The missives contained in Mollygood’s comments sections run the gamut from funny to enlightening to choleric to unreadable, but rarely are they boring and even rarer (thankfully) are they peppered with “OMG she is hottttttttt!” or “z”s in the place of “s”s. Since the swift death of Mollygood, Bad and Poetic, the best of these bon mots have gone relatively unnoticed. The Commies will change all that. Each week, the very best will be highlighted here for greater public consumption and, of course, judgment.
The “So Sarcastic It’s Not Sarcastic” Award: patrick
this commercial was not offensive.
my girlfriend and i love pandas and we are looking to buy bamboo furniture and all that sorts of stuff. we watch them on zoo webcams.
pandas are asian animals and they are speaking with asian accents. that’s not offensive, that’s realistic.
you are stupid if you are offended by this commercial. pandas and cute wonderful animals and i thought this commercial was awesome. we both looked at each other like “WOW!” because we were so happy. we joke about pandas eating a house full of bamboo so the part with ling ling eating the computer is funny and yes, they do make computers out of bamboo. the material is durable and bamboo grows something like several feet a month. pandas rock and so does this commercial. thanks.
Saddest Ashlee Simpson Fan in the Whole Wide World: Clarke
Ashlee has said the album is a dance album chock full of jokey lyrics. She even has said “Murder,” which features the line, “They say that I get away with murder” is just a joke because she can’t get away with anything in today’s press. Can’t wait to see the article you write about how the song is so dumb because she hasn’t ever killed someone.
Best Sun Tzu Reference: Lisa(#1)
It’s the Art of War for the 21st Century, y’all!
Most “TM” TMI Comment: manda
it’s true, baby poo doesn’t stink until they start eating solids, unless the baby is eating formula. Formula is essentially the same thing as solids. Breastmilk poo doesn’t stink or smells a little like buttermilk, because it is made for the indivudual baby and the most efficient thing for their digestive track. Basically, there is nothing left over to stink, their body uses it up. Sometimes, in the first weeks, they can go for 10 days or more with out a poop because their body is using everything up, there is no waste.
Most Relatable Reaction to Tyra Banks: Canadian
Best Analogy: jbonz
Do any of these Hollywood Liberals realize that LRH was a paranoid Commie-hater, and his “religion” is simply Ray Bradbury-meets-Joe McCarthy Red Menace bullshit? This “suppressive person” list is just like McCarthy’s notorious blacklist of pinkos and comsymps - which was well populated by Hollywood Lefties in the 1950s.
Psych 101: 50’s science fiction as manifestation of societal Cold-War paranoia.
Ditto for Scientology.
Best Homophone Humor: thebeachedwhale
Save the Wales: Free Catherine Zeta Jones from Michael Douglas
Editor
I think this is a great idea and hope you’ll do this again
^^^^thats a commie right there.
Congrats all.
True Story.
pandas are asian animals and they are speaking with asian accents. that’s not offensive, that’s realistic.
panda’s speaking sure is realistic.
AThinker - rest assured, every Monday we get a Commies list. If not, the natives get restless. Of course, the natives frequently get shafted on thier witty comments, but we’ve taken it with a grain of salt. We claim to take pride in not being chosen, but we really cry inside.
congrats everyone.
way to go lisa!
and, i gotta say, that thebeachedwhale’s comment was comedy gold.
i’m still confused as to whether patrick was being serious or not… i mean, can they really make computers out of bamboo?
mae, they had to use asian accented english because we ign’ant amurricans only speak english. we don’t even want our latino friends speaking spanish in this country. we sure as hell ain’t gonna learn panda to placate asians!
i saw that commercial too and sort of cringed.
I’m sure Panda’s were offended too.
I’m afraid that Patrick wasn’t being sarcastic. Terrified actually.
I would have punched that panda in the face for eating my bamboo furniture.
juju vs. panda in a bedazzling Thunderdome match.
Wow, jbonz, that comment was unbeatable.
juju, by punching the panda in the face, would you be killing the panda in the face?
yes.
yes you would.
What else can you do when a panda gets all crazy and starts eating all your pier 1 furniture? It’s either the panda or your papasan chair.
or if you’re k-fed, your popozao chair.
thank you, i’ll be here all week. tip your waitresses.
ZING! baddump bum.
lisa is on a roll. i think juju and i are now tied for longest time without a commie, we kick ass that way.
I like to think it’s because our comments are all so kick ass that Cord just can’t narrow them down to just one. That must be it.
Woot for me! I feel all aglow - especially because I cracked my own shit up with that particular comment.
Lisa(#1): I think you have won the right to remove your parentheses. Congrats. :)