The tabloids had a good variety of stories this week, with one Angelina and three Britney covers. Life & Style was the only magazine to get desperate with the typical "celebrities starve themselves to get skinny" cover story. Trailblazers, those L&S staffers.

There is, as usual, a plethora of Spears stories covering Brit's mental illness and recent weight loss. OK! proclaims that she's back to her old body, and judging by the cover, she is — because it's an old photograph from 2003.

Also this week: Lindsay realizes she looks old, Perez Hilton needs attention and Jason Wahler stars in yet another reality show. Count us out.

Us Weekly
Cover: Us goes the PSA route this week with a feature on living with mental illness. Britney is suffering from bipolar disorder, and the mag fills us in on her progress: She cleans her house, eats balanced meals and reads the Bible. But before you start to think things are great for Brit, Us reminds us there's a 75 percent chance she'll relapse within five years. Well, that's good for the paparazzi.
• Meanwhile, Jamie-Lynn is acting out back in Louisiana. The recently engaged mom-to-be has been throwing wild parties — yes, there's alcohol involved — to get the attention of her parents. Sounds like JL is going to be a great mother.
• Carrie Underwood and Chace Crawford broke up, but Us reports that it was a mutual agreement based on the stars' hectic schedules. Also? Chace was jealous because Carrie still speaks to ex-boyfriend Tony Romo and calls his relationship with Jessica Simpson "a joke." Says the girl who was dating a gay guy.

In Touch
Cover: Angelina's sex scandal, except not really: In Touch dug up some old pictures from 1992 of Angie posing for a "sexy" — albeit clothed — photo shoot. The mag claims she was just 16 at the time of these pictures, but we don't buy it. She looks 16 going on 30, kind of like Ali Lohan is 14 going on 75.
• Perez Hilton is obviously looking for attention, because he gave In Touch the scoop on a wild night he shared with John Mayer back in 2006. Perez says John sang in his ear to turn him on and then the two made out for five minutes. Um, how old are we, Perez? Apparently the blogger got his feelings hurt because he thinks John has been taunting him on his blog — says the man who makes a living taunting people on his blog.
• Lindsay Lohan has decided she looks too old for her age. Welcome to the party, Linds! Her solution, of course, is Botox to get rid of her crow's feet and wrinkles. Keep in mind the girl is 21 years old.

Life & Style
Cover: Celebrities starve themselves. We'll give you a minute to process that, because we know it's shocking. Life & Style gives us a rundown of all the skinny celebs, which includes the usual suspects: Nicole Richie, Nicky Hilton and Kate Bosworth. Katie Holmes and Posh share their diet tips: They only eat salads without dressing and drink Coke mixed with bottled water. Yum.
• Reality TV continues its downward spiral: Jason Wahler, who used to date Lauren Conrad, is set to begin filming an Entourage-style reality show for VH1 this month. Didn't MTV already try that with 24/7? Don't feel bad if you don't remember that show, it was cancelled after only a few episodes. Good luck, Jason!
• Jennifer Lopez hasn't let those pesky twins get in the way of being a diva. J.Lo visited an NYC salon recently and requested the employees play only her music and have one of every new magazine available for her to read. As you do.

Star
Cover: Britney and Kevin are planning a secret getaway weekend with the kids in Maui to see if there's any romance that can be rekindled. According to Star, Jamie Spears is on board and let Brit spend $138,000 on a diamond watch for K-Fed. We're sure he never thought he'd see the day where he actually wanted his daughter to be with Kevin, but there's a first time for everything.
• Here's something we never wanted to know: Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo have steamy iChat sessions where she dances for him via webcam. A friend says, "She will dance in front of the camera until she makes her man happy!" … Ew.
• American Idol contestant David Cook seems a little smug on TV, but Star tells us that he's actually a good guy: David wears an orange bracelet every week in honor of one of his fans, a 7-year-old girl battling leukemia. Also aww-inducing is the fact that he put the initials AC on his guitar in honor of his brother, who is battling cancer. Someone pass the tissues.

OK!
Cover: Britney lost 15 pounds in just four weeks, and OK! acts like she discovered some huge diet secret. She quit overdosing on Taco Bell and Frappuccinos and eats five small meals a day. Who knew cutting out fast food made you lose weight?
• Jamie-Lynn Spears and fiance Casey Aldridge plan to get married after their child is born, and OK! swears it has all the wedding plans. In reality, the mag has nothing except a couple interviews with people who talk about what they would do if they were helping to plan the wedding — which the mag suggests may be held at Britney's Louisiana estate. Thanks for the insider scoop, OK!
• The poll of the week: Who wears the best bob haircut — Jennifer Hudson, Jared Leto or Suri Cruise? It is really fair to have an adorable baby in the competition? Suri wins, of course, with Jared Leto coming in last. But by now he should be used to being a loser.