The missives contained in Mollygood’s comments sections run the gamut from funny to enlightening to choleric to unreadable, but rarely are they boring and even rarer (thankfully) are they peppered with “OMG she is hottttttttt!” or “z”s in the place of “s”s. Since the swift death of Mollygood, Bad and Poetic, the best of these bon mots have gone relatively unnoticed. The Commies will change all that. Each week, the very best will be highlighted here for greater public consumption and, of course, judgment.

Most Familiar Plea: southiejpd

LEAVE BINDY ALONE!!!!!!!!

Best Name: fucked up is the new normal

Best Response to Castro's Resignation: Courtney

So weird that he can resign from the grave. It’s almost like Perez was wrong or something.

Succinctest Jessica Alba Description: celia

this woman can do nothing right.

Worst Gay Joke: Queen

Tom Cruise and John Travolta wishes they were there!

Best Impromptu Haiku: Jeebus

Tongue length & peen size - inversely correlated. That’s so very sad.

Most Informative Christina Aguilera Fan: bkNoob

I can’t even believe I’m saying this, but…. I’ve read interviews where she’s addressed the “whore” makeup she wears and her rationale is that, that’s the mask or her mcdonald’s uniform, if you will. That’s when she’s being “Christina Aguiwhatever” the pop singer/star/breast and if all it takes is some caked on make-up to keep her from being 7 shades of crazy or attention whorey, ala hilton and spears, then cake it on sister, cake. it. on. Also, more “stars” should adopt this 9-5 celebrity mentality.

Best Argument for Cannibalism: queencrone

If we were not meant to eat babies, then why can’t they run?