituency the way a botanist might a flower that blooms once a decade. One, it turns out, would be wrong. For their willingness to both see past the GOP's brass-bound ties to Israel and brave the hate pits of monkey dolls and epithets that McCain and Palin are calling rallies, Republican-voting Muslims are repaid with a whole lot of "get the fuck away from us before people think we support terrorism!"
To wit:
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