The missives contained in Mollygood’s comments sections run the gamut from funny to enlightening to choleric to unreadable, but rarely are they boring and even rarer (thankfully) are they peppered with “OMG she is hottttttttt!” or “z”s in the place of “s”s. Since the swift death of Mollygood, Bad and Poetic, the best of these bon mots have gone relatively unnoticed. The Commies will change all that. Each week, the very best will be highlighted here for greater public consumption and, of course, judgment.
Best description of the Star Jones-Al Reynolds marriage: Kitchy
Well it’s tough to see eye to eye when he always insists on mounting you from behind.
Best joke about Gov. Spitzer's prostitution scandal: maria
Did the hooker, spitzer or swallow?
Most impressive dog owner: cooter malfunctioning
My dog enjoys shopping, biking, makeovers, manicures, cooking, target shooting, drag racing, writing, dancing, and on Sundays he is a youth minister.
Best new dance move: notamama
the dance were you spin you head around really fast? what, the exorcist?
Most politically correct: Luz
poo, everyone knows all black people know all other black people. Fact: all minorities in the U.S. know each other. All Hispanics know all other Hispanics and all Jews know all other Jews.
Best explanation of the network that brings you the Lohans and Kardashians: deimos
E! was sent from hell to dumb down the people. true story.
Most likely to save the seals: evil twin
Speak for yourself, Nigel. I would look like hot business in a baby seal coat.
Best attempt at making Cord vomit: Lisa(#1), incarcerated
Feminine Rage, isn’t that a new sort of tampon? Know what I hate ladies, it is when you lose your string and you have to go digging for it. Am I right? And what’s the deal with public restrooms that don’t have tampon dispensers? Do they want the river of estrus flowing from your womb down to your ankles visible for all of humanity? MENSES! Lady Bits! Fruit maker!
Editor
WOW…way to represent hags…Whitney knows how to show love.
Yes, Yes, Yes! Now those are good commies!
P.S.
cooter, your dog is a better bitch than I am. I have a tough enough time getting out of my pajamas on most days. (like today)
Nice commies today .
Congrats to all you hot messes!
I have my bad mamma jammas on too Mae!
re kitchy's commie: i'm glad the terrorists have not in fact won.
re everybody's commies: fuck yeah.
whitney, please marry me.
YEAH! Awesome commies today! Well done to the hags and all the others.
Well played Whitney. Well. Played.
Heckuva job, commies!
yay! congrats to all. whitney- did lisa's comment make cord puke?
Oh God, that TOTALLY makes up for last week. I can imagine Cord is likely spewing coffee and hummus out his nose just reading that.
I think mollygood installed the wordpress alternative reality plug-in, because I just logged on to find the Commies full of hags. Someone help me here. Did kitchy, cooter, deimos, evil twin and deimos just win commies all on one day? If not I might be having an acid flashback. If so, congrats! I lift my single malt in your honor.
lisa: I'll share, but you need to wash your hands first.
I meant "kitchy, cooter, deimos, evil twin and lisa"
and here's to good scotch!
Oh my God, the title of the last one is the BEST COMMIE TITLE EVER!! That is classic, Whitney. I love you. I love you lots.
And I believe Hell just froze over that evil, cooter, deimos and I won all on one day. Thank you!
Sorry I went all chelsea-caps on your asses. I was just too excited over that last Commie.
I'll drink to hanging out in my bad mamma jammas all day, cooter!
These commies are good. Almost as good as the taste of oranges after you brush your teeth using Colgate. (Try it.)
PS
Why are we not getting Someone Haiku as often?
Good question. The last one was posted on March 4th.
Holy shit! This is why Whitney is an honorary hag. I can't believe Kitchy's Commie cherry is finally popped. This is my 4th win, and I couldn't be prouder.
can we make this a mollygood holiday? viva la whitney!!!
Evil, this is my second win. The first one poked fun at me (albeit a valid poking) for focusing on the Hearst chicks boobs.
This one, I feel is much more of an honor. ;)
Whitney is awesome. If Cord would have only loved us a little bit, all this could have been his.
WHAT THE FARFIGNUGEN??? Where am I? I hope I don't get all Tyra on you guys and shit my own pants. My faith in humanity has been restored. Where's James, hold me and pretend your Ryan Reynolds.
Umm… I'm kind of upset that because of Lisa's commie, it made the ebay ad on the side of the page show me a bunch of auctions related to tampons. Eww.
Kitchy, when was the last time you read Evil Twins blog? You should, it was updated and hilarious. Was it updated or am I crazy?
Erica, it wasn't Lisa's fault. It's the fault of those magical ad fairies. They live in your computer and find annoying ads just for you. True story.
Um…it was updated a wee bit ago. I need to give another update because hella shit is going on and I need to therapeutically release it.
i got one, yay…i think.
Release like the wind. But the good wind, not the bad wind.
No luz, it was a good one. Drink freely.
I always forget to read evil's blog. I'm sorry, evil.
Congratulations to all the winners!!!
:-)
Now I have that ad for tampons. Thanks you friggin ad fairies. And a HUGE ps, I would not under any circumstances by tampons or douche from ebay. Sorry if I made you barf, Cord. I threw up in my mouth a little too.
Yay, qc is up. I am sick as a bastard and can't sleep. I think my throat is just going to close up and choke me to death. But I promise with my last dying breath to hit the submit button before I go.
Sugar, the email has been sent. I repeat, the email has been sent.
This message will self-destruct in 15 seconds.
Ahhhhhh, she's probably sleeping, why are you up? Are you feeling fluey too? You can read my latest beer fueled leave a comment and get the boobies surprise. And it has nothing to do with the Ov Glove. Although, I really do want one of those.
Shit, that's supposed to be a singular boobie. Why do they make boobie prize seem like a bad thing? I like boobies. I guess for Cord it would be a bad thing. He doesn't like them so much when they are in the new VS biolift.
Reading The Complete Idiots Guide to being a Complete Idiot has helped the hags win over Whitney and the Commies. Idiocy rules!
Im to stupid to understand that last comment.
I meant to do that.