The missives contained in Mollygood’s comments sections run the gamut from funny to enlightening to choleric to unreadable, but rarely are they boring and even rarer (thankfully) are they peppered with “OMG she is hottttttttt!” or “z”s in the place of “s”s. Since the swift death of Mollygood, Bad and Poetic, the best of these bon mots have gone relatively unnoticed. The Commies will change all that. Each week, the very best will be highlighted here for greater public consumption and, of course, judgment.
Best Example of Why Old People Should Never Use Computers: Dale McLemore
Why is there no Senior Citizens on yur programs at Jeopardy? I am 79 and probably would not last long on your show, but I will never get the opportuity evidently. Just because we become older does not mean our brains retire. Shame on you for discriminating on the greatest generation.I guess because we lived thru some of this Nations rough times in the 30s and 40s makes us not eligible for yours and that other show Wheel of Fortune. Of course I will be shocked if I get a responce to this E-Mail
Most Encouraging Newbie: AThinker
I think [the commies are] a great idea and hope you’ll do this again
Most Romantic Valentine’s Day: jujubees
I ended up having a romantic dinner at Quiznos with 3 of our 4 kids and then chasing the little one as he tried to escape out the front door.
I got a box of chocolates and fell asleep watching Sex in the city reruns with a chocolate turtle hanging out of my mouth. ROMANCE!
Lamest Attempt at Sucking Up: chelsea
I SAY PARIS BECAUSE , WHEN YOU SEE PICTURES OF BRITNEY AND LOHAN THEY ALMOST ALWAYS ALONE IN THE PICTURE, WITH PARIS SHE ALMOST ALWAYS WITH SOMEONE ELSE. SO YOU WOULD AT LEAST GET SOME FAME FROM IT. YOU MIGHT EVEN BE ON www.mollygood.com
The “We Hope You Don’t Know From Experience” Award: blah
Drugs are so easy to acquire in prison. Quite often the guards are in on it so that helps, but also, it’s not unusual for people practice slight of hand tricks or to smuggle drugs into prison before they get there. Nothing like swallowing a bag full of heroin only to crap it out a few days later.
Person We Hope Never Votes: jbonz
The mere fact that women can find endless interest in hearing each other talk about their stinkboxes just goes to prove that giving them the right to vote was a big mistake.
Hillary’s Cunt in 2008!
Worst Speidi Attempt at Anonymously Posting on Random Blogs: bluejeanbaby
Well, I know this sounds crazy, but I can’t hate on Heidi anymore. She looks pretty in this picture, and even though I didnt care for the video, she is just a small town girl trying to follow her dreams. I give anyone kudos for that. She also tried many times to make up with Lauren and she seemed genuine in her attempts. When all is said and done, I think deep down she has a good heart.
Editor
ha! i’m queen no commie bitch now juju! congrats to all. whitney, thank you! feel better.
Congrats to all.
And I called it on the ATHINKER comment. Well, I did!!!!! Cant I get some kind of award for calling a commie a commie at the time? No?
bah hum bug.
Hmm, my Valentines sure looks pretty pathetic now that I re-read it. At least I didn’t choke to death on my chocolate turtle. So, there’s that.
PS, Dale, I found your teeth on my stinkbox. Don’t tell jbonz.
Excellent job, Whitney! Congrats to the winners. ;)
Whoopie!!!! …and no, I don’t know from experience. The closest I’ve ever got to going to jail is going to traffic school and I’ve never done drugs. That’s why I had to leave California - my weed card expired.
And may I compliment Whitney on her prompt commie’s. I didn’t have to kill anyone in the face while I was waiting.
No ju, you’re right. Our girl’s pretty punctual.
Dayamn, Deimos, join the queue. ;)
I’m a Commie re-virgin. I haven’t won one since 1987.
During my commie reign this week. I will be sure to promote my ideals for a classless country and work towards community sharing.
To start you all can share your money with me and I will disperse these monies in a manner that will be fair to all. I like to call my plan, “3 for me and 1 for you”. I think Stalin would approve of this message.
Dale is my new farking hero. Fer realsie.
Woot! Juje got a Commie ™. Now she can quit bitching.
Toys R Us, just saying.
I fucking hate jujubees.
(And I’m not talking about the candy.)
I want to kill her so I can run away with her wallet and her wit.
Thanks for pissing me off, jujubees! My eczema worsens with stress, you thoughtless cock ferret.
Whatever. They don’t even give you an actual prize. Stop boasting, trollop.
PS
I bet your dick is tiny. If you have one at all! Zing! Bang! Boom!
OMG ilnaz… thoughtless cock ferret? That is a classic. I’m letting you know now that is my phrase of the week.
I would never cock a ferret. I’d wear him as a stole but never cock it. GOOD DAY, MADAM. And you do get a prize. But I’m not telling you what it is.
Heeheehee… I can’t even pretend to not like you, my sweet.
James, my love, since we are never here at the same time anymore, I figure I’ll leave this in the Commies because I know you’ll check them.
I updated at my bloggy-blog. And there is something special there just for you.
Oooh, sneaky, romance messages through the commies… :)
i shall go there ET! tho i should be running out the door…
ju, congrats. and to the other winners. ju, i’d like to write your acceptance speech. here ya go…
“I personally would like to thank the U.S. Americans at mollygood because, uh, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., er, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our children with the, er, commies!”
and hags…i’m going to call your love pouches or vajay-jays “stinkboxes” from now on. y’all can thank jbonz. it truly is the greatest word ever. it even beats “y’all”.
Congrats and well-done, commie winners. BTW, maybe I missed an update, but isn’t Cord in Ireland right now?
Hmmm. Cord + damned good whisky + leprechauns.
Imagine the possibilities, people.
well done y’all!
i heart stinkboxes.
and also hot pockets.
Mmmmmmmmm, hot pockets. Just watch out for the cold middle.
Oh, I hate when that happens. It’s magma on the first bite and glaciers in the middle. I just want my cheeseburger hotpocket evenly heated. They can put a man on the moon, but they can’t do that.
YOU FATTY! THEY NEVER PUT A MAN ON THE MOON. IT JUST AN EXPRESSION/SONGS! ROFL!!!! I LUV HILTON. I HATE PUBLIC SCHOOLS AND BLACK PEOPLE. ISN’T THAT BEING REDUNDENT?? ONLY BLACK PEOPLE GO TO THOSE SHITBOXES! HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I LUV AMY. SHES LOOKING A LITTE FAT LATLY. I HOPE SHE JUST GAIN WATER MASS. OR SHE WOULD BE FAT. I HATE IMMIGRANTS. THEY CAN”T EVEN SPEEK PROPELY! HAHAHAHHAHA. EW, FAT PEOPLE.
Congrats to the winners! Dale, please be my adopted grandad.
What the heck is going on?
Thanks James. That’s exactly what I would say. You complete me.
#26 is from a guy who compared hilter to paris
Congrats to the Commie winners and major props to Whitney for a job well done. Hope you’re feeling better.
iln, you swore you had no penis. What’s going on here?
What’s with this crazy flu? It’s reminding me of, The Stand. I’m not drinking any cough syrup.
ilnazhad: …thanks for the laugh….
Do you have to pronounce “responce” “Responsay” as in Beyonsay?
good golly mr. mollygood, that shit was hilarious, ilnaz.
Il, that reminds me of someone….oh yeah.
Christian Siriano.
Yeah, it totes sounded like Ferocia Cotura! Blam against the post, biyatch!